I thought I knew a lot about men. I have three brothers, two brother-in-laws, a husband, male best friends, have worked in all male offices.
Then I read Leadership And The Sexes by Michael Gurian and Barbara Annis and discovered…
I had no blasted idea.
I didn't know why men will fight to death for their leader and in the next breath, try to take that leader's job. Why some are obsessed with sports. Why they seem to shut down verbally during times of high emotion.
Now, I do.
This book is a must read for anyone dealing with the opposite sex. That's dealing with, not simply working with or leading (the title is misleading). Are you a mother of sons? A wife? A sister? I guarantee at least one 'ah hah' moment. You'll finally understand why the men (or women) you love do some of the things they do.
Like…
You walk into an office. A man lobs a wadded up piece of paper through the air to his coworker. Another is slam dunking the garbage bin. As their manager, you want to yell "Stop it! Grow up already!" Don't. These actions serve a purpose. They help men think. They also help men relate to each other (and to you). Controlling it is okay, stopping it, not-so-much.
This spatial connection is key to understanding men. We even see it as they shop.
"…women's buying is often more linked to immediate complex sensory experience than men's; for example, women more readily enjoy walking through a store and touching and feeling objects, while men will get less pleasure from this. Men, on the other hand, link more of their buying to both spatial enjoyment (such as video games, which are all about objects moving around in virtual space) and to performance competition and aggression identification. Thus we find more men interested in buying memorabilia from sports teams with which they passionately identify."
I know, I know, isn't that a forehead slapping moment? I saw a salesman this weekend immediately bond with a male customer by simply tossing him the remote. Powerful, powerful stuff.
So powerful I'm trying to arrange for a cyber sit down with the authors. When that happens, I'll, of course, share their insights. Til then, read the book.