No Limits Ladies.com

Last week, my publisher Champagne Books generously offered my latest release Invisible as a free download during Read An eBook Week. Despite it only being for the week, it was a risky move. How many people would BUY a book when they could get it for free?

Or was it risky?

It is the recession. Yes, romance novel sales are still strong (it is an inexpensive indulgence) but those are sales for well known authors. I’m not well known. Readers are less likely to gamble their hard saved money on an unknown author.

So it was less of a risk because we had less sales to possibly lose. Combine that with readers having more time and less money and a free offer becomes even more appealing.

The results were blogger coverage and a staggering amount of downloads. When the economy recovers (maybe in time for my next full length release in 2010?), I’ll have a group of readers familiar with my writing. They will no longer be taking a chance with their money. They’ll know they will get a great read.

AND I’m seeing increased sales. I have a strong enough base for word of mouth to start working. It looks like I will sell more of this second novel than I did with the first. All by giving it away.

That’s why NOW is the best time to build your business or launch your product. Sampling (recommended with any new product) will make more of an impact. Consumers are receptive to new ideas. They are out of their comfort zone. This is your chance to put them back in yours.

Don’t wait for the economy to recover. That’s when your competition will come out of hiding.

TODAY is the day!

I am naturally an optimistic person but lately, I’ve had a series of ‘failures’ batter my self esteem. Yesterday, I was feeling broken down. I was having a hard time getting motivated. I couldn’t dig up the positive energy needed to sell, sell, sell.

I had a pile of work to do, my list growing longer by the minute.

So what did I do? I went on a mini-vacation.

I spent an evening in bed, under the covers, reading a treasured romance novel, one I’ve read a hundred times before, a guaranteed good read. I sipped hot chocolate and lost myself in the book.

This morning, I feel wealthy. I’ve had a taste of what I’m working towards. My mind is clear and spinning with ideas. Problems I thought were insurmountable now have possible solutions (some solutions may be a little crazy and need fine-tuning). I can not only cope with the day but excel.

Of course, I couldn’t escape my problems like this all the time. That would make them grow until they were out of control. But when the strain and stress gets too much, a mini-vacation gives the brain a rest.

Other mini-vacations include bubble baths, getting sucked into a good movie, going to the putting green and whacking a few balls, simply going to http://www.jokes.com/ and laughing at the joke of the day.

There was lotto fever in my city last week. With the jackpot, everyone was buying tickets. There were work pools and group buys.

My hubby’s coworker wanted to go in with him on some tickets (a smart move as he was buying quite a few tickets and she only paid for one). When he bought the tickets, she asked him “How will I know you won’t skip town if you win?” My hubby laughed, thinking she was joking. She wasn’t. And the reason she asked the question was because she would be seriously tempted to claim the entire prize for herself if she won.

The hubby and I don’t play that way. You may think it is because we now have ‘enough’ but no, we’ve never played that way.

You see, when I was 12 years old, I was a kindergarten helper. I’d help the teacher with the young kids during recess and lunch hour. Every year, parents would donate their used holiday cards so kids could do arts and crafts with them (collages and such). My job, one recess, was to separate the front (with the picture) from the back (with people’s signatures and personal messages). I was a horse freak and there was this one card with a horse on it.

I wanted that card. Badly.

Looking back, I should have asked to have that card. It was a used card, for goodness sakes! But then, I was afraid the teacher would say no. And I REALLY wanted that card.

So I stole it. I hid it in my jacket, took it home, and kept it under my bed. For years, the card was there, a constant symbol of the bad, bad thing I had done. I finally destroyed it, hoping the guilt would leave with it. It didn’t. To this day, I feel guilty.

I learned a lasting lesson with that used card. Nothing, nothing in life is worth compromising your morals for. If you believe stealing is wrong, a million dollars won’t make that guilt go away.

BTW… the hubby will never buy a lotto ticket with that coworker again and he will think twice about working with her on projects.

There was lotto fever in my city last week. With the jackpot, everyone was buying tickets. There were work pools and group buys.

My hubby’s coworker wanted to go in with him on some tickets (a smart move as he was buying quite a few tickets and she only paid for one). When he bought the tickets, she asked him “How will I know you won’t skip town if you win?” My hubby laughed, thinking she was joking. She wasn’t. And the reason she asked the question was because she would be seriously tempted to claim the entire prize for herself if she won.

The hubby and I don’t play that way. You may think it is because we now have ‘enough’ but no, we’ve never played that way.

You see, when I was 12 years old, I was a kindergarten helper. I’d help the teacher with the young kids during recess and lunch hour. Every year, parents would donate their used holiday cards so kids could do arts and crafts with them (collages and such). My job, one recess, was to separate the front (with the picture) from the back (with people’s signatures and personal messages). I was a horse freak and there was this one card with a horse on it.

I wanted that card. Badly.

Looking back, I should have asked to have that card. It was a used card, for goodness sakes! But then, I was afraid the teacher would say no. And I REALLY wanted that card.

So I stole it. I hid it in my jacket, took it home, and kept it under my bed. For years, the card was there, a constant symbol of the bad, bad thing I had done. I finally destroyed it, hoping the guilt would leave with it. It didn’t. To this day, I feel guilty.

I learned a lasting lesson with that used card. Nothing, nothing in life is worth compromising your morals for. If you believe stealing is wrong, a million dollars won’t make that guilt go away.

BTW… the hubby will never buy a lotto ticket with that coworker again and he will think twice about working with her on projects.

I read this book at exactly the right time. You see after the massive layoffs on Monday with some friends and my hubby's coworkers getting the axe, I was grabbling with the whole 'should I be taking a job from someone else? Do I need this more than someone else?' dilemma.

There was also a charity auction with advertising up for grabs. There were two package worth $400 each. My max bids were $100 (because I already allocated my advertising dollars). My winning bids were $61 and $66 each. Yes, bargain basement prices but this was benefiting a charitable cause. I felt guilty.

Then I read the chapter on sharing the road.

"Why can't we acknowledge the fairness of toll booths, when we must stop for a minute and pay a small price for maintaining the cost of a road? Where are the toll booths in your life? Did you slow down and make your contribution? Or did you try to speed through it without paying to avoid a two-dollar toll only to wind up with a two-hundred-dollar ticket? And did you have a kind word for the toll booth operators, who suffers through one of the most boring jobs on the planet on a daily basis?"

I could have simply paid the winning bid. That was the expectation. But part of the responsibility of having a great job in a terrible economy is helping to support services that others no longer can. Everyone knew the advertising was a deal. They simply didn't have the money to pay for it.

So I paid more. More than the winning bids. More than my max bids.

I'm hoping the extra will help the person the auction is fundraising for. I'm also hoping that the increased bids will give the donators a warm fuzzy (the feeling you get when you snuggle into your favorite fuzzy sweater) about giving and they'll do it again.

In addition to this, I had a talk with my contract headhunter. He was bubbling over with gratitude about me getting this contract gig. He's on commission. If he doesn't place people, he doesn't get paid. And the pickings are very, very slim. The only reason I landed this job is because I'd done some work for the company before. The competition was that fierce.

Road Rules is not a business specific book. It is a life book. The lessons in it won't be new but maybe, like me, you need reminding.

I was talking to a loved one on the weekend about investing. He has a friend who had a solid investment plan. He stuck to that plan for the past five or so years and did well.

Then the stock market tanked. And tanked. And tanked.

Yes, the market going down was in his plan but he forgot that fact. He panicked. He sold. He tried to make up losses by speculating. He did wild and crazy things because he was stressed out and worried.

He lost money. Big time. He's at the point of bankruptcy.

Honestly, this is the reason I have a financial advisor. I can draft my own financial plan. I can figure out what to buy and sell. But I can't seem to control my own emotions. I need a rational person to bring me back to my plan, to remind me that the downturns are built into it, that this too shall pass.

Because if I don't, I start to trade on emotion and that ain't investing, it is gambling.

I'm going a little media crazy. Every channel on tv is talking about 2008, every blog post seems focused on the past. I don't care about 2008. Why? Because I'm looking forward to 2009 and I'm liking what I see.

What do I see?

Change.

Now, change, good or bad, is often scary. It means working outside comfort zones, reacting to new situations, testing out new skills. No doubt about it. Change is stressful.

But change creates opportunities and I'm thinking we're looking at once in a lifetime opportunities in 2009. Do I know what they are? I have hazy ideas of some but nothing I'd put down in a post. Plus I'm horrible at predictions (especially about which way the stock market will move).

That doesn't matter because the impossible task of predicting the future is not as important as recognizing opportunities when they come along. Keeping an eye out for them. Realizing that opportunities are often disguised as disasters (and we will have those in 2009 also, I guarantee it). Adjusting our systems, our resources, so we can run with the opportunities once they present themselves. Being flexible.

2009 is going to be a great year for building wealth.

2008 was a tough year for a lot of us. However, it also taught some valuable lessons. These lessons are only valuable if we remember and learn from them.

Here are my top 5 investment lessons learned in 2008…

1) Cash Flow Is King
When the market took a dumper, I was still getting paid dividends or distributions on some of my stocks. Although I was pretty much fully invested, I had investment and employment income to take advantage of the bargains in the market. On the other hand, buddies who needed cash had to sell during the lows. Big ouch.

2) Diversification Is Necessary
Some of the companies I owned cut or completely eliminated their dividends. That happens. Sometimes out of the blue. But by holding a few companies, I averaged out okay. I had income to pay for expenses (if I needed it) and didn't have to panic.

3) Do My Own Homework
My financial advisor talked me into a resource stock. I don't know anything about resource stocks. Being swamped with another project, I asked if the balance sheet was solid and was told yes. A few months later, the resource company got in a serious cash flow shortage. They cut dividends to nothing. I then looked at the balance sheet. It wasn't solid then and it certainly wasn't solid now. A junior jammer investor could have called the dividend cut. It was my own fault for not doing my own research. These are MY investments, MY responsibility. No shortcuts.

4) Once I Hear SEC Investigation, I Should Sell
The SEC doesn't take public announcements of investigations lightly. If they announce they are looking into a company, I should sell 'cause it is for darn certain they have a solid case. That happened with one of my stocks and I held on way too long. Finally sold it at a fraction of where it was on the day after the announcement.

5) I Suck At Calling A Bottom
Okay, I did know this before but it got pointed out to me once again this year. Every time I thought quality stocks couldn't get cheaper, they did. I don't regret buying in because with each buy, I felt I was getting a bargain, but… jeepers, it made me look like an idiot.

There are many, many more, but these are the ones that I feel will add most value to my portfolio going forward.

It has been 4 years since Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt broke up. 4 years. That's a long time (especially considering they were only together 7 years). Yet when you think of Jennifer Aniston, what comes to mind? That's right. The break up. And that is her doing. Although she has done other things (including posing almost nude in GQ), the break up remains her favorite interview topic (calling Angelina Jolie 'uncool'). She can't let it go.

We all know people like that. I know a thirty year old (plus) who still complains about not getting a cabbage patch doll when she was a kid. She brings it up at every family function. I love her dearly but when she goes on one of her rants, I politely leave the room. It is too painful and sad to watch, knowing that she always has a part of her brain dwelling on this 'injustice'.

It is a waste of precious brain space.

Now, I'm not saying she should forgive. Although healing, that is a personal decision and maybe, just maybe, the act was unforgivable (Jennifer Aniston clearly thinks the break up was).

What I suggest is forgetting, cramming as much 'doing' between you and the act that there is no time or energy for complaining. Ensuring that when people ask what you've been up to, you have so many interesting stories you don't have talk time for something that happened even a year ago.

This holiday season, give yourself the gift of forgetfulness. Leave that negativity behind you in 2008 when the calendar flips over. 2009 is going to be a GREAT year!

Photo Taken By
Noeluap
(Click on link for copyright information)

The holidays seemed to have crept up on quite a few of my buddies. They are, right now, scrambling for gifts. So I thought I would give some more holiday gift ideas, using the five love languages.

The five love languages completely changed my relationship with my loved ones. Learning that my sweetly demanding Mom-In-Law was an acts of service person saved our relationship. Knowing that every time she asked me to do something (usually something she could do herself) she was asking me if I loved her, helped me tolerate these additions to my already long to-do list.

Words Of Affirmation

My hubby is a words of affirmation person. He needs to hear 'I love you' about 30 times a day. It makes him happy. So with my hubby, the gifts aren't as important. However, the card is very, very, very important. He is one of the reasons I send out personal holiday cards. Because he really enjoys receiving cards. (Look at your holiday card list – those are all likely words of affirmation people – invest in those cards because by sending them you're telling them you love them) The more cards he receives, the more loved he feels. I also write something on every single gift.

Great gifts for words of affirmation people include books (with your inscription in the front), music (be aware of the lyrics because words people will listen to them closely), and of course, any type of writing. Spend extra time picking out and writing in their cards.

Quality Time

My big brother is a quality time person. When we all go to my mother's for the holidays, he always organizes a movie night out. That is his thing. All of us doing an event together. Quality time people often suggest going out for dinner instead of a gift exchange. There is no drop off of a gift and running, that will hurt their feelings.

Great gifts for quality time people include… well… any experience done together. You can give a gift certificate for dinner, shopping, a movie, but set a date to do this together. It may feel cheesy to invite yourself along to use the gift with them but remember, the true gift is the time together.

Receiving Gifts

My mom is a receiving gifts person. She is happiest when there is no room underneath the tree. My siblings and I know to buy large gifts and lots of them. The actual gift isn't as important as receiving a gift. Gifts people usually boast about their gifts (an easy way to spot them).

If you only have a short time to shop, spend it buying gifts for this group. Great gifts are unusual ones so they can tell everyone they received it (which is basically them telling everyone they are loved). This could be the hottest toy, a present from another country, or something they can wear. Do NOT give gift cards to gifts people. They will feel unloved.

Acts Of Service

My Mom-in-law is an acts of service person. Instead of asking for presents every year, she asks me to do things. This year, I not only wrapped presents but I bought presents for people on her list. Acts of service people ask you to do things, usually things they can just as easily do themselves.

It isn't about the gifts or the cards with acts of service people. It is about the time and effort taken. I'll talk about how it took hours of shopping and trips to multiple stores to find that gift. Acts of service people appreciate home-made. Baked cookies, hand knit scarves, anything that takes time.

Physical Touch

I'm a physical touch person. I went to a meeting of romance writers and one author gave me a hug. I tell you, I'd do anything for the woman, because in my mind, she told me she cared for me. Physical touch people are usually surrounded by tactile experiences, wood carvings, fluffy sweaters, silk carpets. It isn't politically correct to touch people nowadays so they are starved for it.

The best gift for a touch person is… well… a touch. A hand shake in a business environment, a hug in a personal. Other gifts include soft items like sweaters, leather gloves (especially for guys), books with raised title fonts (I LOVE those). Buy with your fingertips. If it feels great, the touch person will likely enjoy it.

Remember

The best way to tell people you love them is in a language THEY understand.

I'm in the middle of 3 sets of edits. I'm editing a novella for submission to my publisher, I'm editing a full length novel I just got back from my pre-editor, and I’m completing the 11th full revision of my February release, Invisible (a romance about identity theft).

You read that right… 11th.

And I have at least 2 more rounds of edits to do before Invisible is published. The thing is… this isn't unusual. For any author. It isn't unusual for New York Times Bestselling authors, folks that write for a living. That is all they do professionally, write. And they require 13 rounds of edits with at least 3 different editors.

Why am I telling you this?

Because if you read The Toilet Paper Entrepreneur's list of the biggest entrepreneurial mistakes, you'll see proof reading errors come up time and time again. Costly errors on marketing information, on contracts, on lease agreements.

If a professional writer needs 3 sets of edits, 13 rounds of edits, you should filter every important document (including business cards or the text on your promo pens or…) you write, read, or sign through at least one other person. Preferably choose the most nitpicky person you know. That anal retentive person who normally drives you up the wall. The more important the document, the more people you should ask to look at it.

A misplaced comma could cost you.

During the holidays, the hubby's workplace organizes daily snacks. Each day, a couple employees bring in snacks for the group. My hubby, being male and frugal, wondered the very first year if he should participate.

The simple answer?
Yes.

Why You Should Participate
This is viewed by management as a team and morale building event. Morale building is usually the domain of management. This is one instance where it is not so take advantage of it. If you want to be promoted into management (or are already in management), you should participate.

You SHOULDN'T organize it though. Especially if you're female. Organizing potlucks or food type events is traditionally an executive assistant's job. Organize a potluck and you'll find yourself slotted into that category.

What To Bring
I like to bring in an item that contradicts any negative view held. I'm often seen as a very businesslike person, sometimes cold, always tough, so I bring in something I baked or cooked (my two bite brownies – the recipe at the end of this post). This softens up my image a bit (and it is the holidays, a softer image is acceptable). The hubby is seen as overly frugal so he brings in something bought and higher end (decadent chocolate truffles).

Aim for an item in the range everyone else's is in (especially the executives). Too much and you look like you can't handle your own budget, not to mention the company's. Too little and you look like Scrooge.

What To Do With Your Item
You drop it off to the organizers. That's it. You don't fuss or hover around it. You don't want to give the impression that you have nothing better to do. If coworkers know you're busy and you brought something in anyway, it scores more points.

That means, of course, you need a simple item. Something not requiring special preparation or display. That also means disposable everything. You don't want to have to ask for the dishes back.

Two Bite Brownies
Makes 24 Mini Muffin Cup Servings
(I used mini muffin cups because it makes serving easy and looks
fancy).

1/2 cup melted butter
1 cup white sugar
2 eggs
1/2 cup all purpose flour
1/3 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1/4 teaspoon salt (or simply use salted butter)
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1. Preheat your oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C for our Cdn
friends). Grease and flour your pans if you're not using non-stick.

2. In a medium bowl, beat together the butter and sugar. Add eggs
and mix well. Combine the flour, cocoa, and salt (if you're not using
salted butter). Stir that into the sugar and egg mixture. Mix in the
vanilla. Spread in the unlined mini muffin cups.

3. Bake for about 15 minutes or until the edges are firm and there
are no moist spots in the middle (check your oven, mine bakes in about
7 minutes). Cool, pop out of the cups, and eat, I mean serve.

Variations - add nuts if you're going high end.
If you want to get all Martha Stewart, place a doily over top and
sprinkle with icing sugar to make a design.

I received an email this weekend by a former manager. The company he was working for, one I had previously worked for, was downsizing. He had to eliminate a staff position. The employee filling that position was doing a marvelous job, the job simply was redundant.

So the manager contacted me, asking if I knew of any positions open. It turned out I knew a recruiter desperately looking for the exact skills the employee had. I immediately put the two in contact with each other. The recruiter was happy. The employee was relieved. The manager felt less guilt.

The irony is…

A decade ago, this company downsized me.

I was a real life example to this employee that there was life after downsizing (a darn good life). Because the manager had the guts to stay in contact with me after my own downsizing, he added yet another contact to his contact list. He laid me off (actually the V-P did), a decade later, I helped him out.

