No Limits Ladies.com

Last week, I was talking to a friend of mine about my Super Bowl blog, and she was asking me how I was going to keep it going after Super Bowl XLII. I know this site has a "shelf life", and my main goal with this project is to use it make contacts that I might use to start other businesses, and hopefully make some money from it as well. But really, what why am I putting so much energy into a one time project?

Time is like money, once it's spent it's gone- unless you spend it right. So I asked myself, "How can I make it a project that 'cash flows'?'

Every morning and evening, I would go over what I wanted from the site, what I would like to see from it, what I would like do, and how could I make it happen?

The answer didn't come to me immediately. But when it did, I knew it was right. Now, I am working on a business that can use AZSBB as a springboard, leveraging the internet traffic, as well as local and out of town connections made through it. I figured out how to turn a one time project into something that will continue on.

Do you have projects that are tying up your energy that you might be able turn into something with a longer life span that will be more profitable?

Women Entrepreneur.com had a an article about eating alone when traveling for business. As I read it, I thought about how this past weekend I had gone to the AZ Cardinals football game by myself. Going places by ourselves is something very few women are comfortable with.

Although I had gotten a ride with friends, I sat in a different section, alone. A few people were surprised and commented to me about being alone. I suppose it is a little more unusual to see a woman by herself at a football game than say, the mall!

I didn't think much of it- I have gotten used to going places by myself, when I don't have my kids with me.

When I first single again, I didn't go anywhere alone. Gradually, I started feeling more comfortable with myself, where I am at, and who I am. I found the courage to go out to eat alone, or to go dancing by myself, and you know what? I was never alone- I was always able to make friends.

The point I'm trying to make is that women seem to have more trouble with the idea of being alone then men do. I believe this thinking also carries over into our thoughts on financial independence. We generally don't think about being financially free ourselves- we think about it in terms of being with another person.

I for one am convinced more than ever that women, even those happily in partnerships, and those that want to be in one someday, still need to be financially independent on their own- and and okay with going it, alone.

I loved Kimber's post today, knowing who your customers are and what they want. (I think that is a great idea; to tell back stories on an author's blog!)

Some of you know that I work with Kim Kiyosaki, helping her develop Rich Woman.com. This past week we were talking about Rich Woman 2.0, what's next on the site.

Kim said she had an epiphany. She realized for the last year, she has been waiting for women to tell her what they want, and hasn't really gotten much response, although the site and book sales continue to grow.

The women don't really know what they want. Or maybe to be more accurate, they don't really know what they need. You don't know what you don't know (you know?).

So she is working on providing what she knows women are looking for, and let it shape itself from there. She is the driver, and the feedback will turn the wheel.

This morning I read a proverb that says, "There is one who pretends to be rich, but has nothing; Another pretends to be poor, but has great wealth." Then I stumbled across this story about a 107 year old would-be-wealthy widow whose assets have been frozen for years, and finds herself living in poverty:

"HAVANA (Reuters) - Canadian Mary McCarthy lives in the same mansion she and her millionaire husband moved into 62 years ago in the once-posh Country Club area of Havana.

Peacocks still strut the one-acre garden under royal palm trees, but the lawn is overgrown and the house filled with Napoleon III furniture, chandeliers and a Steinway grand piano is falling apart.

At the age of 107, McCarthy is wheelchair-bound, but still dresses up for visitors in a satin dress, silk blouse and chiffon scarf, red lipstick coloring her wrinkled face. Her pearl necklace and earrings, though, are plastic.

Her real jewelry and the small fortune she inherited when she was widowed in 1951 have been frozen in a Boston bank since the United States placed Cuba under sanctions after Fidel Castro's leftist revolution in 1959.

That's because she lived in Cuba and did not leave with most of her wealthy Cuban neighbors who fled to Miami when Castro nationalized businesses and steered the Caribbean nation toward Soviet communism.

The Cuban government confiscated her properties and her husband's leather factory, assets valued at $4 million, and she was left only with "Villa Mary," a dilapidated mansion in need of repairs where she lives in virtual poverty.

Since January this year the U.S. government has let her withdraw a $96 a month allowance from her U.S. bank after Canadian diplomats interceded on her behalf.

McCarthy is asking U.S. President George W. Bush to free her money so that she can live her remaining days with dignity. She would also like to have her family's "trinkets" released.

"They said they couldn't give it to me because I live in Cuba. That's the only money that I have left. It is in Boston, but I live in Cuba, that's the great terrible, terrible thing," she said during a recent visit to her home.

"The only thing I want it for is medicines and my doctor. I don't even want to buy candy out of it," she said."