That is rare but it doesn't have to be.

So what do you do if a (liked) coworker is laid off?

1) Give Her Your Personal Business Card
You have those right? A business card with your personal contact information on them (mine have my name, my email address, my phone number and that's it)? When a coworker is being walked out, you haven't much time. A personal business card makes it easy and fast to transfer information. If you know major layoffs are coming down the pipe, pass them out before hand to anyone you want to stay into contact with.

2) Contact Her During Business Hours
Laid off workers feel isolated. They are accustomed to working 9-5 so that is when your calls or emails will be most appreciated. She might be grumpy or resentful or even angry but she will appreciate the contact. Believe me. Very, very few people contacted me. They supposedly didn't want to 'bother' me. I personally think they were chicken sh**s, lost respect for them, and crossed them off my own contact list.

3) Contact Recruiters On Her Behalf
We all have headhunters we like to work with and have cultivated. This is the time to be generous and share these treasured resources. I ask the laid off coworker if I can forward her email or phone number and then I quietly do. I tell the recruiter she can mention my name but I don't re-contact the laid off coworker and say "hey, Sally, this is what I did." Let the coworker revel in the confidence boost coming from strangers calling her about jobs. She doesn't need to know I contacted 20 headhunters for her to get that 1 call.

BTW… despite the gloom and doom marinade the media is basting us with, there ARE companies hiring. Be hopeful.

My executive assistant on this recent placement is pregnant. A great employee before her pregnancy, she bungled juggling pregnancy and working so badly that if her permanent boss, a reasonable man, could fire her without worry of a lawsuit, he would. As it is, he’s waiting until after she comes back from leave.

And most of her coworkers (especially her female coworkers) would side with her boss.

So let’s go over some ground rules for balancing a career and pregnancy…
Warning: I’m basing these rules on the ‘real’ working world, not the perfect world we wish it was.

When To Tell Your Manager

Back in the day, there was the three month rule. It was considered ‘bad luck’ to share your good news before then. I think that had to do with the first three months being extremely risky in a pregnancy. It is still a great rule for today.

Why wait the three months (or longer but once you start showing, you’ll have to tell)? Because like it or not, once you announce your pregnancy, you won’t be considered promotable (until you come back and show you’re committed to the company) and you won’t be put on any high profile or long projects.

Some reasons to tell earlier would be if impending layoffs were coming (due to possible lawsuits, employers are less likely to lay off pregnant workers) or if the pregnancy is seriously interfering with doing your job (i.e. you throw up at the smell of coffee).

Whom To Tell First

At the job? Your manager. Not HR (no asking about maternity benefits – human resource employees are hands down, on average, the biggest gossips in the company), not your best buddy, not the receptionist who recently came back from maternity leave, not even the cafeteria lady. People have big mouths, especially when it comes to happy baby news. Word will get back to your boss and he/she will be hurt and freaked out.

How To Tell Your Manager

Most women simply waltz into their manager’s office, announce ‘I’m pregnant,’ tell him/her when the baby is due and expect the manager to handle everything.

Then they wonder why the boss isn’t thrilled.
The best way to share the news is to draft up a coverage plan while you’re home with the baby. One of my best buddies printed out a list of all her responsibilities. She had names of the people she could cross train beside those tasks. She had talked to a temp agency and figured out how much a replacement ‘her’ would cost. She volunteered to hire and train that person.

She came back to a promotion.

Why? Because she showed she could plan. She showed she was committed to the organization. She showed she could handle an ‘emergency.’ She also hired a temp who (like I am) was happy to be a temp, and not someone gunning for her job.

Common Mistakes Made

Assuming You Won’t Come Back

A cousin of mine planned to never come back from maternity leave. She spent the nine months at work goofing off, coming in late, and dumping work on others (her co-workers hated her, especially the young women who planned to have a career after their future pregnancies). She didn’t care. Her hubby had a great job. She planned to be a stay at home mom.

Then half way through her leave, her hubby got laid off.

The company took her back but the working environment was hostile and the first chance her manager got, he got rid of her.

Things change. Work like you are coming back.

Asking For A Raise Or Promotion

My previous placement had a very generous maternity leave. The compensation was based on a percent of current pay. So the executive assistant asked for a raise.

Major mistake.

You see, unless you’re superwoman, being pregnant is going to affect your job performance. Maybe you vomit at the smell of coffee. Maybe you have to go to the bathroom in the middle of an important sales call. Maybe you’re irritable and snap at co-workers or you’re tired and nod off during long speeches made by the VP of Finance. Maybe everyone is excited about the baby and wants to talk to you all day, interfering with your work.

Bosses understand that. They accept that. They look the other way.

Unless you force them to document it.

Then the boss doesn’t have a choice. All raises and promotions have to be justified. Bosses have to go to bat for you, standing up in front of execs (including that VP of Finance whose speech you slept through) to pitch your case. That means they need facts. They document. They interview that co-worker you recently snapped at. You see where I’m going?

And that gets put in your permanent file.

Complaining

Yes, I know your back hurts and your feet are swelling but did YOU know that Ted, your coworker, took on yet another project, pulling an allnighter so you could go home on time? He quietly gave up time with his own kids so you could have an easier pregnancy. It is simple math. If you worked 24-7 before your pregnancy, and are now going home at a reasonable time, while spending most of your day training, someone is doing that leftover work.

Plus complaining at work is never good. It makes you sound incompetent (because if you could handle it, you wouldn’t be complaining about it) and no one likes to be around negative people.

Not Staying In The Loop

Most businessgals have remote access. It makes sense, especially if you wish to return to that position, to keep up with emails and voicemail while you’re on leave. That doesn’t mean every day (bonding with baby is very important), but checking in once a week is perfectly appropriate. You don’t have to get deeply involved or do the work yourself. Consider yourself a consultant. Simply send emails like “Have you thought about this as a possible solution?” It shows you can add value to the organization, even while off (this might set you up for a possible work from home arrangement). It also smoothes the transition to back to work.

Waiting To Figure Out Daycare

In some places, the waiting list for premium daycares is nine months long. The sooner you can figure the post baby childcare situation out, the better. Many of my buddies settled the daycare question before the baby arrived. This big decision done reassured their employers and allowed the new moms to focus on their newborns.

Trying To Keep The Status Quo

You’re only pregnant for nine months. You can slow down. If you act professionally, your career will not only survive but thrive. After all, you’ll now be part of one of the biggest demographics in the world… mothers.

Besides my book, of course (you can now order a signed and personalized copy – a perfect way to tell that fellow businessgal you believe in her).

Gotta get a shameless plug in. Keep my publisher happy.

What NOT To Give Her

Lets start off by talking about what NOT to give her.
Most of this advice is geared towards our male readers because, lets face it, they’re the ones likely to get the present terribly, terribly wrong.

Anything That Really Benefits You.
If she’s the default chef (i.e. she cooks to keep the family alive and has no long lost dreams of becoming a professional chef), don’t get her kitchen stuff. Well, you can. Just not as a present. And don’t expect a thank you. That’s why we women tell toaster jokes.

Something Another Girl Told You To Buy.
I remember the hubby threatening to give me jewelry one year. I don’t wear a lot of jewelry. The few pieces I do wear, I wear every day and because it means something to me (like my wedding band). I asked him where he got that bright idea and he, quite honestly, said a bunch of girls (I didn’t know) told him he should buy it. Yep, he was going to let shameless work hussies pick out my gift. Not cool. Not cool at all. (Note: The exception to this is if the girl telling you what to buy is the businessgal’s best friend)

A Ring Box Shaped Gift For A Long Time Girlfriend.
They may be the most beautiful (and expensive) earrings on the planet but if she is expecting an engagement ring, you’ll get a tearstained toaster to the head.

Reminders Of Alternate Paths Not Taken.
Moms love to give this present. They give How To Find Mr. Right books to their newlywed daughters. A book of baby names for a career focused, single woman. When I got laid off from Coca-Cola, a well meaning sister gave me Coke memorabilia. I had collected the stuff before the lay off but after the lay off, it made me cry. About a decade later, it is still stuffed in the back of cabinets (too painful even to sell on eBay).

A New Hobby.
If she is as busy as most businessgals I know, she hasn’t the time. She doesn’t have time to do what is on her current wish list. It’ll only make her feel guilty. If I get another craft to do, I’ll scream. I immediately regift those to a craft loving sister.

Clothes That Don’t Fit.
Unless you are sure of her size, don’t buy clothes. If that sweater is too big, she’ll think you see her as that size. If the sweater is too small, she’ll feel fat. If you absolutely must give her clothes, go with a one size fits all choice. A scarf. Or mittens. Or a hat.

Whew… so those are the biggies. No sense wasting your money on that stuff.

What To Give Her

This list is in order of difficulty. The nice thing is that many of the gifts she WILL cherish don’t cost money.

Make Her Life Beautiful

Odds are your businessgal has almost everything she needs already. One angle is to make that everything a bit more beautiful. Does she travel? Get her a beautiful leather passport holder. I love mine and I drool over others. I recently saw one in the softest red leather. Delicious! Does she work with a lot of paper? What about those colorful paper clips? They always make me happy. There are some gorgeous memory sticks out there. Real works of art. There are upgrades for everything she is currently using.

BTW... if you give her the item with a casual "Yeah, I figured a beautiful woman like you deserved to be surrounded by beautiful things," you'll be awarded bonus marks.

Free Up Her Time

You can also make her life a bit less busy. Gift certificates for her favorite takeout restaurant (a nice way of telling her she shouldn't feel guilty about not cooking). Home made gift certificates for meals you make. A house cleaning service. Boy, oh, boy, I’d love it if my hubby gave me that. But he won’t because he insists he can do it himself for less. If your loved one is a blogger, do a pile of research on her blog topic for her. Send her summaries and links. Spend the time so she doesn’t have to.

You Never’s

Ever gotten in an argument because you never….? Well, simply do it (and DON'T complain about it. Nothing squashes appreciation quicker than having to listen to someone whine. She'll KNOW you made the sacrifice.). If she thinks you never listen, spend a day listening and repeating back what she said (paraphrasing so you don’t get irritating). You never take her to the opera? Take her to the opera.

If it is a soft 'you never' (like listening), this wouldn’t be a core gift (i..e. you should supplement it with something) and you shouldn’t even mention that you’re giving it to her, but boy, will it put her in a good mood.

And you never know, you might like it so much the ‘you never’ becomes a ‘you always.’

Make Her Dreams Come True

We all have heroes. You can become one of her heroes by putting her in contact with someone she respects and admires but has never 'met'. Maybe contact a big wig in the industry (someone she gets stars in her eyes when she mentions his/her name) and arrange a cyber (or even better – live) interview. If she’s shy, you do the interviewing while she sits in.

Show that you ‘get’ her dreams by assisting her with them. I wasn’t quite sure if the hubby supported my romance writing dreams until he gave me an annual membership to the Romance Writers Of America. Then I KNEW he was on board.

Notice something about these lists? The ‘what not to give’ list is all about you. The ‘what to give’ list is all about her. If you keep that simple thinking in mind, you won’t go too wrong (and if you do, at the very least, you can explain your thinking).

Because lunch is plopped right in the middle of regular working hours, it is a natural time to do business. There are rules, however, for making these lunches work.

In September's Men's Health, Gil Schwartz covers the top 8 rules for business lunches.

1. Cancel No More Than Three Times

Actually if someone cancels on me more than twice, I no longer 'pencil them in' for lunch. If I can make an effort, they should be able to also.

2. Always Make A Reservation

You'll look like a fool showing up at a booked solid restaurant. It says you don't have planning skills.

3. Suck Up To the Maitre D'

Not necessarily tipping them but being genuinely nice. That's often enough. Remember the Maitre D' decides where you sit. You want to sit with the big boys and girls.

4. Know When Not To Order Appetizers

As Gil Schwartz says "At your average establishment, they can add 20 minutes to the meal. This means that no matter how much you like the lobster bisque, you do not order an appetizer if you are with somebody you can't tolerate for longer than 75 minutes."

5. Order What You Want

If the men at the table are all eating red meat and you want the salad, order the salad.

6. Discuss The Agenda

When? If you have a lot to talk about, start talking when your meal arrives. Business during lunch is lighter. It's verbal. It's relationship building. That means no pen and paper, no laptop. When you get back to the office, you can send an email clarifying what you think you heard and what you believe you agreed upon.

7. Plan Your Escape

If you only have a limited time to spend at lunch, say so. Tell your lunch companions you have a one o'clock meeting.

8. Figure Out Who's Paying

Assume it is you.

I was watching this informercial with Brad Sugars interviewing Jay Conrad Levinson, the father of guerrilla marketing.

What does Jay have to say about these tough economic times?

"And yet, in very ugly economic situation, some people lose a fortune but some people make a fortune and the ones who make a fortune are the ones who know how to market in tough times."

"During tough times, some people think 'oh, I'll cut back on my marketing to save money' which is like saying 'in order to save time, I'll stop my watch.'

What to do? The emphasis is on DO.

"Marketing and succeeding in business is not a spectator sport."

You have to take action.

Jay suggests looking at what you already have
- increasing the size of each transaction
- increasing the number of transactions per customer,
and
- tapping into referrals from existing customers.

In my market, I was part of a team to first bring character based marketing to the juice box segment. They were fruit characters with a number of occupations, a rock star apple, a soccer playing orange, a video game playing grape. Yes, we could have used a real rock star, a real soccer play, a real video gamer, but we wanted to build a timeless trio. We were also wary of linking our kid based brand to real people with real problems (everyone has problems).

There were some lessons learned from the test markets. The biggest one is that while girls may buy boy or girl characters, boys will only buy boy characters. The woman in me might have riled at how sexist that was but the businesswoman knew in order to maximize profits, we had to launch all male characters.

Why did we decide upon fruit? Well, that was an easy choice. The fruit characters represented the juice flavors. We also lucked out because fruit is a variety of primary colors (kids love primary colors – I don't know why so many parents paint kid bedrooms in pastels).

If you're thinking of creating a character to represent your company, there was a great article in Entrepreneur talking more about it.

One of my loves is new product development. Now, you would think new product development is all about the future. That's why it is called new. Au contraire. Successful product developers have a healthy knowledge of the past. They know why some products worked and why some products didn't. Knowing all this ups the (very slim) odds of the new product working.

The best book I've ever read on the history of product development (especially consumer product goods) is What Were They Thinking? from Robert M. McMath. This was first published a decade ago but all the lessons still apply today (plus it is a history book – history books don't often become dated). McMath studied over 80,000 new products, both the wins and losses.

One of the many gems? People usually don't buy products that remind them of their shortcomings. An example? Baby boomers and older don't want to be reminded they are older. They prefer to buy youth creams rather than anti-aging formulas. Anti-aging reminds boomers they are aging. Exactly what they don’t want. Overweight people want to buy slimming pills, not fat reducing pills. A small difference in wording makes a big difference in sales.

Another? Don't sell 'ice cubes to cocker spaniels.' McMath talks about smokeless cigarettes. Smokeless cigarettes make non-smokers happy. The problem is… non-smokers don't buy cigarettes. It sounds simple but why then are there hybrid Escalades? The average person buying an Escalade isn't interested in saving the environment. They revel in the decadence of an Escalade.

After a month of delays, I finally secured a start date on the new contract for this Friday (why Friday instead of Monday? I have no idea but I'm not going to argue with it). Finding this out yesterday after the free-falling on the markets made reactions to my news quite interesting.

No, I'm not going back to work because of the losses in my portfolio (and yes, I had losses, I don’t know many investors who didn't). And it isn't even because I'm scrambling for more cash to invest (there are some real deals out there, REITs selling for less than their liquidation prices) though that was a nice perk.

I'm going back to work because after 4.5 months at home, I'm going buggy. I should be writing my third novel (actually it is a novella) but haven't any interest in it. I want to get back to business. I'm looking forward to it.

I'm currently organizing a promotion for one of my writing blogs. I'm contacting 61 authors, asking for holiday themed excerpts. These 61 authors run the range from an author with her first book out at a small press (like me) to a household name New York Times Bestselling author.

You know what?

The NYT Bestselling authors were easier to deal with. They respond with a yes or no immediately. They forward their information in a timely basis with no need for follow up. They are professional and pleasant. They care for their fans.

While I almost had to beg the smaller authors to respond, the bestselling authors volunteered extras such books to give away.

I attended a round table with Sean Parker (Founder Of Facebook), Jimmy Wales (Founder of Wikipedia), and Seth Godin (marketing guru) in January. All three agreed that customers value having a direct relationship with companies. Email allows them to do this easily, and as Parker pointed out, they are "so happy to get a response."

Small companies can do this and often can do this better than large companies. Their email responses can be chatty and personal, unique to that customer, putting a human face on the company. It is a big advantage we have. Don't squander it.

There was a brilliant article about business succession planning in the October issue of MoneySense. It revolved around Thomas Deans' new book Every Family's Business. Deans is a fourth generation family business owner. The difference is… each generation started their own businesses.

We all know the dismal stats behind family businesses. Only 30% pass successfully to the second generation and 10% to the third. Deans' family figured 'why fight those odds?' They practice the start and sell philosophy. They build businesses with the goal to sell them upon the founder's retirement.

That doesn't mean the second generation can't buy the business. It merely means that they will have to buy it at fair market value (i.e. want it enough to pay full pop). Of course, because they can be booted out of the business at any time, family members have to ensure their own skills and talents remain marketable (SO important, I've talked a bit in the past about this).

Does this create more tension between generations? No, actually it creates less. Siblings aren't trying to compete against each other in order to 'win' the business. They know whoever gets it, will pay full price.

Deans reminds us that "the family business should never become more important to the family."

I completely agree.

The starving artist is a label some wear with pride. Painters, musicians, writers feel the less saleable their art is, the more pure it is.

Here's the thing about saleable. Saleable means someone values an item enough to pay for it. The more valuable a patron feels your art is, the more they'll pay to own it. In contrast, if you can't sell your art, it usually means no one wants it. Who wants to produce something no one wants? Why would that be something to be proud of?

But… But… But… true artists don't "sell out", you argue.

Really?

Do you consider Blues Legend B.B. King a true artist? Well, by this narrow (and broke a$$) definition, he'd be a sell out.

In an interview with Spirit Magazine, he says

"In my early teens, I would sit on the street corners and play gospel songs. People would listen, applaud, pat me on the head, and tell me, "You'll be good one day." But they never tipped. When I played a blues song, though, they always tipped. Always. That's when I knew I wanted to play the blues."

Why did they tip? I'm guessing because the music moved them. They valued the experience enough to voluntarily pay for it.

Photo Taken By Jack O'Diamonds. See Link for copyright information.

My mom tells me that as a child, I was ugly as sin (my dark hair would fall out in patches for some reason) but I was always smiling and laughing so folks would comment on how cute I was. I was happy even during the dirt poor, not eating every day years and I'm still a happy person today.

An article by Daren Fonda shares that the wealthier are happier (due to the freedom money brings) and healthier than the average person.

I firmly believe happy people are happy people and miserable people are miserable people no matter what the wealth level.

However, having more money means when disasters strike, there is a faster rebound to happy.

Look at the dear folks in New Orleans (one of my favorite cities in the world). When Gustav was only a baby storm, the wealthy flew out of town and had the luxury of staying at hotels or other homes without worrying about the expense. They worried for a couple minutes, spent money to solve that worry, and returned to their happy state.

The low net worth folks had no transportation options other than the buses supplied right before the storm hit. They had to weigh staying and risking death against leaving and incurring bills they couldn't pay for. Even when they were safe from Gustav, they worried. They worry today.

I have a loved one thinking about returning to work after a medical crisis because he can't afford to stay home. He shouldn't be working. He should be recovering. Lack of money will mean he'll be ill longer.

Does money buy happiness? No. But it removes some of the barriers to happiness.

Gerry Myers has a great article on how to negotiate with women. I especially love the section 'If you want my money, don't call me honey.'

Now, I don't mind endearments. I use them myself. You can even use them in a professional capacity. I know many executive assistants who call everyone dear. HOWEVER, and this is a big however (hence the caps – grinning), they call everyone that. Male or female.

If you would (and do) use the same endearment with a male colleague (and use them with the male colleagues in front of me before using them with me), then go for it. But if you're only using it with me (and especially in that condescending little woman tone), don't. Whether you are male or female. Doesn't matter.

IF you want to get our business. I'm building an elite club of advanced readers for my romance novels. I deliberately make my email approaches casual. If recipients get insulted, they're not good candidates for the club. Yeah, I'm screening them. I want people with a sense of humor. No grumpy grumps in this club.

Of course, once you build up trust and a relationship, almost anything goes. Well, when you're alone. When you're with other less familiar business associates, it is back to formal.

Simple Dollar had an interesting article on whether or not women need separate financial advice. Trent hinged his article on men preferring math and women being more touchy-feely.

That gets a big grrrrr… from me for reinforcing (wrong) stereotypes.

But I DO think women have special financial concerns. Usually (not always) we are the spouse taking time off while raising kids, getting the kids in the case of divorce, there are more unwed single female parents than male, we live longer, we are usually the ones taking care of aging parents, we work full time less and part time more, etc. etc.

In other words, we have different lifestyle concerns. I can do math, thank you very much. I know my financial ratios and what that means to the stock I'm evaluating. That's quite simple.

What I need to know is how to build my business, invest for my future, all while providing for my aging mother (we're all aging – she is simply ahead of me in the process).

So we don't need another The Intelligent Investor for women. Benjamin Graham's classic serves well enough for both sexes.

Every day I read about real estate 'bargains' across the country. Las Vegas has brand new properties listed at 50% or more off highs. Some homes in Detroit are selling for a dollar.

It is tempting, very, very tempting.

But my mamma has a saying
'Elephants selling 2 for a dollar is only a bargain if you need 2 elephants and you have a dollar.'

How could you go wrong buying a home for a dollar? It isn't really selling for a dollar. It is selling for a dollar plus back taxes. The home is also little more than a plot of land. Thieves have made off with everything including the insulation between the walls. Buyers will likely have to demolish and start from scratch. Then there is the headache of needing security on the build site to ensure the new materials don't get teefed.

Then you have to think to yourself… if homes around it are selling for a dollar and the street is crime-ful, who is going to buy the new home and what will they pay for it?

I'm not saying these houses aren't great deals. They can be. Simply don't jump in without doing your research and having an action plan.

Actually, that's a good investment policy ALWAYS.

Don't let the bargains make you sloppy. Tight investing always outperforms sloppy investing.

Rob Bennett in Passion Saving suggests using the income from long term savings to pay for short term goals. But what if you don't have a long term goal? What if your brain is empty of all goals (as mine sometimes shockingly is)? What do you do?

No worries! He gives us the multiply-by-25 rule. Take any annual expense and multiply it by 25. That is how much you need to save to cover that expense for life.

Say you're a crazy Kimber Chin fan (grinning – you'd have to be crazy). I write two novels a year. They sell for $6.00. That is $12.00 a year to buy everything I write. Multiply that by 25 and you should save $300 to cover that expense for life. Yep, you can read everything I ever wrote forever! What a happy day (for both you and me)!

Seriously… the hubby and I do this all the time. We'll sock away $200 in an investment paying 10%. That $20 is a breakfast for the two of us every year in Paris. It is a concrete goal. Not some airy fairy save X amount type of goal. We can see, touch, and, in this case, taste it.

Unfortunately, most people will not pick up this book based on the title alone. The S word no one likes. The people who truly value the innovative financial thinking it holds will walk on by. It is a shame because it is a great book, a great return on the cover price.

Rob Bennett in Passion Saving has my view on saving (well, I like to call it investing 'cause saving invokes pictures of bank accounts and interest). It is not about the saving, it is about the spending.

As he writes

"Passion Saving is a two-sided coin. On one side is the phrase 'Saving Without Sacrifice.' Turn it over and the stamped inscription reads 'Spending Without Guilt.'"

I know as long as we have our investments tucked away for the long term, we can happily spend the rest. There is no guilt. There are no should's. We've been responsible, taking care of ourselves. We can be carefree about the rest (within reason).

I do the same with my writing. During my summers at home, I have an allocation of one chapter a day (freshly written or edited). When I finish that chapter, any at home time is mine to do with what I wish (watch Oprah, market my latest novel, watch my stocks go up and down). If I finish at 9 am (there must have been a miracle), I have the whole day. If I finish at midnight (more likely – staring at the screen until my eyes bleed), I don't have any time.

Worry is a killer (an uncle recently had surgery due to his worrying). If you're worrying about money, do something about it. Put an amount away and forget about that worry.

I'm a financial gal at heart. When I'm in a rush for contract gigs, that is the skill set I explore first. There is always demand for great financial folk, in the good times and the bad.

Especially in the bad. In the bad, when everyone else is seeing a salary pull back, great financial folks have their salaries bid up. Why? Because companies are in financial trouble and you are expected to help stop the pain.

However, as a contract girl, I know that is only a short term financial windfall. Once the economy recovers, my charge out rate will settle back into more reasonable levels. I know my charge out rate from gig to gig will change.

Many full time employees don't realize how sensitive their jobs are to outside pressures. Passion Saving by Rob Bennett is one of the very rare books addressing this. He points out that the big job money is in specialization. Since the demand for specialization fluctuates, so does the salary companies are willing to grant.

In other words, we're each like a stock. Me, Inc, he calls the company. What the market is willing to pay (remember Warren Buffett's irrational Mr. Market?) goes up and down.

Yeah, I know, scary thought, isn't it? And like most stocks, your price can go to zero. That is what is happening with some autoworkers right now. Their car building skills aren't in demand at all. The salary other employers are willing to pay for those skills is zero.

What does that mean? Well, as you wouldn't put all your money on one stock, so shouldn't you put all your future earnings on one skill or one stream of income. That is where investing comes in. It provides that extra stream of income.

Every second week, I share with you a financial or business book I've been reading. I read a few a week so I pick the best of the best (or at least the most innovative of the best – the books filled with something new to talk about). This week, that book is Passion Saving By Rob Bennett.

We all know we should be saving more. I save and even I should be saving more. But saving, especially for the long term, is difficult, isn't it? If you're 20 (I wish) and you plan to retire at 65, well, who cares about that? That's 45 years from now.

However, if you're 20 and you want to go to Europe for your 21st birthday, THAT saving is quite a bit easier. Why? Because it is short term. It is happening soon. You can get excited about it.

So Rob's clever solution is to save for the long term (retirement) but use the cash flow (dividends, rental income if you're a real estate investor, interest) to pay for short term goals.

Yeah, I told you it was clever. Short term goals, long term goals, short term rewards, long term rewards.

Of course, faithful readers know that if that was the only brilliant idea in this 248 page book, I wouldn't be talking about it this week. It wouldn't be worth the cover price. BUT there is more, much more than I'll be able to cover.

I'm happily shopping the back to school sales.

Am I going back to school? Nope. Do I have kids going back to school? Nope. But most of the supplies I need for my home business, paper, binders (I LOVE my binders – project management training), highlighters, you name it, is on sale. There are loss leaders (selling at deep discounts) at almost every major store.

This process is even easier for me because I know parents shopping these same sales. I simply ask so and so, 'could you pick up an extra highlighter for me?' That saves hassle (they're going there anyway) and gas money.

Note: If you're thinking of buying some classic toys (like Barbies, Tonka toys) for Christmas, keep an eye on the discounts now. I find there are very few clearance quality toys after September 1st. I do all my shopping for toy drives during the slower summer.

On this blog, I often talk about being financially responsible, about delaying gratification, about cutting unnecessary costs. However, every once in a while, you need to remind yourself that money is a tool.

My mother wants to visit my sister in Australia. She doesn't have the savings to do this. She WILL have the savings (so she says) in five years. But in five years, she likely won't have the health to do the long trip. It might be difficult for her to do it this year.

Financially, it makes sense to wait. Realistically, it doesn't. I advised she use her credit cards and go (knowing I'll be the one eventually paying off those credit cards).

A loved one is ill. We weren't planning to travel to see him. I had planned to go back to a business gig (I'm VERY much looking forward to), saving the money for an additional upcoming expense.

Financially, it makes sense to delay the trip. Emotionally, it is crucial we go. We're going.

We're not talking about 'should I buy a sports car?' or 'should I buy that designer dress?' trivial type of decisions. We're talking about 'if I don't do this, I'll regret it the rest of my life' decisions. Money is only a tool to give you the life you want.

Did you know that 68% of baby boomers with kids are supporting an adult child financially?

Yeah, scary, isn't it? Raising children, like growing wealth, is a long term thing. Even if your children are ankle biters right now, their financial education is a worth while investment.

My mom being single and having six kids is one of the 32% without a child living at home, that despite her having a free second bedroom and many of my siblings working low income jobs. How did she do it?

Child Labor

Okay, not really child labor though having a recreational farm (i.e. we ate everything we grew), we worked from birth. I was talking to my hairdresser on Monday and she boosted that her teenage kids didn't have to work. She's not doing them any favors by bankrolling them. Not only does it not teach them money management skills (you naturally manage money you work for tighter than 'gifts'), but you make them less competitive upon college graduation.

In most white collar jobs, a degree is considered a minimum requirement. Everyone interviewing has one. What sets an applicant apart is work experience. I've talked to hiring buddies. They won't touch an 18 year old applicant with no prior work experience. They figure he/she doesn't have a strong work ethic. They also say managing these 'spoiled' kids is more pain than it is worth.

Cutting The Allowance

My mom had to minimize our allowances. She didn't have the money to do otherwise. However, a great side effect was there was a large incentive to work and to budget with any and all money. When money flows like water, it makes no sense monitoring or working for it.

The House Tax

My mom would charge us 10% of all income (including our allowances). She did it out of necessity but it did send a strong message that we were expected to contribute to the household. This house tax made it a bit easier to pay the rent 'tax' and the mortgage 'tax' later on.

Contributing

My hubby was in no rush to leave his parents' home. In fact, a brother of his still lives at home. Why wouldn't he? It is rent free AND he isn't expected to contribute at all to the workload. He doesn’t even cut the grass. Believe me, if you want your future daughter or son-in-law to hate you with a passion, do everything for your little darling. My mother-in-law thinks she's being kind. Really, she's denying them life skills (my hubby didn't know how to use an ATM card or pay a bill when we got married).

Letting Them Make Mistakes

Allowing kids to contribute and to handle their own financial matters naturally means allowing them to make mistakes. We all make mistakes. No one does everything perfectly the first time around. That isn't usually an issue. We DO need to learn how to learn from mistakes and how to recover from them. Wouldn't it be nice to be there to assist when they DO make these mistakes? Let them get a credit card when they're living at home, then work with them on how to manage that credit card.

Will doing all this mean you won't have a boomerang kid? No. Things happen. Medical emergencies and other personal disasters can trip up everyone. But it does assist you in raising great adults. Remember your goal as a parent is NOT to raise a good kid. It is to raise a great adult.

You know those quizzes in Cosmo? Is your relationship normal? Does your man have long term potential?

Well, guys may not like to take those quizzes but they sure like to read the results. In every issue of Men's Health, there is some sort of survey about what women like or don't like. The hubby usually grills me on the answers to see if I'm 'normal' (like the women who fill out surveys for Men's Health are).

The latest topic was what financial habits women find sexy. Included was the biggest money turnoffs.

The top 3 were;
Wearing too-obvious logos
Referencing the bottom line
And
Clipping discount coupons.

Totally agree on the first two.

For one obvious reason. We're not stupid. No one needs to pound us over the head with that information. It's called trying too hard and that is not appealing.

Most women can recognize well made vs sloppily made clothes. We don't need a name splashed across a chest or a tie to help us. I can spot an expensive tie or suit across the room. I can also usually spot whether the man belongs with that suit or not.

We can also glean a pretty good idea about your financial standing by how you spend money. My hubby, although he would spend the money, always checked over the bill. He had cash in his wallet when he opened it up to pay but he also kept the receipt. He didn't order the most expensive item on the menu but he didn't look at the prices first. Those are all wealth building habits.

About the third… clipping discount coupons. I'm thinking the reason this is on the list is because, well, I can't remember the last time I used a coupon at a 'date worthy' restaurant. My first date with the now hubby was at a restaurant validating parking (I remember that vividly because I was impressed he took the time to research it – that told me, he looked forward to the date).

In three weeks, I'll be shedding the daytime pajamas (my writing uniform), donning the business suits, and heading back to a contract gig. I'm glad for it. I love writing but it is such brain sucking, taxing work (not financially taxing as I'm not yet making a profit but mentally taxing) plus honestly, I love the business game. I can't imagine leaving it permanently.

Anyhoo…

Business Hour Restricted Appointments

Just as I prepare for summers 'off' writing, I also prepare to go back to the contract gigs. On my to do list (besides cutting my hair as I go shaggy 70's artist style during the summer) is getting all those government and business hour restricted tasks done. I need to get a new passport. I should go to the dentist (yuck). Anything I'd normally have to take a day or lunch hour off to do, I do.

Outsourcing Tasks And Responsibilities

Our household is fairly low maintenance so there aren't a lot of tasks I do during the summers I can't continue to do during business gigs. Some of my girlfriends have more to arrange, especially those with children (child care) or pets (walking Rover at lunch so he doesn't pee all over the floor).

Meal Preparation

When I'm working business gigs, the hubby and I usually eat stir-fries. With the end of season veggies now plentiful and inexpensive, I buy and chop them up, making my own mixed veggie freezer bags. I'll cut up meat into strips, freezing that in a separate bag. On busy work nights, I'll grab a bag of each, add sauce, cook and serve over rice. Easy, fast, and if planned ahead for, economical.

Job Search Ramp Up

Of course, there is the usual job search prep work. I update my resume (actually I update that after every contract gig). I touch base with my references. I get current on issues relating not only to my specific profession but to the related industries. I'll take a crash online (looking for free) refresher course.

And I gather up reading material for that 4 hour a day commute. Expect to see more book reviews because I'll be reading (until I fall asleep on that stranger's shoulder).

By now, most of us are a little sick of hearing of the law of attraction (The Secret, anyone?). It is powerful, don't get me wrong, but there are other 'laws' out there.

Saundra Pelletier in Saddle Up Your Own White Horse covers 6 more natural laws.

Law Of Three
"Thoughts put into words create our actions."

Law Of The Word
"Every word has a positive or a negative charge associated with its meaning."

Law Of Correspondence
"Our outer world is a reflection of our inner world."

Law Of Compensation
"For everything we do in life, there will be an equal and opposite reaction."

Law Of Surrender
"When we have done everything we can to achieve a goal, turn the situation over to something greater."

Law Of Love
"In loving someone, we make a full commitment to the total development of the full potential of the other."

As an author, I am still learning about the Law Of The Word. Writing is all about emotional manipulation. In romance, my goal is to make the reader laugh, cry, or fall in love. A single misplaced word can ruin that. My editors often will swap in words with similar meanings because of the different connotations. In romance, the heroine would dip her fingers in a jar of cream. In horror, that jar would become a vat. Completely different feeling.

Another subject Saundra Pelletier bravely tackles in Saddle Up Your Own White Horse is what she calls competitive feminism.

What is competitive feminism? Ever notice many women are tougher on other women than on men? Yes, well, that's competitive feminism. It includes mommy wars (lets not mention the whole stay at home, don't stay at home with the kids, debate – or worse, the hot button over whether or not to breast feed) and the Queen Bee syndrome (there can only be one – like The Highlander).

Saundra's stance is the same as mine. You can't be successful on your own. It isn't possible. Life is a group sport. In order to win, you need to build a team and some (if not all) of those team members should be women (ESPECIALLY if you are selling to women!!!). The more successful the members of your team are, the more successful you will be.

A high percentage of authors in my local romance chapter have had books on New York Times Bestseller list. Why? Because everyone worked together to share 'secrets' on how to increase sales and build readerships. I'm benefiting from that grouped knowledge base right now (though my books are niche). Most of the authors are women. Most of our readers are women. And you know what? We get along just fine, thank you very much. Women can happily work together.

My fellow personal finance bloggers are very supportive of each other. When I emailed them, asking if I could write guest posts to support my book launch, almost everyone wrote back an enthusiastic yes.

Build a team. Your success depends on it.

Saundra Pelletier in her book Saddle Up Your Own White Horse talks about two advantages women often have over men. Those are intuition and multitasking.

We've all heard the phrase 'mother's intuition.' It isn't called 'father's intuition.' Why? Because according to Saundra, science proves that women have more neurons in that area of the brain. In other words, we're biologically better at it.

I use my gut a lot in business. I'll meet someone and be able to tell right away they're B.S.'ing me. Once my gut tells me that, I'll look for visible cues to reinforce my message, but honestly, my gut is not often wrong.

The ability to better multitasking is another biological advantage most women have (again scientific studies back this up). I know I multitask much better than my hubby. My hubby focuses in on one thing and gets it done, no distractions or juggling (that too can be a huge advantage – we each have our own gifts). If I give him two tasks at once, one of them won't get done. I can make dinner, read a book, and talk on the phone at the same time. If the hubby gets a phone call, he burns dinner (which is why I'd rather he not talk on the phone while driving).

There is a caution to multitasking though. Ensure that the tasks being done move you towards your goals (be that financial or spiritual or emotional or…). Busy work doesn't benefit anyone.

I thought I'd talk about Saundra Pelletier's new book Saddle Up Your Own White Horse. Although this book is a little too male bashing for me (I LOVE men, especially my hubby), it is crammed full of great tips.

For one, she talks about two roles women take that undermine their success.

The first, the victim, we all know. She's the gal always complaining about how everything bad happens to her (even though others may think she has it good). Woe is me, etc. etc.

I bet you're expecting the other to be the martyr, right? I know. I was too.

It's not. It's the Flatliner. What is the Flatliner? She's the gal that accepts as Saundra says, "a life of plain vanilla." She's busy, her to-do list is long, but she doesn't move towards goals. She is too focused on the here and now. She settles. Yeah. I know. I was thinking how often I settle. Too darn much.