While I have compassion for her situation, I feel this story should be a wake up call to women everywhere. Even if you don't expect to live into your 100's, and even if you are wealthy today, we as women need to have two important things:

Millionaire Mommy Next Door has tagged No Limits Ladies for this 8 Random Thoughts meme...

The rules are

Each player must post these rules first.
Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

Kimber posted her 8, and now for 8 random things about Prlinkbiz (aka Erin):

1. I am addicted to Fuji apples, and try to have one before my coffee each morning.

2. My house is being over-run by kittens right now...

3. My kids get upset when I clean my house, unhappily asking "What did you do!?" (And then promptly getting all their toys back out and taking over what areas the kittens haven't taken over.)

4. I bought an old Jeep Wrangler with a soft top that has no radio, so I sing Jingle Bells and other random songs to my kids for entertainment.

5. Kimber likes to spin in her kitchen, I like to dance everywhere, all the time...I suppose it would be my secret single behavior...

6. I will be thirty in September and have already been planning parties...(some of you know well that I am all about leveraging birthdays!)

7. I am a firm believer in Karma- what goes around comes around, and what you put out there comes back to you - good or bad!

8. I used to be able to say "I don't know much about football, but I know a tight end when I see one", and mean it...now I am neck deep in all things football leading up to Super Bowl XLII, and loving every minute of it!

Yes, that right, you heard me. It's my problem too. And it's not that we are multi millionaires, or maybe you are. Let me rephrase: It's that we have too much access to our money. It is easy to fritter away on this and that, instead of tying it up in income producing assets.

So what do we do?

I can put my emergency fund in an account in another bank, and not carry the card with me. That way, I can get to it quickly if I need, but not so quickly if I feel the need to hit up that sale at Victoria's Secret.

If I have money set aside to pay bills with- here's a novel idea- I can pay the bills early!

I can give myself a weekly cash allowance, like Kimber has talked about, and not even carry my debit cards.

I can leave my kids at home when I go shopping- do you know how many extra things those guys toss in the cart?!

In the words of Pink, I'm my own worst enemy...how do I not let me get me?

What things do you do?

Kim Kiyosaki, sharing with a group of business women, said the key to the level of success they had reached was in making mistakes. She related the story of how Cashflow Technologies and Rich Dad Poor Dad got it's start- there was nothing planned about it!

Ass- Backwards
After Robert and Kim Kiyosaki had retired from their real estate investments and sale of their business in 1994, they found that so many people asked them how they were able to retire, they created the game Cashflow.

Cashflow was basically everything they had learned, and real life deals they had done (both good and bad) made into a board game that people could learn from and teach one another with. Once they had the games, they weren't really sure how they were going to sell them.

Robert created a brochure called Rich Dad Poor Dad that they were going to use to help sell the game. They placed thewhat by then had become a book, at a friend's car wash in Texas, and upon recommendation, placed an ad in a radio and tv magazine. They had no means for distributing the game, but they did get a couple of interviews.

At the end of each of the interviews, when asked where people could find Rich Dad Poor Dad, Robert would say, "In bookstores everywhere."

Within two weeks, Borders and Barnes and Noble Headquarters called saying, we have been looking for you! And that's how Rich Dad got into bookstores...ass-backwards!

Robert and Kim never set out to be authors, they created the Cashflow game and the #1 mission has always been to get people to play the game and learn. They never imagined Rich Dad Poor Dad would become the phenomena that it has become!

This morning I went with Kim Kiyosaki, author of Rich Woman, to hear her give a presentation to a group of business women.

Kim wanted to share her personal story of how she/they have acheived some level of success to encourage the women. Instead of talking about business plans, mission statements, or any of the usual suspects, Kim decided to talk about mistakes they had made along the way that contributed to their success.

I'd like break her talk down into smaller sections, because I thought each story was invaluable and fun to hear about.

Starting tomorrow, I'll do a two part series from Kim Kiyosaki's talk on the key to their success!

First thing to go when I experienced my financial emergency, was my emergency fund. And boy did it go fast. After my head stopped spinning, I got to thinking about three things:

1. I was so glad I had an emergency fund. (If you missed it, check out Kimber's practical guide to emergency accounts.)

2. I could kick myself for it not being bigger.

3. It was gone- now what? What could I sell or how could I make money quickly?

Once my emergency fund was gone, I turned my attention to freeing up money I had tied up in assets I felt could be liquidated quickly. For me, I chose a secured line of credit that happened to be swtiching over, releasing my money back, and an vehicle I could sell to pull my cash back out of.

For me, this is the most important question when it comes to preparing for financial emergencies:

How can I make money quickly?