What's wrong with being a Flatliner? Well, Flatliners never achieve greatness. They never reach their full potential.

The funny thing is about this chapter is that while reading it, I was "goofing off." I had finished editing my latest novella and sent it to the publisher. I thought 'that's enough for today.' Then I read about being a Flatliner and thought 'no, darn it, that's not enough. I have more things I could do.'

So here I am, writing this post.

If this book can get my butt in action, it is worth the purchase price.

When I go to restaurants, I usually drink water. There are two reasons for this. It is free (usually, unless you're in some restaurants in Europe and then it can be more expensive than the house wine), and it is diet. Most restaurants have only one choice for diet and that is a diet cola. If you don't want that, you're out of luck.

Until now.

Most of my buddies and I are now trekking around with those Crystal Light singles in our purses (actually, I get Crystal Light's less costly friend at Wal-Mart). We ask about the diet selections (it is only polite) and then when we hear the poor selection, we break out the singles, dumping them in our glasses.

We have yet to have any server make a fuss. They're okay with it. No, more than okay, because they have happy customers. They don't have to hear us complain about the poor diet beverage selection.

This week is the Romance Writers Of America conference in San Francisco. This is when publishers, editors, agents, authors, booksellers, and other industry professionals get together to network.

I didn't go.

I thought about it. Seriously. Almost everyone else from my writing chapter is going so I feel like I'm missing out. I'm a big fan of networking, of meeting people, and creating relationships.

However, I'm also a big fan of doing. I knew I could better spend that week writing and marketing (turns out I need to get a novella in to the publisher by Friday so it is a good thing I didn't go). I only have four months to write two novellas and a full length novel. To do that, I need to apply myself. I looked at the cost of the conference (the admission alone) and thought I could use that better on promotion.

The biggest reason I didn't go is because I had no goal, no purpose for the conference. I have a publisher. Small press authors normally don't interest agents. My books won't be in bricks and mortar bookstores. As I sell eBooks (though Breach Of Trust is now also in print), the best place to find readers, eBooksellers, and other eFolks is online. That I can do from home.

So if 'everyone' else is attending a conference or workshop or…, you still need to do the evaluation for yourself. Others will benefit big time from the RWA conference this year. I wouldn't.

The hubby isn't that picky an eater (obviously since when I'm busy, his meals consist of a can of beans) but before this week, he preferred NOT to eat chicken legs and thighs. I know, I know, the least expensive parts of the chicken. He was a breast man, through and through.

However, his brother is moving and gave us a freezer full of meat. Now, most of that meat went bad due to the freezer accidentally getting unplugged (I posted about that a couple weeks ago). Unfortunately, those were the prime chicken breast pieces. The legs and thighs I squeezed into the tiny freezer on the top of the fridge. They were okay.

That means we have a lot of chicken legs and thighs (for the two of us).

So I dragged out my crockpot, looked up a recipe for Moroccan chicken (similar to the meal we had while in Morocco) and then cooked the chicken all day. The result was delicious (so says the hubby). I am now married to both a crockpot and cheapie chicken part convert.

Almost any meat can be 'saved', regardless of toughness or taste. My trick for toughness is either the crockpot or some sort of clay baker with moisture added. My solution for taste is spices.

(Of course, if the meat is bad, as in spoiled, run, don't walk away from it.)

June's Men's Health had a great little article on how not to get ripped off at the mechanics (yes, men get ripped off too, more than 70% of all car owners suspect they've been over charged).

The Top 3 Scams?

1. Replacing brake rotors

Squealing brakes are a sign the car needs new pads, not costly rotors. Bad rotors will be warped or grooved. Even if you don't know what that looks like, ask to see them first (that will put the mechanic on his/her toes).

2. Installing new shock absorbers

Shock absorbers should be good for 30,000 miles. How to tell if they're still good? Get someone with some strength (not me) to push down on each corner of the car. If the car bounces, you're okay.

3. Hiding removed parts

I know this trick because the hubby always buys used parts from mechanics. Someone had them replaced even though they're still good enough to be installed in other people's (our) cars. That could be happening to you. OR even worse, the part wasn't replaced at all. Ask to see the old parts.

How not to get scammed?

Get referrals to good mechanics from friends with similar cars, ensure that the garage is certified by the National Institute For Automotive Excellence, test the mechanic with simple stuff like oil changes or tire rotations, keep a record of repairs, be specific about your problem, and do NOT frequent a mechanic who works on commission.

Over the past couple of weeks, I've been struggling with guilt. I've been turning down paying contracts while loved ones have been losing jobs (totally different qualifications). I also have an elderly loved one in a very bad financial situation (due to illness and poor financial planning). I've helped less because my cash flow is under tight constraints.

Many fellow entrepreneurs (and writing is an entrepreneurial activity) go through this. Not only do they take a financial hit in the short run themselves but everyone around them does also. It is a bit selfish, if you think about it (as I did – too much).

If I wasn't such a good little paper investor, I could justify it by saying that yes, I might not be able to help as much today, but tomorrow, I'll be able to help a lot more people. Entrepreneurs build jobs, drive income, add value, contribute to society. But I know that's not necessarily true because a portion of any earnings today, I'd invest to be able to help others later. I could do both, all while working a contract gig.

The only real rationale I could find is that I'd likely go insane if I didn't have a project (such as my writing) to work on. I NEED to build something lasting. I NEED to build something for myself. I get bitter and sour otherwise.

On the upside, I have a little over a month left of writing (two novellas to finish) before I go back to earning immediate cash with the contract gigs. I'm lucky because I can switch back and forth between being paid now and being paid later. It eases the guilt, somewhat.

Okay, this is my favorite idea gleaned from Danielle Weinstock's book Can This Elephant Curtsy On Cue? And is well worth the cover price (at this stage of my career, one great idea can pay off big).

That is setting up a pretend job when we're between jobs.

I've been laid off before. I also semi-retired a few summers back. It is SO easy to sit in front of the tv and vegetate. The networks have spent millions of dollars and decades of research figuring out ways to keep you glued to the tv set. Even if you're financially free, this isn't good for self esteem, motivation, or your waist line.

What Weinstock suggests is to set up a pretend job with ideally a pretend office (she uses a buddy's office but I know people who designate the library or the Starbucks as their pretend offices). You get up regular time, shower, dress, and leave (even packing a lunch) for 'the office.' At the office, you give yourself tasks like sending out resumes, marketing, reading 'research' books, organizing your finances, or heck, writing a romance novel (grinning). Busy work (we all have it – as I stare at my pile of filing).

What does this do? It maintains your self esteem. You'll accomplish things. It keeps you part of the working world. You maintain the habit of working (working hard is a habit as is laziness).

I have drafted a honey-do list of things for the hubby if he is ever between jobs (lord help us all, though I doubt a salesman is ever truly out of a job – he is threatening to sell my novel door to door if he gets reorganized out of his current company).

My buddies tease me about having a bulldog approach to success. I work and work and work on something (or someone) until it is a win. I hear a 'but' in every no (whether expressed or not) and figure if I try hard enough it will eventually be a yes.

My technique works. I'm not the best accountant, the best investor, and certainly not the best writer, but if I stay the course, learning all the way, I'll eventually become successful in all these areas (I've already had some great successes in the first two, still trying to crack the successful author formula).

Danielle Weinstock in Can This Elephant Curtsy On Cue? Takes the same approach.

"Do not take no for an answer. This is easy to say and hard to do. But it has been proven time and again that insistence on yes is a fundamental character trait of successful people."

Did you know the average toddler hears 'no' 400 times a day? It doesn’t stop them from trying and it certainly shouldn't stop you.

Note: There is a time to quit. I set realistic goals before the project begins to help me determine when. Caution though, most people quit way too soon. Base those goals on facts, not hopes.

Danielle Weinstock makes a great point in her new book Can This Elephant Curtsy On Cue?

"Money alone is the root of a bad job choice. Live to work. It is more satisfying than toys. Have the wisdom to maintain a nest egg and the integrity to decline unfulfilling employment."

I completely agree. I've never taken a job (or left a job) based on dollars alone. Don’t get me wrong. I like to be paid well. And if I can be paid more for the same experience, I'll take that job first.

However, there has to be more. I think all of us feel this way (that's why we're not drug dealers or crossing other legal and moral boundaries).

About a decade ago, I met a man whose job was to go into failing companies as a senior executive, restructure, lay people off, and then leave. He was VERY well paid yet hated (as in death threats level of hate). I knew if I pushed myself forward, he would take me on as a protégé and train me. I passed. I didn't have the heart for it. Yes, he was performing a valued service, one that had to be done, but I wasn't equipped emotionally to deal with it.

On the flip side, I currently take on opportunities below my going rate if they are interesting enough. I'll take a cut in pay if I can learn something valuable.

Money is only one currency when evaluating your career choices.

When I was contacted about Danielle Weinstock's new book Can This Elephant Curtsy On Cue, I was skeptical. Weinstock, a film producer, is going to teach me about business? Yes, I know that the film industry is a business (I've worked for one of the big motion picture production and distribution companies) but it is a different business. Very unique and specialized (and slightly insane).

But this book isn't about business (despite the front cover). It is about career management. It is about getting hired, staying hired, and yes, getting fired.

THAT a film professional can teach (with her eyes closed or in Weinstock's case while sharing side splitting stories). The average person gets laid off two or three times. They change jobs every four years. Someone in the entertainment business can change jobs every month as they move from production to production. They either learn how to deal with career change or they don't make it.

The timing of Can This Elephant Curtsy On Cue? is unfortunately perfect. If you have a loved one looking at a possible layoff or he/she is already struggling with one, and are wondering what you can do to help, pass along this book. I know I wish I had it when I was laid off. It would have saved me some heartache.

I'll be covering a few of my favorite sections this week (my all time fave is about the Pretend Office) but I won't be doing the book justice. The wealth is in the stories and the humor (along with the big lessons).

You're likely all reading My Open Wallet anyway
(a great source of money ideas)
but in case, you're not...

I have a couple guest posts there
http://www.myopenwallet.net/2008/07/guest-post-cash-strapped-yet-seen.html
about entertainment on a budget.

And
http://www.myopenwallet.net/2008/07/guest-post-working-commute.html
about dealing with a long commute
(during working months, I commute 4 hours a day)

Yesterday morning, I went downstairs to the basement and there was a puddle of blood on the cement (the basement is unfinished, thank goodness). The freezer had been accidentally turned off for a week. Everything was spoiled.

It was a full freezer because my brother-in-law and his wife are in between houses (their old house closes this week, their new house closes in October) and we were storing all their food, mostly costly meat.

Were, because all of it is spoiled. Compost. The frugal gal in me shudders.

There are a few lessons coming out of this.

1) I have a wonderful husband.
An elderly woman in a senior citizen residence once told me that every 'disaster' a couple survives together tightens the bond. We each had our little freak out and got over it. No blame (regret though). No pointing fingers. No anger. Simply a shrug and a roll up of sleeves as we cleaned up (the hubby mopped).

2) There is a risk in doing favors.
Most of the food spoiled belonged to my brother-in-law and his wife. We tried to do a good thing by lending them our freezer space. It turned out not-so-good. They didn't say anything to us but I'm sure they said a few choice things to each other (I feel terrible about it).

3) As with my investments, I should check on the freezer more often.
I don't cook all that often so I didn't notice the freezer was off until the food was spoiled. If I had checked early, we could have saved some food.

4)Canned goods beat freezer food.
I have yet to have canned goods spoil (I never store bent cans for long, eating their contents right away). Every few years, some 'disaster' happens to my freezer contents.

I have an entry over at Fabulous Financials
about one of my fave topics,
Roadtrips.
Please drop by and check it out.

A loved one was offered voluntary severance on Friday. His company is downsizing so they sent out offers to the entire workforce asking for volunteers. He turned it down but he knows that within two years, the location will be closed and he'll be out of a job.

An overwhelming majority of people have told him to stick it out to the bitter end and then take the offer given then.

I don't think so.

Playing last man (or woman) standing is not pleasant. More and more responsibilities are placed on fewer and fewer staff (I've heard of office workers mopping floors). Everyone is tense, on edge, and snappy. Not to mention, the package offered at the end is usually quite stingy.

I told him to start looking for a new job immediately. Yes, he'd be walking away for a package but that package is designed to bridge between employment, not to be a windfall. If he finds a new job, no bridge is needed.

We’ve talked about the benefits of looking for a job while having a job before. There is no off putting smell of desperation turning employers off (employers like to hire people other employers want). The job searcher has the luxury of time and can wait for a great job, rather than settle for any job. He has some negotiation power. This translates into (usually) a higher salary. That higher salary will more than make up for any severance pay lost.

Are you sick and tired of hearing about Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac and all the other bad news swirling around the Financial Blogosphere?

Then take a virtual vacation over at
http://www.queercents.com/2008/07/15/tahiti-on-the-cheap-five-ways-to-afford-a-south-pacific-paradise/
where I'm talking about ways to decrease the cost of a Tahiti vacation.

Yep, that's what I need right now.
To sit on the beach and escape.

Thanks to Nina for allowing me to guest post!!

My post yesterday reminded me how important the perception of time is. Time, in my opinion, is a far more precious resource than money. I can always earn more money. Time, once passed, is gone forever.

Here are my top 5 time management tips…

1) Harness Synergies
If I'm expending energy, I want to use that action to benefit as many other areas of my life as possible. Take travel. The hubby and I love to travel. I use the photos from our trips on our travel blog. I base many of my novels in the travel destinations. I research new products and business development for my blogs and for my contract gigs. I usually pop in on business, blog, or writing buddies or family. We bring back goods (like English chocolate) to barter and as thank you's. And we're always looking for investments.

2) Sunk Time Is Gone
Time, like money, spent in the past is not considered when making decisions about the future. I've ended blogs that I spent 3 years posting on. I'm not going to spend more of my precious time on something that isn't working and won't ever work.

3) When You Can, Delegate
There are unlimited possibilities to fill up our day. I'm very choosy about what tasks I take on. If I can delegate it for less (or the same hourly rate) and doing it myself doesn't bring me joy, I delegate. It isn't a sign of weakness but of power.

4) Do The To Do List
With the unlimited possibilities and the tempting distractions, the to do list is a must. I keep it manageable, usually with my top 5 things to do that day (ordered in importance). Then, and this is the trick, I DO it. I get it done and then no matter what happens with the rest of my day, I feel I've accomplished something

5) Rewards Come After Accomplishments
TV or recreational reading is a reward. It is like dessert. It should come after the accomplishments, the main dish, the work. Like dessert, too much makes one soft (in the head, rather than the belly)

I have a goal every summer. Over the four months, I write a novel and a novella. A book published every six months is considered the bare minimum for budding romance writers. That's me. Bare minimum.

Now you would think knowing that, I'd plan, I'd plot, I'd prepare. I have no room for a mistake, a bad manuscript. That would be smart but nope, last summer I didn't. I was cocky. I was going to be a pantser (a writer who writes by the seat of her pants). I was going to sit down and write.

I DID sit down and write (I usually do what I say I'm going to do). I spent three months out of the four (compared to the usual two) on a manuscript I call Corporate. It was a struggle. It was confusing. It was not good. I knew that but figured… hey, I can fix it.

I sent it off to my pre-editor. She didn't like it. At all. She said that although it was better than some novels she has read (i.e. wallbangers – books readers throw at the wall), it wasn't up to my usual standard. I'd disappoint readers if I published it. She suggested major changes. Get a new hero or heroine size changes.

Fine. I swallowed hard. I reread it. I considered the changes I'd have to make. Even if I fixed it, it would never be a great novel. It could only be good. With the same time, I could possibly write a great novella. So I've decided to shelf it. Yeah. It hurt.

I then talked the situation over with my publisher. I told her I'd be submitting my novella before the pre-editor looked at it so I can meet my publishing schedule. She said that was fine.

Some lessons?

Don't Cut Corners
Cutting corners in planning and preparation always shows in the final product. The final product could be good but with more upfront work, it could have been better.

Time Spent Doesn't Count
When I was deciding whether or not to rewrite the novel or write a brand new novella, I would think about the months I spent on the novel last summer. An error. Time like money, once spent, shouldn't be considered.

Negotiate Out Of A Mistake
When faced with the choice between a sub par product or a delay, most rational people will choose the delay. After explaining the situation, my publisher was understanding and happy to work with me. Communication is key.

Sharon Harvey Rosenberg shares a 'secret' in The Frugal Duchess. She doesn't drive. I swear, I dropped the book at that point. Here was a successful reporter (and we all know reporters travel constantly) and she doesn't drive.

You know what?

I don't drive either. Oh, I CAN drive. I have my license (as does Sharon). I simply don't. For a number of reasons but the main one being I'm a terrible driver. I don't pay attention. I get distracted by ads, people, gadgets. I'm dangerous (seriously) so I do the world a favor and don't drive.

I don't have to. I live in a major city with great public transportation. I have a high enough net worth to hire a driver or take a taxi if need be (hiring a driver is NOT as expensive as it sounds). I am married to an alpha male who would prefer to be the driver at all times. And I have a lot of friends who, especially if I pay for the costly gas, will drive me if I ask.

Sharon covers many of the tricks the car-less have learned but best of all, she covers the emotional issues of not driving. Namely… people think we're losers. You know… the pitying looks drivers give the people waiting at the bus stop. It isn't as bad in a big city, because who wants to pay for pricey parking downtown, but we still have to deal with snide comments at parties, etc. Yep, being car-less is pretty much an alternative lifestyle.

However, the lifestyle pays. The hubby and I have saved money only having one car. The best part though is that we're closer. We spend more time together as we drive together doing errands or commuting to work. We talk. We have the laughs. We share.

Well worth the pitying looks.

Jeepers, I only have two posts left in Frugal Duchess week and over 200 pages to cover. I won't be able to put even a dent in the information captured in this book (I heard a rumor Sharon was working on a follow up – I don't know how she has more to share 'cause this book is crammed).

I figure I'll pick the a-ha moments for me. Tips I'm implementing right away.

One of those being the freezer trick. You see the hubby and I travel a lot. We hear about power outages while we're gone. That makes me nervous when I return and take items out of the freezer. Sure that steak looks fully frozen now but was it baking in the summer heat while we were puttering around France? How's a girl to know?

Sharon tells you how a girl can know. You put a Ziploc baggy of ice cubes in the freezer (the door if you have an upright – which I can tell you, having had both an upright and a chest freezer, is worth the extra money). If you come back and the baggy is one solid lump of ice, you know the freezer has been off and likely long enough to spoil the other food.

No more playing Russian roulette with your stomach (actually I don't mind playing fast and loose with my own stomach – it is loved one's stomachs I fret about).

Oh, I have an idea for Sharon's next book. If she can figure out how to ensure people close the fridge door properly (i.e. put all the items behind the white line so it closes), I'll buy 10 of her next book ('course I will likely buy 10 of this book but we won't tell Sharon that). My fridge door is constantly left open. It drives me CRAZY!

Our city has a ban on pesticides and other nasty weed killers. The problem is… we have an interlock driveway. Grass and weeds are constantly poking through the cracks in the brick (plants are resilient, aren't they?). So what is the hubby doing? He's spraying the driveway with vinegar. It does a great job (especially combined with the sun). The best part is that it is way less expensive than the fancy outlawed weed killers.

I'm a big vinegar fan. I use it to clean (vinegar and water is the BEST at cleaning windows, and it is a superb rinse agent for the dishwasher), to bake, and clean clogged drains.

Sharon Harvey Rosenberg has an entire mini chapter in The Frugal Duchess talking about kinder, gentler, and less expensive alternatives to household cleaners and laundry room helpers. The big three being vinegar, bleach (NOT together), and baking soda (who doesn't have a box of that in the fridge?), supplies our great-grandmothers used to clean with. Yep, what is old is new again.

Oh, and she has a section on the wonders of WD-40 too. I once interviewed people for a Gallup poll sponsored by WD-40, gathering tips on how they use that stuff. Did you know that some folks (mostly manly men puttering around the garage) use it to help with their arthritis? They rub it on their joints. Now, I don't know if I would do THAT but there are some other great uses.

I didn't think I'd get anything from the chapter in Sharon Harvey Rosenberg's The Frugal Duchess about furniture. I mean, I am the QUEEN of used furniture shopping. The hubby and I joke that there is a tiny blemish on every single piece in the house (often underneath table tops).

Well, I was wrong.

There were the basics like avoiding glued 'joints' and particle board but there was also this simple tip I wished I had known a decade ago...

"drawers of poorly-made furniture typically lack guides - the tracks that smoothly open and close the drawers." Specifically she advises to look for wood and metal guides.

Doesn't that make shopping for used (or even new) furniture easier? I used to spend hours looking at joints. Is it a dovetail (good)? Is that veneer (bad)? When really if the manufacturer doesn't even have guides installed, they aren't going to have quality joints.

Another aha moment was the bit about couch cushions and checking the cushion seams. "If the seams have become flattened or if the cushion appears to sag, don't buy the piece." How many times have you bought a couch only to have the cushions flat as a crepe (smothered with Nutella and crushed almonds) a year or two later? Yep, I've done that too. A quick test of the cushions would have prevented that bad buy (s).

Okay, I'm doing better. Two posts in and I've covered a page of the 229 page book.

Okay, I'm half way through Sharon Harvey Rosenberg's new book, aptly called The Frugal Duchess, and I could honestly have Frugal Duchess year here on NoLimitsLadies, there is so much information crammed into one book.

And I'm not just saying that because I was shocked and pleased to be featured on Page 8 (marketing tip to Sharon, you might want to tell people when they're in a book – though it made my Saturday night, I spent it calling everyone I knew).

If you like Tightwad Gazette, if you like Mary Hunt's (early) books, or if you simply like great stories about family and friends paired with good money management tips, you'll love this book. I've already put orders in for more copies.

Anyhoo… The Frugal Duchess is more than saving money. Sharon has tips on things like, well, handling a second job.

For example: She suggests storing the clothes or uniform for that second job in a locker or the car to speed up the transition between jobs.

I remember changing in the car as my Mom drove me from place to place. I was a sports gal (a figure skater) and one of six kids so nudity didn't bother me. We'd get locked out of locker rooms and have to change in hallways (sort of like runway models but with way bigger thighs).

My hubby uses that trick now. He always has an extra suit with shirt and tie in the trunk of the car. How many times have you been told of an afternoon meeting with the exec team while dressed inappropriately? I know that has happened to me more than once (bad day for the hot pants).

Hhhmmm… great. I've covered one line in the book. I promise to do better tomorrow but seriously, this is one book you'll want to pick up.

One of the big projects for this summer was to fresh up our house's entrance way, specifically the door. The door hadn't been painted in 10 years. The paint was chipping. The white looked a bit yellow. In other words, yuck.

All last year, we looked for a replacement door. We were thinking about going with one of those wrought iron doors with the glass inserts but we couldn't decide on the style, the price, and a list of other things.

So we had a few choices… we could rush our decision on the dream door, we could simply replace our door with another cheapie version, or we could paint it.

We decided to paint it. For $20 (we had coupons) and some elbow grease, we figure we've stretched the life of our door by a few years. That should be time enough to decide on a replacement and haggle for the best deal on it. We figure we'll save more than the $20 having the luxury of time and the negotiation strength.

Success Magazine has drafted a list of 27 tools for success.

Some of them I very much agree with. Friends? Yep, they can make or break you. A supportive group of success minded friends (not the same as like minded – it actually helps if they are in different fields with different interests) can make or break you. A back up or external drive (or I usually email files to myself)? That baby came in handy recently when my computer… well, had technical challenges (literally). I was able to take my back up manuscript off my email and work on it on another computer (the hubby is in the computer consulting industry, we have quite a few computers).

Some of them are gender specific. The good pair of dress shoes? Essential for a male (the author is male). Especially a timeless style that can be soled and resoled time and time again. For women? Not so much. Styles change so often. Heck, we often wear different pairs with each outfit. Plunking a lot of money down on a pair of shoes doesn't make sense.

A couple I don’t agree with at all. Netflix? Please. I haven't rented a movie in a few years. If I absolutely need to see a movie, I borrow from a friend (see the friends line). If I love a movie (like the BBC version of Pride and Prejudice), I'll put it on my gift list. Another is the camera. Most phones have cameras built in (and using the phone is a lot more subtle for those secret shops). I only use my separate camera during vacations when I'm taking a lot of photos.

But I did enjoy reading the list. It really got me thinking what was important and what wasn't.

When my hubby does something for us, it can be as small as loading the dishwasher, I thank him. I often also tell him he's doing a great job. He does the same for me.

It may seem silly, two married people thanking each other for everyday tasks (after 15 happy years together), until you think about what we're doing.

We're showing appreciation. We're telling the other person 'hey, I noticed. I noticed and although you didn't have to do that, you did and I appreciate it.' If you listen to Dr. Phil (and I don't suggest you do that often, his shows are usually a real downer), you'll hear appreciation come up time and time again as a reason for relationship issues. We don't appreciate our spouse. We don't appreciate our parents. We don't appreciate ourselves.

By showing appreciation, we are also making a mental note. It is easy to 'forget' all the great things our significant others do for us. By verbalizing the thank you, we're more likely to remember. I've caught myself thinking 'I seem to be constantly thanking the hubby today' then I realize (usually moments later) 'hey, he's really working hard.' I know, I can be a bit slow at times, not always making the connection.

I figure that if a complete stranger warrants a thank you, a loved one deserves at least that for doing the same thing.

Oh, yeah, rereading this, I realized I used another 'trick' for a happy relationship. When we talk about our time together, we always say 'happy' years. Has every minute of every day been happy? Of course not. But by saying 'happy' years, it automatically conditions our brains to think of them as happy years. Words are powerful folks. Use them to create the world you want to live in.

The hubby and I took his brothers and sister-in-law to Ponderosa on Saturday. We love Ponderosa because we usually eat the buffet and then pack the meal for the next day. It's kind of like eating out twice.

It is also a sentimental pick as both the hubby and I have fond memories of childhood meals at Ponderosa. My Grandparents used to take my Mom and the six kids (myself included) to Ponderosa at least once a year. This was a big deal as it was our only sit down restaurant meal (I'd have the fish and chips, now I have the sirloin tips). My hubby's parents used to take him and the other brothers there on no-cook Saturdays (the hubby's Mom doesn't cook dinner on Saturdays) if they had a coupon (if they didn't, it was KFC).

Anyhoo…

It comes to leaving a tip. The hubby and I, since we paid, also left the tip, a generous tip. Both of us have worked in service before. Both of us have tried to survive on minimum wage before (we did it by working multiple jobs). We know that people making minimum wage work as hard (or harder) than people making 100k a year. We figure if we're fortunate enough to be going out to dinner or traveling (staying in hotel rooms), we're fortunate enough to share the wealth. I also like the notion of helping people who are obviously helping themselves.

Yep, we had quite a few reasons. Why? Because we constantly have to defend our choice. This situation was no different. The rest of the party was more conservative in their tipping. I don't think we convinced them to change their views but they did seem to accept that we had a base for our own choice.

My next door neighbor is selling her house. Being nosy, we, of course, looked up the listing. Yikes. The house is larger than ours on an even proportionately larger lot yet is listed for way below our city property tax assessment value. A number we thought was conservative.

We were in shock. Then we were angry. And after that, rational thought kicked in.

We don't plan on selling our house any time soon (as in, we'd have to be dead for the house to be sold). Our house is still worth way more than we paid for it originally (we bought when property values in our area were in the dumper also). We don't have a mortgage (no worries about a lender wanting us to pay the difference). And there is always the consideration that the newly listed neighbor's house might, just might sell for over asking (that is a small hope).

But we are taking action. We're talking to the city to have our house reassessed, using the neighbor's listing as "proof." If our property value is tanking, we might as well have the (very) small benefit of having our property taxes reduced also.

Bankrate recently posted an article on the 12 new 'necessities' that drain your cash.

They are;

1. Daily latte
2. Cable TV
3. Manicure/pedicure
4. Botox
5. Bottled water
6. Second car
7. Cell phone
8. Lawn service
9. Clothes
10. Private School
11. Childhood parties
12. Pet grooming/walking

Okay, I come from the country. The last one about pet grooming makes me smile. I could imagine what my uncles would say about that. 'God gave your dog hair. Let him keep it.' Or something like that.

And my hubby is our lawn service. Part of the manly man club in the neighborhood. Everyone cuts their grass basically on the same day (if you don't, your lawn looks shaggy by comparison) and then stand around talking about their mowers. A friend (female obviously) suggested, with the high gas prices, we get a manual mower. I laughed. I think he'd give up our only car first.

I digress.

We all have our indulgences. I don’t think there's anything wrong with that, as long as we can afford them AND we recognize them as that. I love chocolate. I happily spend some of my allowance on chocolate (and then, even happier, eat it). But I know that if we were ever in a pickle (I don't know where that phrase comes from, but I use it because my Mom uses it), my chocolate would have to go. It is NOT a necessity

Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil's new book Financial Infidelity is crammed full of good advice. I think the title does the book a disservice, putting the emphasis on the negative. Most of the book is about building and maintaining strong relationships with a special focus on the often overlooked financial aspect.

For example: Her 10 rules for fighting fair

1. Ask permission
2. If your partner is not ready to talk, reschedule without 24 hours
3. Put time limits on fighting (the age old advice… don't go to bed angry)
4. Do not ignore your partner
5. Use "I" sentences, rather than "You" sentences (important for any critique type situation)
6. Echo what you hear and validate your partner's feelings (good listening)
7. Emphasize.
8. Be honest, without being hurtful.
9. Detach from your emotions.
10. Before, during, and after each fight, practice attachment skills (lovingly touch your partner when make a point)

These 10 rules can be applied to any fight (well, maybe it is best if you don't lovingly touch your boss during a fight but you can use positive body language, like sitting with your arms open, and palms up).

Learning how to fight well is SO important for relationships. Of course, this is just the summary. The book puts more detail into fair fighting techniques.

One interesting and unique situation that Bonnie Eaker Weil addresses in her book Financial Infidelity is when the woman earns more than the man.

I've earned more than the hubby. Actually, being a year older than the hubby and having skipped grades, I went an entire year earning a full time salary while he was in school (while we were dating). He would joke and call me his sugar momma but I know it was challenging for him to deal with.

What are some of Bonnie's tips for dealing with this?

Women should watch their pronouns, using 'our' money, rather than 'my' money. I do this right now with the novels. It is 'our' writing acknowledging his financial and time sacrifices (and the countless cans of beans he's eaten).

They should be open and not neglect talking about work. Work is a huge part of the day. To not share that is to keep a large chunk of yourself back.

They should work as a team, not controlling or making unilateral spending decisions.

Men should have a guilt-free spending fund. They should focus on the positives. See her making more money as increasing his lifestyle.

She suggests that couple take turns paying the bills or pay them together. Okay, she must not have met my hubby. He may glance at the bills (especially 'cussing at the one for the internet) but the actual mechanics of paying the bills? Not interested. Thank goodness for auto withdrawal.

One of the great checklists found in the book Financial Infidelity by Bonnie Eaker Weil is the "At Risk" times in every relationship. Wowsers, this is one to tear out and post by the computer.

When are the high risk times?

Work Life

- Job changes: being fired or leaving to start a new job
- Significant change in compensation due to promotion, especially for women
- Retirement
- Work-related traveling
- Change in household career dynamic (from two incomes to one or vice versa) such as the man deciding to stay home and become "Mr. Mom," while the woman becomes the major wage earner
- Increase in professional responsibilities; being a workaholic

Family Life

- Purchase of a new home/sale of an old one
- Downsizing of home
- Children attending nursery school, private school, or college
- Recent large purchase (boat, house, luxury car)
- Empty nest
- Birth of child
- Illness, medical expenses, or death of parent/child
- Fertility treatments

Personal Life

- Changes in relationship status
- Problems with alcohol or drugs
- Decade birthday
- Midlife crisis or "burnout"
- Significant change in investments (increase or decrease)
- Inheritance or disinheritance
- Desire for postnup, prenup, or no-nup

Are you currently in one of these very, very stressful places? Then extra time and care should be spent on your oh-so-important relationship. Remember an ounce of prevention...

I've been reading Financial Infidelity by Bonnie Eaker Weil. Disagreements about money is the number one reason for divorce. Weil offers a seven step plan to help prevent this.

My favorite parts of this book are the sections on what a person says and what a person really means. Many of them are oh-so-true and really make you think.

Take this one

What she says: "You said we couldn't afford a vacation to Europe and now you've bought season basketball tickets without telling me."

What she may mean: "I can't trust you and you're selfish."

Now, isn't that the truth? At least about the selfish bit (I DO trust my hubby). I've found myself thinking similarly thing from time to time. Like when my hubby makes that straggled noise as I look at the pricey dessert menu and then days later, buys new rims for the car (that we have yet to take possession of).

In my mind, the two purchases are connected. In my hubby's? Not. At all. The dessert is a fleeting indulgence while the rims he knows he can resell (because he got such a bargain) at the purchase price or more. Of course the key here is communication.

As Weil states

"Don't 'decide; what your partner's actions or inactions mean by 'mind reading,' Even if you've been married twenty years, don't assume you 'know' what your partner is thinking. Practice nonjudgmental fact-finding."

In other words, ask.

Over the next couple days, I'll be digging into this book, exploring the different concepts and strategies.

I'm guest blogging on Coffee Time Romance this week.

At first I had a list of possible blog topics I thought I could cover, general topics tying into Breach Of Trust like travel and food, things any reader could comment on.

That wasn't what the host wanted. Why? Because just as any reader could comment on those topics, any author could cover them. What she was interested in was my specific blend of business and romance. That's what makes me special. That's what makes my novels unique.

It was a light bulb moment for me. For months, I've been struggling with this blog. I do like talking about personal finance but I don't know. I find myself covering all the same topics the other bloggers are covering. I'm missing that special contribution. What I can give to the personal finance blogging world that no one else can.

I'll have to think about this for a bit. Hopefully by the fall (back to the contract gig time), I'll have found my groove.

Until then, think about what you're doing, either in your own business or your job. What can you offer that no one else can? What special something do you have to contribute?

I may be frugal but I still use credit cards. I use them for business and I use them for personal. I have a couple 'rules' for credit cards. I don't use them for anything that hasn't been budgeted for. I also don't use them for things like groceries.

And I reconcile them every month.

How do I do this? Easily?

I have an accordion file where I keep monthly bills. The credit card receipts go into a separate compartment. One compartment per credit card. Then when I receive my statement, I match each line on the credit card statement with the receipt. If all goes well, I staple everything together and happily pay the bill (well, not happily, more like dutifully).

In a perfect world, that is what would happen.

I'm not perfect and neither is the world. So I usually have a few lines unaccounted for. If I'm lucky, I can figure the charge out. I check to ensure that it wasn't billed the previous month (that happens). If that wasn't the case, I write the explanation on the statement and move forward.

If I don't know what the charge is for, I'll call either the credit card company or the vendor listed (if the vendor is clear). Most times, I'll then remember what I purchased. If I still don't know, I'll ask the vendor for a copy of the receipt. If after all that, I still have no clue (and don't recognize my own siggy on the receipt), I'll work with my credit card company to contest it.

The hubby and I recently returned from a trek around Europe. During this trek, we popped in on one of the hubby's honorary uncles (not really a relative, a long time family friend) in London. He's been retired for 25 years.

Yep, you read that right. 25 years.

That's a long time, almost longer than he worked. It isn't a fluke that, despite never having a huge income while working, he's having a comfortable retirement. He was smart about it. He planned for it and he planned to live on less than the income produced by his investments. Today, he has enough cash flow to re-invest some of those dividends.

Because that's what he's invested in. Solid stocks with a constant flow of dividends. It isn't glamorous. It isn't sexy. It won't make you a millionaire overnight. But it should give you a lasting stream of income to live well on.

Another way to sum up his investment strategy is to talk about how he indulges in his one big vice, gambling. He bets on the horses. No. That's not right. He bets on the jockeys. He has noticed that the best jockeys like to win (go figure). They also have their choice of horses to ride. So he bets on the best jockeys. And he wins.

How do you plan to win?

When a buddy offered me a copy of Predicting Technology by Thomas E Vass, I was excited. As I'm in new business development, predicting the future of technology would come in extremely handy. Technology drives other innovation. Everything is connected.

Unfortunately, this book was not. Handy, that is. I'm thinking Vass must know what he's talking about, supposedly he is "one of the top 100 private managers in the country." I simply could not understand what he was saying. It is written like a textbook, has 40 pages of attributions to other works, and some of the longest words ever used in business. I also found statements like "Most entrepreneurs come from the ranks of the unemployed, the outsourced, the down-sized and the laid-offs" almost offensive.

Hhhhmmm... well, maybe he's right there. (Grinning) Maybe the reason I can't understand it, is because I'm one of those unemployable ranks (though I seem to land contract gigs quite easily).

But a great lesson from this book is to match your communication with your target market. Accord to Vass' website, this book is targeted to entrepreneurs. Yet most of the suggestions are aimed towards influencing government. It isn't written in a language the average "unemployable" entrepreneur could understand. And it doesn't respect the resource (time) entrepreneurs have least of.

I don't doubt this will be an influential book. I'm simply going to wait for the Vass for Dummies version.

Oh, if anyone else has read this book and could summarize it in everyday English, I would appreciate knowing about it.

I wrote the book (s), sent them out, and guess what? I got rejected. Over and over and over. Well written but too niche. No one wants business with their romance. Business isn't sexy (yep, I gasped at that one too). Rejection is a huge part of the business (and of life).

You know why Joseph Heller's novel Catch-22 was called that? Because it was rejected 22 times. Alex Hailey, author of Roots, received 200 rejections. Call Of The Wild's Jack London received over 600 rejections. If you want to be a published writer, you will get rejected. Guaranteed.