The bottom line is that an emergency fund and plan are only there to act as a cushion...where will you be once the cushion deflates? This week we have looked at emergency funds that can vanish before your eyes, assets that can be liquidated, usually for less than you think they are worth, and now we ask, can you make money quickly?

Earlier this week, Start Up Princess had an amazing list, that included several things you can do to make money quickly. I did several of these things myself.

I'm big on selling things. If it isn't nailed down, when I need cash, it's on Craigslist and sold! (Excluding my kids and soul...)

Don't worry about getting top dollar; remember, a bird in the hand is better than two in the bush.
Sell whatever can make the most money and be replaced. Just get through it and get some traction.

What else can you do to make money quickly? Stop spending it. Everything you don't spend, is money you earned. This would seem obvious, but if you are like me, you may have some bad habits that die hard (remember the whole denial thing?)

What else? What skills? What jobs? If we can swallow our pride, and just focus on getting back in the game, the world opens up and rewards us.

Generally, when there is an emergency, we have alarms in place to let us know: the siren of a fire truck, a fire alarm, etc. We have trained ourselves to know how to respond to these kinds of alarms.

What about financial emergencies?

While we may see the cause of the emergency, the loss of a job, an illness, an unexpected disaster, it is much more difficult for us to understand how these instances may actually play out and the chain of reaction that will be set in motion.

Maybe we have to go into denial to survive and just keep putting one foot in front of the other? Maybe we have to pretend it will all be back to the way it was soon. But that path no longer exists in many circumstances- life has forced us off the beaten path we know, and into the great unknown.

How can you know? How can you see when you are in denial? Is it possible to hear the warning alarms in our heads and train ourselves to respond, the way we did as children during fire drills at school?

I believe we can prepare ourselves. As I work my way through a financial emergency, I can tell you that the one piece of advice, the one saying that has gotten me through is this:

Eat the bunny early.

The bunny story, some of you may remember, was one a former pilot friend of mine told about survival training he had done. They were given a bunny one week prior to training, to care for. They were then instructed to take the bunny with them as they were dropped in the wilderness to survive for a week. Some of the pilots did everything they could to spare the poor bunny's life, only to end up giving in when they were desperate and weak.

The lesson? Eat the bunny early. Identify the situation and realize you will need to keep your wits and strength up to make it through. When you find yourself in an alarming situation, learn to identify, and not deny. Then step into action. Put your emergency plan into play. Keep yourself financially afloat, so you do not find yourself making poor decisions based on waiting to the last minute, and acting out of desperation.

Easier said than done, I agree. As I reflect back over what I did and what I would like to do differently, I hope you will also evaluate your own emergency plans.

The emergency fund, a staple piece of advice given by all who would advise on personal finance. But what does that mean exactly? Should putting money aside be my first priority? How much should be in said fund? Should it be a standard account or in the form of assets that can liquidated in case of emergency?

I recently went experienced a financial emergency that turned my finances into a train wreck, that I have been getting back on track (pick it up, pick it up, pick it up). It has caused me to reevaluate what financial preparations I would like to have in place in the future.

Over the next few days I plan to share my thoughts and theories on emergency funds, as well as share with you what some of our favorite bloggers have to say on the subject of contingency planning!

We'd love to hear from you as well! Stay tuned in this week!

Rich Minx started a thought provoking conversation: What would you do for money?

In her post, Rich Minx makes reference to dressing up a fruit, which, though maybe not her proudest moment, is not unethical. The CNN article about what people who or wouldn' t do for money seems to focus more on the ethics of how money works between family members and friends.

I've got to say, I think it can get a lot darker than that. Maybe some of you can relate?

You really never know what you or others are capable of doing, until it hits the fan, and we feel backed into a corner. When we feel we have no options and are panicked, it is amazing how quickly morals will go out the window and we can literally become animals trying to survive.

In my darkest moments, I contemplated doing things I once viewed unimaginable. I'm not proud of that. But I know I am not alone. I can see why women marry to have a roof over there heads and food and clothes for their children. I can understand how women who feel they have no options will do demoralizing things to just make it each day. It's not okay, it's not pretty, and it is never the only option.

But I can understand now. I have more compassion. Because when it comes down to it, there is more truth to this saying that most of us would like to admit:

"Peaceful coexistence is all a matter of resources. When people have enough money, they are quiet."

(How's that for some dark thoughts on your nice Saturday?)

The Negative Person, the Endless Promises friend, and the User...with friends like these who needs enemies? I think it is more difficult for women to realize when people in our lives are taking a toll on us, because we are more nuturing by nature. Allowing these people into our lives, these "friendships" come with a high price, we need to realize that and learn to say "Enough is Enough".