And then there are the critics. I've been criticized by people who haven't even read the book (they say it is too sexy based on the cover, well, it is sexy but since when are exposed legs too sexy???). I've been told that it must not be good enough for the big publishers (being so niche, it won't sell enough copies for the large publishers, is that the same thing as not good enough?). Oh, and there are a LOT of eBook haters out there (as though offering the novel in that format is my personal vendetta against print).

That's why my Why was so important. When all the negativity beat me down, I revisited it. I enjoyed writing Breach of Trust, nothing could take away that wonderful experience. The extreme reactions proved I was providing a different read for romance lovers. I did expose, based on fan mail, business lessons to non-business people. Check. Check. Check. I accomplished my Why.

The problem with 81% of us wanting to write a book is that very few people will take you seriously when you say you're actually doing it. They immediately slot you into the dreamer category or worse, will gleefully tell you why you'll never make it (very much like entrepreneurship).

No. That's why THEY never made it. It has nothing to do with you.

That's why you need your cheerleaders. I had to recruit and train mine.

I sat my hubby down and said "I'm writing a book. It is important to me. I'm going to be facing a lot of rejection. What I need from you is 100% support. No suggestions. No criticisms. Just 'you can do it, I believe in you,' over and over and over again."

I don't even let my hubby read my novels. I need him to be 100% on my side and that's easier with him not having read the book (because the brain automatically suggests ways it can be better).

Another helpful tactic is to have timelines. My screenwriter brother sends a script out every Christmas. It is more a gift to himself than to others. He knows he has that self imposed deadline. It forces him to produce. I have publishing deadlines now (if I want to hit my 2 books a year) but before that, I'd also tell myself that I need to get book 1 to the critique service by x date. That way, I didn't get stuck in the editing death spiral.

Although Breach Of Trust is 258 pages, the first novel I ever wrote was around 400 pages. I was working full time when I wrote that first novel. Actually more than full time. I was working crazy hours. I was newly married. I had side businesses. Time sucks all over the place.

So how did I do it?

I took the advice of most professional writers and wrote my "quota" a day (mine was 250 words or one page). Good, bad, or brilliant, I wrote that page. If I had extra time/energy, I went back and revised or changed but I always wrote that page. You write a page a day and you'll finish a novel a year. Dream (of writing a book) accomplished. One page a day.

Did I write that page while sitting in complete silence in my home office?

Laughing hysterically. No. No. No. I didn't have that sort of time (remember the working crazy hours part?). I wrote it long hand while sitting on the bus or waiting for the hubby or in line at the grocery store. I kid you not. Why? Because this dream was important to me.

That first book was horrible but I finished it. I never said I'd write a great book, simply that I'd write a book. The second was better. The third even better than that. The fourth was Breach of Trust and my fifth, Invisible, is even better.

Ramit had a great post a while back on how everyone (81% of us) wants to write a book. Well, it has been over a month since my first book launch and over this week, I thought I'd share some of my lessons learned.

Today, I'm covering the Why. Why did I want to write a book? This is important because writing a book and getting it published is a long, rejection-filled process. Without a strong enough why (or better yet, multiple why's), I would have quit along the way and that would have been a waste of any of my time previously invested.

I had multiple why's. I've always enjoyed writing. I loved reading romances and wanted to give back to the community I have taken so much enjoyment from. I noticed the lack of romances about business people who loved being business people and I knew with my experience, I could sneak in real business lessons into the novels (my favorite feedback has been from romance readers who knew nothing about business). This would further my larger goal of helping to educate other women about business (as I was educated by my own mentors).

I was in a great place to test this concept (jury is still out on whether it will be successful though my publisher seems happy with the results). I didn't need the money and could devote the time to promotion.

You see, there isn't a lot of money in writing books. There are some exceptions but those exceptions are usually because the books have been sold to film (like Harry Potter). Money is a poor motivator anyway (for business start ups also). There has to be something bigger.

We are often told that location, location, location is the most important aspect of real estate. This holds true with travel. Location has a big influence on cost.

Look At All Costs

We were going on a road trip and had a choice between Manhattan and Chicago. The cost of getting there was the same. The meals similar. Then we looked at two things, hotel and parking. Ouch. The cheaper by far (for this specific weekend) was Chicago.

Be Flexible - Location

The hubby and I wanted to do a cruise. We thought… no brainer, the Caribbean would be the cheapest. The flight was shorter and the ports less expensive. No actually. All costs included a week on the Mediterranean was a fraction of the cost. Yes. That shocked both the hubby and myself also.

And the cruise on the Mediterranean is less expensive than a week in Vegas. Again. Who would have thought it?

Be Flexible – Timing

If you're stuck on a certain time, spring break in Florida, NYC for New Years, New Orleans for Mardi Gras, for example, you'll be paying for it. If missing these specific events aren't important to you and you're free and easy time-wise, visit these locations off peak.

Exotic Does Not Mean Better

A buddy was envying my upcoming trip to Venice. She was going on vacation also but to Biloxi. I told her that some of the best vacations I've ever had were closer to home. Exotic does not necessarily mean better.

As I've mentioned, we can look at big pay offs in travel as investors and entrepreneurs but what about making just a bit of extra cash? Maybe enough to pay for the vacation.

The Mule

No, I don't mean a drug mule (that does pay but the risks are too high and the ethics extremely dodgy). My buddies love English chocolate (Cadburys). To buy it here is very expensive. So what I do is every time I go to England, I bring back chocolate and then resell it to my buddies. I do this at cost (trading for favors) but others I know make a profit.

The Travel Blog

I have a travel blog where I post my tips and my photos. I have Adsense up on it. It doesn’t make much money (no real traffic yet) right now, only enough to pay for the domain name ($10 a year). That might be because I don't promote it (just a guess). However, other travel blogs do quite well.

Writing Articles For Magazines

This is why most of my travel buddies make their money. They write freelance articles for magazines, newspapers, and blogs. Before traveling, explore what these different media want (resolution on photos, subjects, etc).

I own shares in a real estate investment trust out West. Being East coast based, I have to mostly 'trust' in virtual and second hand research.

Except when I go on vacation out West.

Then I take the opportunity to check out as many of the properties as possible. Many properties in this specific trust are motels so I can actually stay there. I talk to people. Is it busier than last year? Is management taking care of the place? All those questions a fund manager would ask, I ask.

I do the same with the international companies I'm holding in my portfolio. Only 37% of Coca-Cola's net revenue (excluding bottling investments) comes from North America. If I don’t understand what is happening in these other countries, I shouldn't be investing. Understanding is so much easier when I can see the local markets in action. For Coke, that means strolling down local grocery aisles, watching what the local street vendors are selling, looking for branding.

Some companies also will arrange for plant or office tours for shareholders. Yep, even minor shareholders. I've dropped in on a Coke office in London and spoken to employees there.

My real estate buddies are always on the look out for heating up markets and great deals. Investing overseas directly, however, requires a whole other skill set than locally. Be cautious.

I'm heading into vacation season so I thought I'd talk about one of my favorite topics… travel, this week. When people think about financial posts on travel, they immediately think travel savings. Yes, we'll cover that too, but some of the biggest "wins" from travel come from the revenue side, specifically in new business development (another favorite topic of mine).

Sources Of Ideas

I've gotten some of my best ideas from travel.

For example: Many, many years ago, when I went to England, I saw that character flavored drinking boxes were all the rage. If it was big there, why wouldn't it be big here? So I came home, did more research, and helped launch it (very successfully).

Sources Of Products

Taking it one step further, an entrepreneur could set up an import (or licensing) relationship with the foreign manufacturer.

Sources Of Learning

Whenever I travel, I usually set up meetings or tours with local companies. These could be in my field (when I was in beverage, I toured beverage companies the world over) or outside of it. I'd ask questions of people who if they were local, would be my competition. So if I was working for Coca-Cola, I would talk to the Pepsi people. They were more likely to be open because I was from another country. I would also walk into grocery stores and count facings (the number of product on shelves). I would look at any of the hot toys, products, and trends.

Of course, I'd do my own local research before applying any lessons to my own market but these travel findings helped drive some of my biggest wins.

During the next two weeks (until the 15th),
I'm going to be off-blog.
I've lined up some great posts for while I'm "gone"
but for some reason,
the scheduling function has been messing up
(i.e. not posting).
Dang MovableType.
I've been too swamped to figure out how to fix it
(finished first draft of the next novel - yes!).

Anywho... if that happens,
don't worry,
nothing has happened to me
(I hope, knock on wood).
I'll talk to y'all when I get back.
Until then, happy investing!!

The hubby is looking at buying a car (the other car deal fell through) via eBay. The thing is he's seen this car come up again and again. The same car. There is a buy it now bid and we suspect that unless the seller gets the buy it now price, he isn't serious about selling.

Yeah, it is a bit of a scam.

The hubby still looks at this car, it is priced attractively (even at the buy it now price) but he won't bid. Why? Because a scammer is a scammer, whether he is offering you a "good" deal or not. And scammers, given half a chance, will take advantage of you.

Whenever you go into any deal, whether it is to buy a chocolate bar at a convenience store or a car on eBay, there is an element of trust in the transaction. The convenience store owner could give you fake bills back. He could use your credit or debit card information. He could be selling you chocolate manufactured during World War II (I swear some of the chocolate I've bought has been that old). You don't know.

When you deal with a known scammer, that likelihood goes up. And there's really no need to risk it. There are plenty of honest people (or at least people you don't KNOW are dishonest) out there.

A deal is only a good deal if it gets done.

One of the big benefits of moving from being an employee to being a consultant is my valuation of time. When before I used to discount or completely ignore the cost of my time, when I started billing by hour, I'd naturally apply a charge out rate to every other activity.

What does this mean?

Nothing is free. Even me sitting here writing this post costs. And that's the way it should be because nothing IS free. If I spend an hour watching the season finale of American Idol, I'm not spending that hour laughing at my hubby's funny work stories or writing the next chapter of my book (the sequel to Invisible). I've made a choice and I've paid for that choice by whatever else I give up.

I recently went to the housewarming of an entrepreneurial couple. The husband hired contractors in to completely re-do the house. He could have done it himself but he said quite openly that his time was worth more. I'm still struggling with that concept. My own hubby (coming from a family of do-it-yourself'ers) REALLY struggles with this concept. He constantly wants to re-evaluate using a financial advisor.

Frankly my time is worth more. If I look at the time required to replicate the service the financial advisor is providing vs the cost he is charging for that service, it isn't worth it.

Look at your time. Are you spending it wisely?

There is an excellent interview with an FBI profiler in May's Men's Health. One of the scenarios he covers is what you should do when looking for a new house. I thought you might find these tips helpful (as I did).

"Good profilers learn to look away from the focal point."
Shift your attention away from the property to what surrounds it. That holds true for rooms also. Many people will notice the magnificent fireplace but not the cracked tile in the corner.

Use government resources.
Log on to the U.S. Department of Justice's national sex-offender public registry. Talk to the nearest police department about criminal activity in the area. Police are VERY open about how they view the neighborhood.

Look at cars and lawns and talk to neighbors.
Cars can tell you a lot about your neighbors. If you don't seen any SUV's or mini-vans, odds are, it isn't a family friendly area. Are your neighbors owning or renting? What do they like about the area? What don't they like about the area?

Watch your real estate agent
"People often self-consciously glance at trouble spots" so follow his or her eyes around the building (this is easier with two people). Are you rushed through the house? Are your questions answered?

Go at different times
I live on a dead end street next to two schools. On weekends and after 4pm, the street is empty. During school hours, it is difficult to back out of the driveway, it is so busy. There are kids hanging around, eating lunch on our front steps (I don't mind, find it kind of nice).

Now all this information you find out may not change your mind about buying or not in the area but at least you will have less surprises after buying (don't worry, you will still have some).

Much of the criticism, I receive for this blog (anything worth doing will be criticized) has to do with putting money first, before family, before love.

Nope. I don't do that. Family and friends are important. So important that I'm not going to let lack of funds mess that up.

I know that not having money (as my family did growing up) puts stress on families. It is one of the top reasons for divorce. It causes fights. It makes people do things they'd never consider doing if they had a huge investment account doling out fat dividends.

It can even change your choice of careers. Sometimes for the better.

Shia LaBeouf, the hot young actor from Transformers and the new face in Indiana Jones talks about his experience with money...

"I was poor, and I didn't want to be poor. It had nothing to do with acting," he told Peter Travers candidly on ABC News Now's "Popcorn" about his childhood decision to seek a career in acting. "Money seemed to tear my family apart. ... For me, money was the glue."

And he was a kid at the time. He decided to act at the age of 7.

Photo taken by Simon Davison
See Link For Copyright Information

I know we have a lot of business building readers here at NoLimitsLadies.
Marketing and promo is a huge part of business building.
I'm talking today at Romance Bandits on this exact topic.

Now, most of the questions have been on book marketing
but don't let that limit you!

Single Ma over at Fabulous Financials has graciously allowed me a guest post.
I'm yapping about self definition
and how this changes the way other people react to us.

While you're there,
check out her post on Crackbucks.
It had me laughing like a fool.

By now, you're probably sick of hearing that stock phrase "Sell in May and go away." (Going away until after the expected Halloween correction.)

Too bad. (Grinning) I'm going to talk about it some more. Regular readers are probably expecting me to scoff at this hocus pocus nonsense. Well, I'm not. If the stock market was based on rational calculations and pure math, sure, this phrase doesn't make much sense. Why would stocks suffer during the summer? Why does everyone dump their stocks for fire sale prices in October? There's no reason to.

But the stock market isn't rational and it isn't reasonable (thank goodness because that's how investors find deals). It consists of a collection of rather irrational human beings and these human beings, if they expect a Halloween massacre, will create the conditions for a Halloween massacre. Darn it. Analysts be darned. Their expectations will drive actual results.

I don't personally sell in May and go away. If my stocks are good value (according to my calcs), I keep them. If they are overpriced, I sell them. If they are underpriced, I buy more. Regardless of whether it is May or January or October. I look to the long term (5-10 years). I'm wary of commissions and taxes on sales.

But that is just me. I'm not going to laugh at anyone for following the "Sell in May and go away" strategy.

Regardless of your sexual preference,
Queercents is one of the best financial blogs on the 'net.
Well, I begged and pleaded with Nina
to let me do a guest post
and guess what?
She said yes!

I'm talking about some lessons I learned from a buddy of mine
(Stanley, my character in Breach of Trust is based on him)
that helped me explore the writing field.

Come on over and check it out!

My dear, dear Mom was hinting around for a rose bush. After hearing about it for three phone calls in a row, busy me finally got the message.

I put in a call with the florist. My regular florist couldn't (wouldn't) help me so I talk to a fresh one. My order was for miniature roses. I get a call back hours later. No miniature roses, can they sub some other plant in? I tell them, well, my Mom is hinting for roses and she has a balcony, whatever you can give me that fulfills that request is a-ok with me. The timing is flexible too. All I need to know is it will happen (so I can concentrate on other things).

My Mom calls me a day later, so excited she's almost in tears. The florist didn't deliver a miniature rosebush. Nope. She delivered a tall topiary type rose tree. In a fancy clay pot matching the façade of my Mom's apartment building.

By giving the florist flexibility, my expectations were exceeded. This often happens. Why? Because it is the florist's good taste on the line with the flowers, not the customers. She takes personal responsibility and personal care.

Of course, I don't simply apply this with my florists. Even my financial advisor has flexibility. He knows what I'm looking for, sure, but he is responsible for providing reco's on the stocks.

When I buy stocks, I buy them at what I believe is lower than their long term value is. I also like stocks with dividends. Why? Because if the market tanks, I'm still getting paid.

A loved one is selling his house. His agent told him that almost all buyers will have either a home inspection or a financing clause. Why? Because that is their "out", a way for them to leave the deal without losing all of their deposit.

When we bought our house, we bought it in an established neighborhood (easier to resell than a new development) and negotiated down to a low price. We also bought a house where we could rent out the basement. Why? Because if worst comes to worst, we could and still keep the house.

When people get into trouble, financially or often otherwise, it is usually because they've painted themselves into a corner. They only have one possible satisfactory solution to their situation and if that doesn't happen… well, trouble-funk.

Always have an out. Always have an exit. And keep an eye on that exit.

I was very fortunate. By the time I graduated from university and was looking for a "serious" job, I had a few hundred interviews under my belt (not to mention sales calls). Any employer interested in hiring youngsters is also usually very interested in mentoring and coaching kids. I had built a formidable war chest of interview and job search skills.

Not everyone is as lucky and that is when books like Sylvia Landry's Ditch The Flip-Flops come in handy. Think of it as What Color Is Your Parachute for the under 30 crowd.

This book is very detailed with tips like "Keep your shoes in a single neutral color, with a heel that is no more than about two inches high" and walks new grads from resume to acceptance. (BTW… Landry prefers skirts on female interviewees also, blasted traditional folk).

Now, you and I might read this book and think "no brainer, no brainer, and why do I need to be told things like keep mints, gum, food, anywhere other than in your mouth?" However, having been on the other side of the desk a few too many times, I know many people need to reminded that obscene words are not appropriate on answering machine greetings (I had to look up some of the cuss words used on one applicant's message).

We're heading into both wedding season
and new house season
(the summer months)
so I thought it would be helpful to talk about
setting up a new house.

Money On My Mind has kindly allowed me to guest post
on this subject.
Come on over and have a read!

I got a good giggle over a renovating show I watched on the weekend. The couple bragged about their environmentally friendly house. Okay, some of the things they did were very kind to the environment, I'll happily agree (envying them their solar panels), but some… not so much.

For example: They talked about hardwood floors made from trees killed naturally by beetles. That would have been great except that to put these new gorgeous floors in, they tore out perfectly good existing floors. Wouldn't it have been more environmentally friendly to simply refinish the old floors?

The same thinking could apply to their walls and furniture. Yes, the kitchen table were designed by the Amish but what about the kitchen table they used to have? Where did that go? The landfill?

Then, there was the front yard. Yes, the green lawn they had took more water but instead of letting that die naturally and replacing it slowly with area friendly plants, they tore everything out. And they toppled a fir tree (that was the biggest shocker).

My first step along the road of being "green" is, when it doesn't mess with energy efficiency, I look long and hard at working with what I do have. Then if that doesn't work for me (for example: I want shutters in a bad, bad way), I look at reuse, used, and antique stores. No new trees killed and possibly things kept out of the landfill.

Oh, and it saves money too (especially, I'm finding on the shutters).

The hubby and I are going to two, count them two, housewarmings this weekend. The invite conversations were both the same. I get the call with the info. Can we come? Sure (answering for the hubby as I'm the entertainment director in the family). What do you want us to bring? Nothing, just yourself. (Great, I'm thinking, now I have to figure something out.). What do you need? Nothing, just happy guests.

I don't know about you but I'd be a much happier guest if I knew what the hostess wanted. For some reason, hostesses think that not stating a preference is "polite" and "nice."