The Negative Person
Nothing will sap your energy or steal your thunder like a negative person. The glass is always half-empty and the sky is always falling. Their negativity will drain you of your positive energy and leave you dying a little each time you spend time around them. Negativity is a snake that coils around your neck and slowly strangles your life away.

When asked what is the one most important piece of advice Kim Kiyosaki could share would be, she, without hesitation replied, "Avoid negative people." Negativity kills dreams, can you afford to have that happen?

The Endless Promises Friend
You know these people, they can never keep their word, BUT there is always some great reason or some personal drama in their lives that keeps you holding out hope that maybe next time they really will do what they say....only to have the same cycle repeat. They waste your time, and worse they pull on your heart strings, abusing your empathy and goodwill.

There is a proverb that goes: Hope deferred makes the heart sick. Release yourself from the cycle and free your heart to pursue people and dreams that won't waste your time.

The User
If you are an especially giving person, you may find you attract these people to you. But they only show up when they need something, or may pop in now and then to appease you and "keep the wheels greased" for giving. They will take and take and take as much of your time, energy and goods as you will give them, never once feeling indebted to the law of reciprocity to return the favor of kindness. Again, friends like these are like bad deals draining your cash and energy each month; better to cut your losses and move on.

When To Walk Away
Most of us have a hard time seeing things for what they really are; we want to believe the best in people. We don't want to admit that the signs were there and we didn't heed them. We can't deny who we are, or who we want to be- faithful friends. But how long can you stay in that negative marriage? How long can you keep that friend whose word is worth jack crap and only keeps you around when they need something?

What is your self-esteem worth to you? What are your dreams and freedom worth? How about your time and energy- your kids? When it comes to having these people in our lives, the price is high...too high.

There's nothing quite like going through a divorce to rock a woman's stability financially. Many women have taken a lesser role when it has come to bringing in money for the family, and even if that is not the case, it is still a disorienting experience.

How can a woman go through a divorce and be financially stable afterward? Although situations may vary, there are some things that I think apply across the board.

Make A Clean Break
Although divorce can be messy, the important thing is the end result and getting there as painlessly as possible. The dividing of the things is a process for sure, everything from furniture to friends, as well as assets and the less fun debts and loans. Make sure that everything that once was joined together, be put asunder, leave nothing tied up, to chance or negligence.

Get The Cash Flowing
This is true especially for women who may not have been working prior to the divorce. This is something that needs to be thought of and worked on because it can take some time to either find a job, get paid, start a business, etc. If there are reserves to live off, that is great, however, they are best "reserved" for absolute emergencies and not lived off of until they run dry. Without income, or cash flowing in, you may find yourself up a creek without a paddle.

Getting Back On Track
It is often necessary to downsize after a divorce, at least for many women. Statistics say that in the first year after a divorce, a woman's standard of living drops an average of 73%. It is important to protect things that can keep you going and help get you back on track, like cash flow and credit.

As a Forbes.com article (How to Survive a Divorce Financially) puts it:

"The unhappy fact is that, once the terms of your divorce are settled, you will be poorer than you were during your marriage. The upside is that you will know exactly where you stand financially and what you need to do to get back on track."

And you will. It is possible to bounce back and be more successful and financially stable after a divorce ladies.

There are many ways people describe wealth. I like R. Buckminster Fuller's definition of wealth:

'A person's ability to survive X number of days forward.'

Financially, that means how many days can you or I survive without working? Key words here being without working.

"When credit dries up, cash goes into hiding," said Robert Kiyosaki at one of our meetings. He was talking about the current markets, and how he didn't think we were in a housing bubble so much as a credit bubble. He went on to talk about how they are paying down their own mortgages, and freeing up cash in order to take advantage of the opportunities this kind of market provides.

When cash goes into hiding, those who have it, get the deals.

That was a couple months ago and I am really starting to see it happen. I have a vehicle for sale right now, and wow is it a different market than it was back in November when I bought this one.

When people's house values are up, they feel good, "house-rich" and are more inclined to spend. When housing values go down, people feel much less inclined to spend money, especially when so many were highly leveraged and may not find themselves upside down in their homes.

Cash goes into hiding.

So, even the market for cars has changed. Those with readily available cash can find really good deals right now, not only on cars, but houses, etc. (Range Rover anyone?)

Admittedly, I am always behind the times when it comes to knowing what is the coolest new thing on TV. I ran across information online about how to apply to be part of season 2 of Big Spender, a show on A&E that tackles people's financial issues.

The show's host, Larry Winget –' New York Times Bestseller and the self proclaimed “Pitbull of Personal Development” –confronts people head on about their spending and shopping problems and then puts them on a budget to help get their lives back on track.

Every Saturday at 6:30PM/5:30C Larry ambushes our BIG SPENDER, catching them in the act. And once he does, everything is fair game – from digging through their closets to unearth 40 or 50 pairs of new shoes, to letting a spouse know that their partner has secretly taken out a loan for $50,000.'

Gotta love a guy, on our financial blogs, who is quoted as saying this:

"You can't drive that Louis Vuitton bag to the grocery store." - Larry Winget

Anybody seen the show? Thoughts?

Tuesday morning, I attended a staff meeting. Robert and Kim Kiyosaki were updating all of us on their recent trip to Africa and talking about things they themselves are learning.

One thing RK said has stuck with me all week. He made reference to a book he had read called "Excuse Me, Your Life Is Waiting". He said the book spoke about how it's not what is happening to you, but how you interpret what is happening to you that matters.

I have been trying to apply this to my life right now. What situations am I in that I could be complaining about, blaming others, playing the victim, etc? How can I take responsibility, learn the lessons, and change my attitude to one of, "okay, how am I going to make the best of this?"

Attitude apparently is everything!

Whenever I think of women and finance, I always think of two things:

1) Knowing how to make our own money

and then also,

2) Knowing how to manage that money.

Too many women I think have been trained to think that balancing a check book = financial education or is managing money properly. While it is important to be able to do that, and it is amazing how many ladies need to start with that, managing money onto more growth, tying it up, and moving it into other investments that make money is the key.

How do you make money? Then, how are you managing it onto more growth?

Here's some Saturday fun with speed-linking!

Skinny Jeans Steph has lots of good fun for the ladies, but this quote was amazing I thought...

Our girl Kimber, aka Client K talks about getting to yes...something that is extremely important in negotiating, deal making, and reaching our financial goals...

Madame X hosted the Carnival of Personal Finance #100, featuring 100 posts (including one from NLL)...

Short and sweet...now get out there and enjoy your day, look for deals or enjoy your family!

The harder you have to work for something, the more difficult it is to just let it go. At least that is how I am feeling in my life right now.

I have spent the better part of the last year working hard on building my personal credit. I have had strategies in place, and have been monitoring it closely.

The EFT train wreck this past week threatened to derail all my hard work...and I was not about to let that happen. I went on the offensive and made sure I covered all my bases, crossed my t's and dotted my i's. I am not about to let someone else's mistakes set me back on my financial goals.

I also feel that way about my physical goals. Since hiring a trainer, and getting my ass handed to me three days a week, I'm a lot more reluctant to eat things that may keep me from reaching my goals. Maybe if I had only been taking a diet pill that promised to do all the work for me, I would not be so determined. Instead, it costs me something personally and I am unwilling to have all that hard work be for nothing!

My point is, the harder you work for something, the more difficult it is to give in, or let someone else ruin it for you- that is true for our credit, and especially true for our financial futures ladies. It's easy to be comfortable, get by, easy to not make the effort or to hope someone or something else will fix it... been guilty of that myself.

You want to take control of your financial future? Make the effort, and keep after it. It does make a difference!

Yesterday Kimber wrote about Nice Girl's Don't Get The Corner Office, which reminded me I have Nice Girl's Don't Get Rich: 75 Avoidable Mistakes Women Make With Money on my bookshelf. (Yeah, I've read it already, and now I'm a rich bitch...)

I flipped through it again, and found a book marker on Mistake #59, which also happens to be very similar to Mistake #57- both of which I think are important to make mention of:

Mistake # 57- Giving Away Your Time and Mistake #59 - Not Charging For Your Services

Both of these, giving away your time and not charging for your services can be traced to us as women wanting to put relationships before money.

All women can fall into this kind of thinking, from high paid professionals to stay at home moms who do extra things for others.

No matter where you find yourself on the money making side of things, the point is that your time is worth something- it is a valuable asset and you should not short change yourself.

The money can really add up and make a huge difference in the long haul. Remember Kimber's post on what $10 can buy? (If you missed it, you should definitely read it!) And be aware of the messages we are sending the younger girls who look up to us. Do we really want to perpetuate that women should do things for free that men get paid for?

Bottom line is that we as women are equaly capable and equally responsible for ourselves, and we have got to value ourselves and our time.

I've got business on the brain right now, since I've been working on a new project. My personal plan has always been to create businesses that provide excess money to invest with (real estate and more businesses) , so that's what I'm doing.

Just last night I was talking to a friend who had decided that he only wanted to do business now with friends, which I was surprised at. Maybe that is because after starting a business with my ex, our marriage and the business both suffered, so I am careful when it comes to mixing business, friends and family.