It isn't. It is a pain in the butt for guests. We all know we have to bring something (in Chinese culture, it is easier, you simply bring cash or gift certificates). Now we have to guess, sight unseen (because that is the point behind a house warming, we haven't seen the house yet), what a couple, and in our case, an older, more established couple, want.

That's why as a frequent hostess, I always have a list of things I need and want for any get together. I leave gaps in my meal planning (usually dessert because then it doesn't matter when guests show up, beverages are tricky because it is needed right away). Friends have things like gardening parties where everyone brings a garden tool (watch out for the hoe jokes though) or pool parties where people bring pool stuff.

This serves as a good starter for conversations also, gets people talking.

I have a guest post over at Blunt Money today,
talking about some considerations when setting up house
for the first time.

Please pop by and say hi!

I often hear "It's not the destination, it's the journey." Sure, it is great to enjoy the ride once you're on it but for planning, concentrate on the destination. Anything else is too limiting.

For example:

The hubby and I are taking a cruise out of Barcelona. We want to see another country before Spain. We aren't too fussy about which country (we travel A LOT, we've seen most of Europe). The only limitation is that we have to be in Barcelona on a certain date.

Our first thought was to pop in to visit a dear honorary Uncle (an "Uncle" who is really a close friend of the family) in London. Our lodging would be free. Our food would be close to free (Uncle makes a won ton soup to die for). All we'd have to do is pay for transportation and incidentals.

The hubby kept our options open and continued looking. Turns out, a stay in Paris (LOVE Paris, being an art buff) even with the added cost of hotel and food would be less expensive (we're still seeing Uncle in London after the cruise).

We never would have seen that option if we hadn't continued looking.

That applies to wealth building too. The hubby and I have a combined target net worth we wish to reach. Our vehicle of choice thus far has been the bargain basement purchasing of beat up stocks. Does that mean we'll drive that beast forever? Nope. We continue to look for better and faster ways to get to our goals.

No, not THAT House Of Mouse. I'm not going to talk about Disney. Quite the opposite. If you don't like rodent talk, you might want to come back tomorrow.

Recently we found out we have mice or as the hubby sweetly thought A mouse (coming from the farm, I knew there's no such thing as A mouse, mice like hanging with their buddies).

At first, we were in denial. Our house is not dirty. Being quite empty and usually devoid of life, it is easy to keep clean. The hubby also wanted to know what the mice were eating 'cause he sure wasn't getting fed (I'm thinking they were ordering takeout).

But we weren't in denial for too long. One night, we left a bag of beef jerky open and out. The next morning, half the bag was done. We found it strewn underneath the stove (guess the mice didn't know there was no cooking necessary with beef jerky). Yep, we had ourselves mice and not the regular type either, snacking on breads and crackers. Nope, we have carnivore mice, the deadliest of all the rodents.

We went through the icky process of getting rid of them. We set up the live traps (with jerky 'cause our mice don't like the suggested peanut butter, I'm thinking they have allergies). We checked them every day. We then had to take long road trips out to the country (because they kept coming back, same mice).

The biggest lesson was one I seem destined to repeat over and over again. A dollar of prevention would have prevented a whole lot of grief. If we had spent a hundred dollars or so and covered the house with those sonic pest control devices, we likely wouldn't have had this problem in the first place.

The Annual MasterCard Worldwide "Women In Small Business" survey shows that the number of women majority owned businesses grew at almost double the rate of all businesses (42% vs 23%).

That is great news! We are both starting businesses and retaining ownership.

All, but one, of the challenges to female led small businesses don't surprise me. They are the classics.

- Stretching ourselves across multiple roles and projects (21%),
(aka being an average woman)
- Healthcare costs (12%),
- Balancing family and work (11%),
and
- Lack of time to focus on generating new business (11%).

Which did I find surprising? The last one. Lack of time for sales and marketing.

Not that we have plenty of time for sales and marketing. Not by a long shot. I set aside a couple hours a day for my book promotions and I still don't think that is enough.

But what is surprising and healthy is that we recognize we don't have enough time. Usually, although it is business critical, sales and marketing is low down on an entrepreneur's busy to-do list.

Other interesting insights include that 41% of us use an accountant for financial management (29% use software) and that 18% of female led small businesses don't have a business credit or debit card. Yikes. I couldn't survive without mine.

There are unfortunately a lot of people out there talking a good game. They'll tell you they have your back (if they have to actually tell you that, odds are, they don't) but when change happens, good or bad, they're "unavailable."

When I was laid off, I was given two months notice to work at home (after that I'd be officially laid off and offered a severance). It looked to the world like the company cut me off immediately and I was hurting too much to explain the situation.

A funny thing happened. Some people started not returning phone calls or emails or would dodge lunches/dinners/family bbq's. I was surprised at who these people were (yep family and folks I thought were good friends).

I was also surprised at who the supporters were. The executive assistant I covered up a mistake for years before? She called a friend at another Fortune 500 company. They didn't have an opening… yet, but they expressed an interest in seeing me.

When I landed on my feet (At the end of the two months, another division of the company offered me a position. I turned that down, took the very generous severance, and went to a customer.), suddenly everyone was my friend again.

Now, I don't hold grudges but I DO remember whom I can count on. Those people I'd fly half way around the world to help out. And all it took was a returned email of support.

The interesting thing is that this happens with success also. This past week, when I was doing my shameless promoting, I heard "I'd book you on my blog but my female readers don't read romance" or "I'd buy your book IF I read romance" or "I don't read eBooks. Let me know when it is in print."

Then there is the opposite end of the spectrum. The brother who haunted the website because he wanted to be the very first buyer, the bloggers who offered up space as soon as they heard about the book launch, the friends, family, blog readers who bought the $6 book just to show their support. Heck, the people who emailed their congrats (I saved each one).

You think I'll remember these names? Yep. Until the day I die.

One of my best buddies got a Blackberry a couple weeks ago. She is already addicted. She checks it every five minute (yes, even during dinner out at restaurants). During my summers at home writing (on the computer), I have the same issue with email (sometimes I get lonely with only my imaginary characters for company). And we all know someone with a phone permanently attached to her ear.

Why is this a problem? Because it is a time suck. It eats up valuable minutes in an already time stressed day. It also distracts us from getting real wealth building work done.

What do I do?

Setting Boundaries

I check my email first thing in the morning (y'all know I'm very good at not moderating blog comments 24-7), then at lunch break, and again after my chapter for the day is done. I don't stress about email while on vacation (though I sometimes check it as it is the easiest way to get a hold of me).

But, but, but, my boss/hubby/best friend/petsitter expects me to…

Setting Expectations

I don't answer the phone at home during the day. I've told everyone this. My excuse? I get too many telemarketing calls (true) but the interesting side effect is that I suddenly am in control of the phone. No one expects me to answer so if it rings, I can ignore it and continue writing.

I do the same thing with email. I say that I'll check email at so and so times. The hubby does this with his boss while on vacation. He sets up a checking in schedule.

Bosses understand. They ARE hiring you to get things accomplished. They simply would like to be in contact on a timely basis. It is up to the two of you together to define timely.

Remember that phones, PDA's, computers are tools. You are the master. They answer to YOU.

You might have noticed that last Thursday, I announced my book launch. The issue is that no one could buy it on Thursday. The online bookstore hadn't yet loaded my eBook. A bit embarrassing, especially since I broke one of the first rules of grand openings/launches…

One should announce a grand opening/launch well after the actual start date.

Yeah, this is a rule I never would have messed with for anyone's launch other than my own. Why? There are a number of reasons.

One is that I've never, in my decades of new business development (okay, less than 2 decades, don't make me older than I am), ever known a project to launch on time (I thought my book would be the first but…).

Another is that the first week or two of "new" brings with it problems, hiccups, issues. For a new store or restaurant opening, the staff is new. Every customer request is a "first." Service is slow. They're trying to find their rhythm.

Do you really want to add vast amounts of traffic during this time? Nope. You want the store/restaurant/product launch to be the "best", not the first, when the eager masses experience it.

I was okay. Other than telling my understanding readers on this site (I HAD to tell someone), I hadn't planned any other media/press events (my first is today). I also had free stories on my site readers could entertain themselves with while they waited for the book (always have a backup – another project lesson).

I had big plans for today.

Yesterday was the last day of my contract gig (or more accurately last night as management realized at the last minute I really wouldn't be coming in the next day).

Today is the first day of my summer writing stint with my lofty goal of a chapter a day. It is also book launch day (yippee!! Breach Of Trust is finally out!). For that, I have a target of at least one major marketing activity a day. Oh, and I plan to wake up every morning at the crack of dawn and go for a run (the soup heavy diet is only losing me so much weight).

Today, I didn't.

Go for a run, that is. Sure, I woke up at the crack of dawn and went for a walk, but that was it, a walk. I also doubt I'll write a chapter today. I'd be pleased to finish reworking the first chapter of an upcoming contest entry instead. The marketing activity for today is done (if this post counts – grinning – no, no, I've done more than that).

Yep, I'm taking a half day.

You can only run at full speed for so long before you need to stop (or slow) and catch your breath. Somedays I just need a break. Today was one of those days.

I have friends that try to work through the break. It usually doesn't work out well. They either mess up big time (because they're burnt out), snap at people they care about, or get seriously ill (and then sit on the bus next to me, sneezing and sniffling).

So if you need a break, take it. Just make sure the break doesn't last too long (watching Oprah is addictive and bad for the investment account).

Hey, if you need reading material for that break… (you knew I'd get another plug in there, didn't you?)

Today is the last day on the contract gig. This placement was something different for me. Not only was it in a not-for-profit but it was in Treasury (my usual strength is new business development).

What did I learn over these past 6 months?

1. Cash Flow Is King.
The first thing I did every morning was check the cash balances in all the accounts. I’d look at the transactions for the day, compare them to the same day last year, ensure we had cash for the outstanding checks, and invest any excess money.

Application To Personal: I now also check my personal bank accounts every day. I look at upcoming expenses and make sure we have enough cash to cover them.

2. There Is No Lazy Money.
Any excess money the company had would be invested, even if it was in a high interest yielding account for a single day. That single day’s income was immaterial but added up over the year, it came to millions of dollars.

Application To Personal: High yield interest accounts are available to personal investors. Although we need to be more aware of fees, we can use them to take advantage of the timing of cash flows. Our emergency funds should be relatively safe but still invested.

3. The Past Predicts The Future.
One of the “cheats” to predicting future cash flow was to look at the past. I did this by overwriting the previous year’s daily tracking with this year’s numbers. That way, I could see the revenues and expenses for up to a year ahead.

Application To Personal: I keep my bank statements from year to year. Why? So I can scan them for any upcoming expenses (or less likely revenue) that I might have forgotten about. I can see that December is a big spend month. I can see that we have a big insurance payment in June.

4. Investments Are Matched To Timeframes.
I had a few vehicles available to invest excess money (this was set by the Board). I had the high yield savings account for the very short term, bonds and T-Bills for the medium term and money market funds (due to risk and fees) for the long term. Where I invested depended on how soon the company would need the money.

Application To Personal: Personal investors can use the same three buckets with the addition of stocks to the long term, matching risk to timeframes.

5. Rebalance Regularly.
In the funds, the Board had a set allocation between local, global and other money market funds. It was monitored daily and reported on monthly. When global exceeded the allowed range, money was re-allocated to local.

Application to Personal: Although I don’t reco this being locked in (as the corporate allocation was), having a goal allocation between different asset classes reminds investors to sell high and buy low.

Looking around the personal finance blogosphere, I see that my fellow bloggers are dropping like flies. No, no, they’re not dying or anything like that (thank goodness and knock on wood). They’re healthy. They’re even still blogging. Just that they’re no longer blogging about personal finance.

E, my former blog partner, left for bigger and better opps months back. YoungAndBroke is now CakesAndAle. RichMinx now covers every topic under the sun. That’s only a few of the changes (and yes, I know that I have to update my sidebar, will do that after the book launch).

Why?

Is it because they’re no longer investing? Is wealth building not working for them? If that’s the case, and they, as “experts” can’t make it work, how can you as a reader?

No, no, no. They’ve changed the focus of their sites because, frankly, blogging about wealth building is boring. Most of us are one trick ponies. We find a technique that works and we work it until it doesn’t work anymore. Not exactly exciting writing material.

We’re also restricted to the fields we play in. I, luckily, have business building in my investing mix. That is a bit more interesting than I bought Citigroup today at $XX and sold MicroSoft at $XX and… (are your eyes rolling back in your head yet?).

However, I didn’t talk a lot about the subprime mess because I don’t invest in real estate (directly, I do hold REITs and bought some sure and steady’s during the meltdown). Why display my ignorance? There are other bloggers with actual experience in that field.

So don’t look at these changes as discouraging. Look at them as “this investing business is so simple that it doesn’t require years of learning.”

It happens to me all the time.

I gradually become more and more free with my spending until I’m on the verge of compromising my investing goals. It starts with the little things, a pack of gum purchased at a convenience store instead of at Costco (at three times the price). Then I forgo the brown bagging it and eat lunch out one day as a “treat.” Oh, and there’s a new romance novel. Yes, I could borrow it for free from the library but just this once… Before I know it, I’m burning through my two week allowance in a couple of days.

I think a lot of us have this problem. I think that might be why most North Americans are in debt. We don’t spend in big chunks, we build up the spending until we can’t pay for it all.

Luckily, I have the cash allowance restraining me. I also have a once a year money panic as the hubby and I prepare for my summer writing time off (on Thursday, thank goodness). January, after the holiday spend, is another period of natural spending pull back.

But I must still deal with spend creep. What do I do? I go cold turkey. No “treats” for a week or two. This forced deprivation resets my expectations. Like a purging or fasting. Still wanting to feel like a princess, I look for other free ways (like borrowing 30 books from the library). These creative solutions are like games for me. How to do it for less.

Then I start small again.

Is it the best solution? I don’t know. I know it does work for me. What do you do?

A couple of weeks ago, I talked about how to find a job during a recession, but, after reading Single Ma’s career adventures, how about the opposite? How does one leave a job?

First off, I realize that the time for grievances and complaints is over as soon as I tender that resignation. From that time on, I'll be looked at as a former employee, an outsider, and what I say will be weighed accordingly. My time to change the organization has passed.

To tender my resignation, I write up a very formal resignation letter with my last day outlined. I always offer at least two weeks notice but I know that as soon as I hand over that letter, I could be walked out. I pack up my things (including my contact list) the night before.

I assume that the resignation letter will live forever. I don’t put anything personal in it and nothing negative. Usually mine say

(Name)
(Home Address)
(Today’s Date)

Dear (Manager);

As of (departure date), I will no longer be with (company). I appreciate my time and experience with (company) and will be happy to train my replacement. Please feel free to contact me at (home phone number) with any questions after (departure date).

Thank you,

My Name

Yep, very simple.

I set up a meeting with my manager with a hairy fairy subject line like Staffing Issues. That usually gives her some heads up. I walk in, I sit down, I hand over the letter and as she reads it, I make small talk.

If she asks why, I say I was offered an opportunity I couldn't pass up.

I never accept counter offers. Remember that as soon as I tender my resignation, I'm looked at as an outsider, a traitor to the company. A counter offer doesn’t change that. The manager might offer it to buy some time but if she is smart, she will spend it looking for my replacement. The first neck the next axe lands on will be mine.

Because I don’t accept counter offers, I don’t talk about compensation. Nothing ticks a former manager off like hearing I now make more than her. I’d rather not tick anyone off, especially someone I’ll likely need a future reference from.

The manager will want to know where I'm going. I don’t share this information. The working world is small. Odds are the manager or some of her manager buds know someone in the new organization. I would rather they not gossip about me before I even start. There is no benefit to sharing and lots of potential problems.

My response?
The situation is delicate so I’d rather not share at this time. You understand.
"The situation is delicate" is manager code for the employee I'm replacing hasn't yet got her butt fired. "At this time" is added to show that I'd like to stay in contact with my manager after I leave (remember that precious reference). "You understand" reminds the manager that she could be in the hiring manager's shoes and she wouldn't want it talked about either.

I hold firm against inquiries, knowing that my silence drives more respect, not less. It shows that I'm mature enough to keep my mouth shut. You'd be surprised at what your now ex-manager will tell you in that sort of situation.

This holds with co-workers. They don’t need to know where I'm going (I usually tell them it is "bad luck" to say what company I'm working for before I start and I don't want to "jinx" it), how much I'm making, or even why I'm leaving. Any of this information will simply serve to make them feel bad and cause hard feelings. Again, the working world is small. I assume I’ll work with my team members again.

It is my manager's job to notify co-workers, clients, and other work relationships. I'll confirm that in that first meeting and I'll offer to give my manager a list of people she should contact. If she wishes for me to notify them, I'll send an email or phone them and say that I've decided to leave the company but my manager (or some other point person) would be happy to help them. Again, less information the better. Most business associates care less about me than how me leaving will affect them. It is my job to make the change as easy as possible.

I give co-workers my personal (or a temporary) email for contacting. I have personal business cards for this purpose. If they give me their personal contact information, I will contact them first after leaving (telling them where I'm working and in what capacity - remember the contact list is gold). If not, I wait for them to contact me. Once I leave the company, unless I receive an email first, the company email list is off limits.

Human resources will often set up an exit interview. Exit interviews are seldom used or looked at, unless I make a fool out of myself (did that on my first real job). Then they will be shared with the entire management team (and I'll hear about it decades later). They have no upside (if I want to blow off steam, that is what non-work buddies are for) and all downside for me. I tend to avoid or refuse them for that reason.

On my last day, I always bring in some sort of baked goods (donuts) or treats for the team. If I get a going away lunch, I only speak favorably of my time there and my associates. If there are buddies that have helped me out a lot, I'll send an email to their managers telling them why this buddy is fantastic with concrete examples of their superstardom. This has helped land promotions for many and has earned me some loyalty.

When I start my new job, I don't talk badly of my old job. The new company hired me for that experience. They don't want to hear that experience wasn't worth the cash. Also my new manager will assume that I'll talk about her or her company the same way when I eventually leave there. Not a good scene.

With the book launch a week and a day away, I know I need to do some marketing. I wish I could devote 24/7 to it (I do love marketing so). The thing is… I’m still on the contract gig for another week, I have my blogs, I am finishing up a contest entry for the end of the month (testing a new plot), I have my core investing to do, and, of course, my loved ones to spend time with. I don’t have a lot of excess time.

I’ve outsourced some of the marketing (the hubby, master banner maker, can vouch for that) but some of it, I need to do myself. How do I do it? By tackling one or two marketing projects a night.

Yep, I’m marketing by drips and drabs.

It doesn’t sound like much, doing one marketing task every night but think about it… if I write, say, one guest blog post a night, that’s 365 guest posts a year, capturing potential new readers from 365 different blogs. That’s a lot of new readers.

One thing to keep in mind though is because you’re marketing in drips and drabs, your results will come in drips and drabs too. A buddy does all her marketing in one big hurray. She’ll then email, telling me about the 5 interview requests she received in one day. Me? I might have the same amount of requests but they’ll be spread out over a longer period of time.