Rhonda Abrams (The Passionate Entrepreneur) column this week on Yahoo Finance is about this very thing... well, Hiring Family Members- but I think the same sort of thinking applies if this is something you are going to attempt:

1) Hire them because they are qualified for the job.

2) Set clear boundaries and be respectful.

3) Leave it at work.

Do any of you work with friends or family, or do business with friends or family members? If so, what are your thoughts?

I'm a control freak (this is very different than being a neat freak, although both are members of the freak family). I have never signed up for EFT (electronic funds transfer) or automatic payments. I like to know who, what, where, when, and why my money is leaving my account.

However, I was pleasantly surprised to discover that my ex had our old car insurance set up on EFT for two years in my name, which actually built my credit (trade line history).

I was so inspired by this, and since I am still (always) building and looking for ways to improve my credit scores, I took a bold step and set my new car insurance up on EFT.

This turned out very badly. The results were a trainwreck that just kept going and I was left to pick up the pieces, and I'm working to make sure my credit has not been damaged by the incident.

I have cancelled EFT and do not plan to use it again. I thought EFT would be my friend, but it turned out to be my foe.

Anyone else have experiences good or bad?

I thought it was appropriate to post our girl Amanda's post Mom and Money on our "Mom and Money" Week here at NLL! She lists the tips from mom she found on Bankrate.com and threw in her own "two cents" as well! (<----PF Blogger Joke)

10 choice 'momisms'

1. "Have a place for everything, and everything in its place."
2. "Don't be late."
3. "You can do anything if you set your mind to it."
4. "Know your own value."
5. "Do your homework!"
6. "Practice, practice, practice."
7. "Don't be afraid to ask for help."
8. "Take your time, and check your facts."
9. "Be yourself."
10. "There's more to life than money."

Man, I could write my own commentary on each of these! How about you? Thoughts on any of these?

1) I'm just a girl... (We're not afraid to say, "I don't know", are willing to ask for help, and have much less ego.)
2) Moms are great shoppers. (Instead of shopping for shoes or groceries, we learn to look for deals..assets that put money in our pockets instead of take money out!)
3) Moms get their hands on information...(We are very good at researching, and usually more risk averse, so we don't tend buy on the "hot tip".)
4) Mothers are nuturers. (Good at managing, improving properties and businesses, as well as nuturing social connections and circles.)
5) Mother's intuition. (Sometimes we just know...)

I could go on... any of you have more reasons you would like to share?

Yesterday, we addressed some of the money myths we may have learned from our moms. So today as promised, we are going to talk about how to break away from the female stereotypes when it comes to money.

Kim Kiyosaki writes in her book Rich Woman about busting our of old stereotypes:

"It is no longer a valid excuse to say, 'I'm not good with money,' or 'I don't know anything about investing.' The past doesn't matter at this point. What does matter is the choice you make today.

As best I can see there are two choices:

1) Accept that you have no place in the world of money and investing - be content balancing a checkbook and paying the family bills.

OR

2) Choose to take control of your financial life. Know that your financial future is up to you and no one else. Get smart with your money. Get prepared. Take action. And go make things happen.

This is the decision: Am I going to commit to do what it takes for my personal financial success...or not? If not, then I understand that I am agreeing to allow someone else to be responsible for my financial well-being and accept the consequences that go along with that. If on the other hand, I am willing to commit, then it's time to put aside all excuses and get to work."

We believe that women should not set any limits to what we can or cannot do, especially when it comes to business, finance and investing (hence the name of our site!). So now that we know women and this week's focus particularly- mothers- can take control of our financial futures, tomorrow we'll talk about the Top Five Reasons Moms Make Great Investors!

I ran across this article on the Money Myths We Inherit From Mom.

Here is an abbreviated version of the article (you can read it in full here):
Money Myths We Inherit From Mom
Talking to women about how we manage money makes it clear that our mothers are powerful financial role models -- for better or worse.

How do women learn about money? Where do we get our habits, attitudes and expectations?

Writing about the Women in Red leads me to ponder these things. It gives me the chance to observe the way many women (and not just WIR members) manage their financial lives. Or not.

And the Not is what troubles me.

In past columns I've explored the financial influence of everything from one's innermost fears to the sitcom "Friends." But there's a larger force that looms in every woman's life: Mom.

Surgeon General's warning
Don't worry, I'm not about to skewer our mothers as the source of all money woes. Nor am I saying that women in general are financially clueless. Clearly, many women are making economic progress. And kudos to them! But as far as I can tell, this rising tide isn't lifting all boats...

In the six months or so I've been focusing on where my gender is at financially, I must have interviewed 50 or 60 women across the country. And what I see depresses me. Most women I've spoken with:

* Are worried about money.
* Don't feel in control of their finances.
* Wish they knew more about saving and investing, but "don't know where to start."

And a significant number either rely on someone else to manage their money or are waiting, hoping or praying for that to happen.

Your mother, your self
It's no secret that parents play a big role in your financial development. But Harvard psychologist Carol Kauffman, Ph.D., says that women get a slew of complex messages about money as they're growing up, specifically from their mothers.

"Unlike men, women who grew up in the '60s and '70s got mixed messages from their moms -- and from society -- about whether you were supposed to be in control of your finances or wait for your husband to do it."

What also became clear, as I interviewed 13 women on this topic, was that our mothers were powerful financial role models -- whether they planned to be or not. Eight out of 13 have followed their mothers' example, even when it wasn't positive or profitable.

Three more live financial lives in direct reaction to their mothers.

Only two women seemed moderately influenced by their moms, but had managed to craft their own financial way of life.

Mothers, daughters and money
Each mother-daughter relationship is unique (right, Mom?). Still, I noticed a few maternal archetypes and the financial impact they can have:

1) The coupon-clipping mom.

2) The extravagant mom.

3) The head-in-the-sand mom.

4) The financial-dynamo mom.

Coping with your mom's money messages
You may feel a mix of things about the financial example you got from your mom (or your dad -- but we'll tackle him in a later column). Here are some tips for working with inherited money habits:

* Acknowledge your mother's influence: Whether your mom was a positive role model or not, it's important to be aware of the ways you're following in her financial footsteps or trying to be the polar opposite.

* Skip the blame: Finger-pointing won't help your finances. Seeing yourself as a separate financial person will. Brice recently watched her mother make some impulsive, short-term money moves. "I was shocked. I may not have a lot to work with myself, but I'm gaining an understanding of how to manage money -- and I know she's not doing the right thing."

* Make your own choices: There's a tendency to forget that you're not stuck with what you're raised with. Like many of the women I spoke to, (especially Brice, Beth and Anna), I'm grateful for the money skills I got from my mom. But now we're realizing that we can be even more proactive about money. And what mother wouldn't want that for her daughter?

Tomorrow...more on how to break away from the female stereotypes when it comes to money and learn how to make different choices about your financial future!

Reuters had an article about Stay-at-home mother's work worth $138,095 a year:

NEW YORK (Reuters) - If the typical stay-at-home mother in the United States were paid for her work as a housekeeper, cook and psychologist among other roles, she would earn $138,095 a year, according to research released on Wednesday.

This reflected a 3 percent raise from last year's $134,121, according to Salary.com Inc, Waltham, Massachusetts-based compensation experts.

The 10 jobs listed as comprising a mother's work were housekeeper, cook, day care center teacher, laundry machine operator, van driver, facilities manager, janitor, computer operator, chief executive officer and psychologist, it said.

The typical mother puts in a 92-hour work week, it said, working 40 hours at base pay and 52 hours overtime.

A mother who holds full-time job outside the home would earn an additional $85,939 for the work she does at home, Salary.com.

Last year she would have earned $85,876 for her at-home work, it said.

Salary.com compiled the online responses of 26,000 stay-at-home mothers and 14,000 mothers who also work outside the home.

Kimber here...
Okay, I'm going to tag onto E's post 'cause this "research" ticks me off.
Moms add value...a lot of value.
The human race would be extinct without them.
Taking a serious look at the serious contribution of these Moms is essential.

This is NOT a serious look.

Why?

According to the U.S. Census Bureau, the 2004 median income for full time year round workers was $40,798 for males and $31,223 for females.

That means that our SAHM is making the equivalent of about 3.5 full time workers.

The most common work week in the U.S. is 40 hours (1997 Bureau of National Affairs) so working 3.5 jobs, our dear SAHM is slaving away 20 hours a day, every day.

4 hours of sleep a night just ain't healthy, ladies.

Any opponent of putting a value on SAHM's valuable work will do the same calculation.
They'll laugh at this survey, laugh at the topic and dismiss it.

When it should be discussed.
If Salary.com was serious about this subject,
they should do Moms everywhere a favor and put a serious price tag on their value.

Guy Kawasaki had a great blog post, just in time for Mother's Day, linking to an article about What Stay at Home Mothers Are Worth. I thought it was great- Guy has always been very respectful. However, after I started reading the comments, I was appalled. Their mothers and wives should be ashamed of some of them.

Here is an elaborated version of the comment I left in reply:

"The point of the article (done every year) is to show that there is monetary value to what stay at home mothers do... at no charge to the end users.