But I’ll still get them and that is better than not receiving any at all.

The hubby always gets nervous when I take the summer off. I don’t think it has to do with lack of income but more like he then feels 100% responsible for paying the bills (as we don’t wish to dip into our passive income).

So right before I wind up the contract gig, we play the “if we needed cash flow in a hurry game.” We look at everything we have and outline how we could earn cash off of it.

For example:
We have a four bedroom house with a big empty unfinished basement for the two of us. The obvious choices are renting out rooms or renting space in the basement for storage (to friends and family) or running a computer camp with our multitude of computers (the hubby is in Information Technology) or…

We’ll look at almost everything we have and think of its earning or resale potential. Knowing that we could tap into it gives us the confidence and security to take a few more risks.

You might think it is silly but it does have an interesting side effect.

You see, knowing that we’ll do this every year, changes the way we think about purchases. When we were purchasing furniture, we leaned towards antiques because we knew we could always resell those pieces for as much as or more than we paid. When we bought a lawnmower, we didn’t buy the cheapest one out there. Instead, we bought one that could cut multiple lawns (potential business).

This thinking offsets our normally overly frugal attitudes.

My contract gig wraps up (finally) April 30th. Starting May 1st and lasting until the fall, I’ll be concentrating on my upcoming book launch and writing one new novel and two new novellas.

Although the hubby and I invest 100% of my salary (we’re simple burgers and fries type people, no need for a huge salary), we still do a few things to prepare.

Budget Longer Term
Usually we budget on a two week basis matching our pay schedules (every two weeks). During my time off, I draft up a mini budget for the entire duration. There will only be the hubby’s salary so if the roof needs replacing, the car needs huge repairs, and a great investing opp comes up, we’ll need more cash.

That leads me to the next point.

Increase the cash buffer
Lately, because of the good bargains out there (both in the stock market and in the resale goods market), we’ve been flying pretty darn close to the zero excess cash line. Yeah… being a conservative gal, I’m a little nervous about that. The last few weeks, however, we’ve been socking a bit more away… just in case.

Trading Time For Money
We’re not exactly big spenders but during the double income time, we are a little freer with our cash. The meals are more instant than usual. The laundry is dried in the dryer instead of on the line. The hubby eats boxed cereal instant of oatmeal. When we switch over to one income, all that spend happiness switches over also. Is that a bad thing? Actually, a big no. The hubby prefers oatmeal (with raisins and brown sugar – he’s a big kid at heart). Nothing beats the smell of laundry dried on the line. And plunking a roast in the crockpot isn’t exactly the depths of deprivation.
How do we prepare for that? We don’t buy boxed cereal or fabric softener sheets or Hungry Man dinners.

Basically, it is all about planning ahead.

The hubby and I are looking at two stocks. Both stocks have sold off recently (due to the subprime/Bear Stearns messes). One stock has been hit more heavily than the other. There is a possibility there may be more bad news for this stock. This is partially factored into today's price but there would still be a drop upon the announcement. I expect both stocks to eventually recover to their historic p/e's.

So all other things being equal, which one should we buy?

It depends. If we needed the cash in a couple months, neither (too risky). If we needed the cash in a couple years, likely the one without the possibility of more bad news. If we needed the cash in five years (and wait for a drop), we'd lean towards the riskier stock.

You see, time frames matter in investing. They matter A LOT. A good deal for a day trader may not be a good deal for a long term investor. A good deal for a long term investor is usually not a good deal for a day trader. The investments for your emergency fund should not be the same investments for your retirement fund.

That's why I get nervous while watching stock shows with the "expert" tossing out buy, sell or hold recommendations. I also get squirrelly when people say all their money (funds for kiddie education, retirement, a new car) is invested the same way.

I read once in a Brian Tracy book that safety and freedom are mutually exclusive. The safest people in the world have no freedom.

You want to be pretty darn safe? Go to jail. There you don't have to worry about when or where to eat, sleep, or exercise. All that is decided for you.

You want freedom? Then you'll be putting yourself at risk. You might (and will) hurt yourself. You cross the road enough times and something is going to happen (especially this winter, I landed on my butt a few times).

Years ago, some financial advisors gave bad advice and people lost money. Now there is a rule stating that financial advisors can't mention investments until the client asks about them. This severely limited my returns because I didn't know what I didn’t know. I still don’t know if there is some fantastic "secret" investment vehicle out there that I don't know about.

Even more years ago, some investors lost their life's savings investing in risky vehicles. Now there's a rule saying that unless an investor is "qualified" (i.e. wealthy), they can't invest in these high risk/high return vehicles. It doesn't matter how smart or knowledgeable you are, unless you have a lot of money, you can't play.

That is why I shudder when I hear people talk about putting more rules in to "protect" investors from bubbles such as the subprime mess. Heck, I heard one talking head suggest that unqualified investors (i.e. investors without a bunch of cash) shouldn't be allowed to invest in stocks. You read that right! According to him, the average person should be limited to fee heavy mutual and index funds.

If I had those limitations while building my wealth, I would have never reached the qualified investor level. I would have been shut out of the investing game.

Yes, I know that it is sad people lost money. Yes, I know that we have a very commendable impulse to protect others. But think it over very, very carefully before taking the freedom to invest away.

They're the internet generation. Born between 1979 and 1999 to the huge cohort of baby boomers, Gen Y is now entering the workforce en mass. Many of us will be selling to them, working with them, and managing them. We even could be them.

So what is the best way to communicate with Gen Y's?

You'd be surprised to know, this tech friendly generation would prefer to communicate… in person. Yep, you read that right. According to a recent survey by Robert Half, two-thirds of Gen Y's would prefer face-to-face communication over phone, email, text message, or other means.

It makes sense, if you think about it. Although coming from smaller families, this generation grew up in daycare. They've spent most of their lives in school, surrounded by other people.

Another interesting finding was that 73% expected to go back to school, at some time, to obtain another degree. Rather than the slacker image the media has given them, Gen Y's EXPECT to be continually learning, to work hard to stay current throughout their career.

I think that is something other generations should borrow from Gen Y. I've decided to take a college course this summer because my skills are getting a bit rusty. I haven't decided what in but I think it will likely be tech based (that field moves so quickly).

I've worked with married couples before.

Even in the best situations, although the wives and husbands did not flaunt their status, I KNEW that when push came to shove, they would back each other up. It would be them against me, putting me at a distinct disadvantage.

In the worst situations, it was like a mini-soap opera every day at work. I'd hear personal arguments that shouldn't have been held at work. It was awkward. It was uncomfortable. It got in the way of business.

Yep, working together should be considered carefully. Starting a business together even more so.

As Carley Roney and David Liu, married co-founders of The Knot pointed out to TIME, "If you want venture capital, being a husband-and-wife team is not looked very kindly upon. And we didn't know if it was something that would help us or hurt us. We also had two other business partners, so we wanted to be seen as equals. But it was funny — AOL gave us the money and never knew. People would ask, "Are you married?" and we would say yes but implying that it was to somebody who wasn't in the room. In the end, we considered it a competitive advantage because we were working from the moment we were brushing our teeth in the morning to the moment our heads hit the pillows at night. "

I think it helped that they didn't have the same last name, pointing out their coupledom. It also helped that they intentionally left their married status at home, dealing with each other professionally (at least in front of others).

Being a touchy feely gal, I'd find that very challenging to do.

I tend to watch tv less during recessions. All that fear mongering by the media gets on my nerves but more importantly, I'm too busy with opportunities.

Opportunities? But-but-but isn't it a recession?

Yep, believe it or not, opportunities don't go away during a recession. Some do, true, but others surface to replace them. Many self made millionaires are "made" during bad economic times.

What are some opps to think about?

How about the affordable luxury market? Did you know that there's something called the Lipstick Index? Lipstick sales tend to increase during bad economic times. We might not be able to afford our Manolo Blaniks but we can buy a fresh tube of bright red lipstick. One of my buddies in the reno business is banking on homeowners freshening up their houses with paint, an inexpensive way to give an older home a new look.

What about buying some of those high quality, income producing stocks during the fearful sell offs? I know I need to look closely at financial statements and think about how an economic downturn will affect cash flow but there are and will be some bargains out there.

If you're a top notch salesgal, well, a recession is prime time to make a move. Not only will your current employer want to keep you (perhaps giving up some of the valuable equity), but other companies will be looking for producers also. Rainmen and women not only bring the rain but do best during it.

Decades ago, I graduated into a tough job market. I had a university degree in accounting and about two years of relevant working experience. I managed to land a job to pay the rent upon graduating and six months later, I used that job to get a better job (entry positions are called that for a reason, you're not supposed to stay there).

How did I do that?

I was prepared. I had my resume polished and waiting since my last work experience. Even today, I always keep it updated. You never know who might ask for it.

I started early in the job search. About three months before graduating. Sounds early but getting an office job takes at least a month from the time you apply. It is a LONG process.

I was flexible. I preferred to work in the big smoke (where the boyfriend/now hubby lived) but I could have worked anywhere. I preferred to work in the accounting field but I looked at every office job.

I swallowed my pride. The job I did land was receptionist/LAN administrator/bookkeeper/salesgal/coffee maker for a small, small company.

I applied for everything. To get that first job, I sent out over 800 resumes (after 800, I stopped counting). I'd send it to anyone and everyone I knew. I'd ask the bus driver if he knew of any openings (seriously). I'd haunt the different daily papers. I was listed with multiple recruiters (though they weren't helpful because they prefer to place folks who are already working). Since this was pre-email friendly days, I had to fax most of the applications. I tweaked the cover letter for each application, addressing all the "wants" in the ad. Getting that first job was a full time job.

When I was interviewed, I was also flexible. Start date tomorrow? Sure. It involved a bit of a commute? Sure. Overtime required? Okay.

Sounds like a lot, right? But remember that no one says you have to stop looking after you land a job (I didn't) and it is much easier getting a job once you have a job.

For more ideas, see Scoble's post on what to do if you're laid off.

I watched a show on CNN about the subprime meltdown. There were a bunch of experts on it finger pointing, assigning blame everywhere except to the "victims."

We all know finger pointing doesn't help anyone. Often suing people doesn't help anyone (other than the lawyers). And I feel it actually hurts the "victim."

Why?

Because to call someone a victim immediately puts them in a place of powerlessness. All the power and control goes to the attacker, not to the victim. I don't know about you but taking all my power away from me is not going to help me.

It also gives people an excuse not to learn. Many of the subprime "victims" are also dot com "victims." Because the dot com mess wasn't their fault (I guess they were forced to buy the stocks), they didn't look at the situation and ask themselves "what could I have done differently?" and because they didn't do that, the next time they invested, they DIDN'T do anything differently. I suspect that a few years from now, they'll be another bubble "victim."

A few years ago, swayed by one of the talking heads on the tv, I bought into energy services stocks. Luckily I only bought a few shares. Luckily because I didn't do any research. I bought blindly. Heck, I was so ignorant, I didn't even know they were cyclical beasts.

I lost money. Sure, I could point my finger at the expert and blame him but why? I bought the stocks. I didn't do my research. I didn't listen to the other experts saying to stay away (for every expert pushing an investment, there is always one saying "stay away"). I was impatient. I was emotional. I got greedy. I lost money.

Now I try to be patient. I try not to be as emotional. I ask myself "Kimber, are you being a greedy Gus here?" It has made me a better investor.

Erin at Country Financial forwarded me a link to their latest survey.

Some key highlights?

While both men and women are worried about funding the retirement lifestyle they want, women have the additional worry that we'll run out of money completely (the bag lady syndrome – unique to women). One reason why E and I started this blog.

The other is that most of us know we should start investing early for retirement but we don't do anything about this. Unfortunately Country Financial didn't ask why there was this gap between good intentions and action. I suspect it is because retirement when you're 20 years old is far in the future and happy hour with buddies is only hours away.

That's why I don't talk a lot about retirement here. I don't think amassing a pile of cash to magically spend when you're 65 should be the goal. I prefer it to be having the ability to maintain a desired lifestyle at any age.

Last week I spent $2,000 buying a REIT paying me $200 a year. That's exactly how I thought about… $200 a year for the rest of my life. That buys me 2 nights at a hotel in Vegas. If I didn't spend that money this year, I could stay 4 nights next year. I see the reward within the year. Not 30 years from now.

When I first started investing, I'd invest $20 to earn $2 a year. Doesn’t sound like much, right? But that $2 will pay for a pain du chocolat in Paris every year for the rest of my life. It made investing that $20 so much easier.

This week, we've been chatting with Emily Humphreys-Beher, Trust Officer with Community Bank & Trust of Florida, about estate plans.

Today, we'll finish off the series with Emily's estate planning advice for business owners and investors.

What special considerations should female business owners and investors have in an estate plan?

If you are a business owner, you have a major worry: business succession. You may wish to have key person insurance and a business succession plan ready. Even in the case of a family run business, they may need extra money to keep going during the transition. There are more complicated estate planning techniques available to you to minimize estate taxes, and you should definitely see an attorney experienced in estate planning to help you. For everyone, make sure that your Will and the way your accounts are titled are in sync. For instance, you can’t leave an account or property in joint name with right of survivorship to someone else in your Will. All of your documents and accounts need to be planned for cohesively.

As Emily advises, it is best to see a professional about your estate plan. You worked hard for your assets, take the extra time to ensure the assets are treated properly.

Yesterday, Emily Humphreys-Beher, Trust Officer with Community Bank & Trust of Florida, let us know why we all need estate plans.

Today, we'll cover some common mistakes.

I see that you’re based out of Florida. How important is it to have local assistance with estate planning?

I’m not a big fan of do-it-yourself documents. Some states (such as Florida) have different requirements for signatures and witnesses, and you always want to cite state law in your documents. You can find attorneys that have estate planning packages (a Will, Power-of-Attorney, Living Will and Healthcare Surrogate documents) at fairly reasonable prices. Sometimes you pay a little, but get a lot in return. Professionals may ask questions that make you think in a new way about your options.

I'm not a fan of do-it-yourself documents either. For one thing, I'm lazy. For another, I'm certainly no expert in the law.

What is the number one mistake you see with estate plans?

Failure to plan at all. If you have no plan, the state has one for you! The second most common mistake I see is in naming beneficiaries of life insurance and retirement plans. If you get divorced or remarry, especially, you need to take a look at these documents and make changes. Don’t overlook the contingent beneficiary, especially if you are married and you and your spouse often travel together.

Great tip about the contingent beneficiary. That's a must for the hubby and I as we travel often and usually together.

Tomorrow we'll talk about special considerations for female business owners and investors.

Estate Plans. We haven't talked about them and you KNOW we should.

Not being qualified myself to discuss them. Emily Humphreys-Beher, a Trust Officer with Community Bank & Trust of Florida, generously offered to be interviewed.

I’m 36 years old. Do I really need an estate plan?

Yes. By the time you are 36, you probably have at least some assets. An estate plan can be as simple as a Will, and naming your beneficiaries in any life insurance or retirement plans or as complicated as family limited partnerships or multiple trusts. The degree of complexity in an estate plan depends on several factors: how your assets are already titled, whether you have children and a spouse, and the degree of wealth you’ve attained. There may be other factors, too, such as being a single parent with young children or providing for a relative with disabilities. Estate planning boils down to the most efficient way to pass on your assets, exert control when necessary, and alleviate the expense of probate and estate taxes.

If I already have an estate plan (I do), when should I update it?

I think that the recent examples of Heath Ledger and Anna Nicole Smith remind us that whenever you have a major life event (such as the birth of a child) you need to get that Will out and make any necessary changes. In any event, you should read through your documents every couple of years and make sure your intent is the same.

Tomorrow, we'll talk about whether we need local estate planning assistance and what the biggest mistakes, Emily sees with estate plans.

Working with spouses is tough. So tough that Donald Trump insists that it helped break up his first marriage.

Working with editors is tough. Their entire job is to pick up (and make better) your precious writing.

So when I heard that Carol McPhee, author of Something About That Lady and Alaskan Magic, had her husband do the pre-edit of her novels, I knew I had to interview her.

I remember reading that your hubby gives you first feedback on your
novels. What advice can you give writers and businesspeople working with their
spouses?

Great question and one I've not been asked before. If the spouse is interested enough to read your work expect he/she will be your most vocal critic and your most honest one. Be open to any comments and suggestions because the spouse is looking at the story from a different point of view... one that wants you to be the best you can be. Willing spouses are worth their weight in gold.

Writing a novel is a huge undertaking. Could you share with us your time management tips?

I firmly believe in writing something everyday. The length doesn't matter, nor even the quality. What does matter is that you set yourself in another mindset fully prepared to let your imagination run rampant for the length of time you have available. I start writing at 4am anywhere I happen to be and try to get in at least an hour of fresh writing while there are no interruptions. That accomplished, the rest of my day is generally spent on critiquing other writers' works, promoting my novels and taking workshops to improve my skills.

4am? Yowsers, I thought I was good with my 6am start.

With Carol being a dietitian, I couldn't resist a question on health.

If you could give one piece of advice on diet and nutrition, what would it be?

Haha! Eat lean and mean, then go treat yourself to extra dark chocolate.

Hear that? Eat chocolate. Carol says so.

For more info on Carol's fab romances, hop on over to http://www.geocities.com/carolmcphee2003/

Okay, I wanted to do a post with content from The MavHERick Mind.

I considered talking about leadership. "A leader is someone that is willing to do what others won't and do so with empathy and understanding."

Or talking about different success terrain. "A corporate battleground and an entrepreneurial battleground possess different soil, different conditions."

Or how to deal with resource zappers. "In your life, when presented with individuals who wish to have you battle them, think of them as children that just don't know better."

Or how yapping about other people (a mistake I often make) keeps us stuck in the past. "If I had continued to talk about the situation, repeating all the details, I would have kept myself caught up in a past event reliving my frustration."

But my fave section in The MavHERick Mind is Liz's discussion about how money, having it, making it, is not crass but a beautiful thing. "She understands that to affect the world in the way she wishes - the way she has imagined in her vision - requires some cash! Well wishes alone won't change the world."

I never thought that was true, that the more money or success we have, the easier or bigger a difference we could make. It seemed so... materialistic or crass as Liz calls it. But it is true. One reason is because I can allocate time to making a difference (rather than paying the bills). Another is because I have the contacts and money to obtain the resources to make a difference.

Of course, my highlights (which I really had to narrow down) from The MavHERick Mind might not be your highlights. I'd love to hear your fave bits.

We, women, have talents we don't even know of. Heck, I've talked to stay at home Moms who claim to not have any talents. Ex-squeeze me? I've babysat. I consider simply keeping a 3 year old alive a talent.

So what would Liz Pabon, author of The MavHERick Mind, pick as our top unmined talent?

"There are so many it’s difficult to choose just one. In business, and life, women are naturally good leaders yet so few know this and don’t reap from the confidence that comes by standing fully in your power as a persuasive, influential woman.