It is about respect for women who have chosen to stay home with their families. How about a little thankfulness? Obviously Guy has respect for mothers and the mother of his children.

Besides the survey doesn't factor in all it costs a woman to make the choice to be at home:lost experience and time at a career, lost retirement and other benefits that often accompany a job, and her own money from a job or career and all the investments, etc. she could have done with that money (to name a few things)- that is a hell of a lot more than $138K a year.

I have chosen to be a work from home mother- I have friends who stay at home and I have friends who have careers- the bottom line is is costs to be a woman and have children.

Not looking for sympathy or special help, but at least take a good hard look and acknowledge the women who made and make sacrifices like this everyday."

Agree? Disagree? I believe the internet has leveled the playing field, so women can stay at home and make their own money. However, whatever choice a mother makes should be acknowledged and respected, not for what she could theoretically make, but for what it has cost her to make that choice.

We often hear about married folks not having enough money, however, what about the flip side: divorced women who have children and extra money? Having experienced this personally, I'd like to share my thoughts on the subject.

There are many things we are told by financial gurus to do with our money. I truly believe that extra money just sitting will find its way to someone else who will put it to work for them, so it may as well be working for me, right? I, for one, have become a fan of investing in things that cash flow, and am looking for more ways to do so.

I am a fan of cash flow for two reasons:

1) My money keeps moving (earning and growing, instead of sitting or perhaps wandering off to the mall...)
2) More money in my pocket (my asset pays for my life, liabilities, and other assets)

These give me more security as a divorced mother with children, and also more income with which to do other things with, or income coming in if godforbid something happens to me.

There are different investments to choose from, always try to love what you invest in and understand it (the two really go hand in hand).

The two things to be aware of with investments from this extra money, in my personal opinion would be:

1) Look for the best ROI (biggest bang for the buck, making more of and for less...)
2) Look for the most control over your investments.

These two have become important to me because holding out for an investment with the best ROI (return on/of investment) I can is the best use of that money- more bang for my bucks. The control is something I really have come to value. If the proverbial shit hits the fan, the more control you have over your investment, again the greater security when you have children who rely on you.

Are you a divorced woman with children and extra money? What are you doing with that money?

I love the interesting conversations I have with my hair girl. Today, she was asking me about how I came up with my boy's names, which lead into a whole conversation about names, where they come from and how they can affect us, especially women.
(
I am hair challenged. So I bring in the big guns, aka, my hair designer (that's what's on her card) every three weeks or so. Any who...)

She was telling me abut how she came up with her daughter's name: she is a beautiful girl, she makes other people more beautiful, and she picked out pretty names for her girl. (One of those pretty names coming from the tag of her favorite sweater!) Her daughter, now almost 20, is a very pretty girl...not a rocket scientist. Coincidence?

My father remarried and he and his wife had two daughters (I was already out of the house). They are very intelligent and were very concerned from the beginning that the girls would be smart and successful as well. Their names? Emily and Ellen.

I remember going through the baby names books, and reading the ideas behind names perhaps contributing to one's success or hindering it. How much do you think it actually holds true?

Are women named Candi, Bambi and Jenna really more likely to be a stripper than an wall street analyst? Do names really have socially limiting impact, as far as women being predispositioned to believe they are pretty or smart, but the two are some how mutually exclusive?

We are going to put together a special Mother's Day book package for our No Limits Ladies readers, so this past weekend, I was poking around my favorite bookstore looking for anything new and interesting.

I came across a book that was just released, called The Feminine Mistake: Are We Giving Up Too Much? By Leslie Bennetts. I answered outloud, "Yes we are!", and intrigued, I picked the book up.

After reading through the prologue, I knew this was going to be a powerful book. However, when I looked up the book's site The Feminine Mistake.com, I stumbled onto this post about the controversy this book is causing.

I have to admit I was sort of surprised. I am of the opinion that all women need to have a way to make, manage, and grow our own money- a man is not a plan (not a good one anyway). It has nothing to do with trusting men, or whether we as women choose careers or family first- it has to do with personal responsibility and the harsh reality of startling statistics like these:

-47% of women over the age of 50 are single.
-50% of marriages end in divorce.
-In the first year after a divorce a woman's standard of living drops an average of 73%.
-Of the elderly living in poverty 3 out of 4 are women - and 80% of them were not poor when their husbands were alive.
-Nearly 7out of 10 women will at some time live in poverty.
(statistics courtesy of Rich Woman.com)

In this day and age, we don't have to necessarily chose between working or staying at home- the internet has leveled the playing field. No matter what side of the issue you are on, I hope this site, the statistics, and perhaps this book will help you take control of your financial future, if you haven't already.