No Limits Ladies.com

A couple of weeks ago, I talked about how to find a job during a recession, but, after reading Single Ma’s career adventures, how about the opposite? How does one leave a job?

First off, I realize that the time for grievances and complaints is over as soon as I tender that resignation. From that time on, I'll be looked at as a former employee, an outsider, and what I say will be weighed accordingly. My time to change the organization has passed.

To tender my resignation, I write up a very formal resignation letter with my last day outlined. I always offer at least two weeks notice but I know that as soon as I hand over that letter, I could be walked out. I pack up my things (including my contact list) the night before.

I assume that the resignation letter will live forever. I don’t put anything personal in it and nothing negative. Usually mine say

(Name)
(Home Address)
(Today’s Date)

Dear (Manager);

As of (departure date), I will no longer be with (company). I appreciate my time and experience with (company) and will be happy to train my replacement. Please feel free to contact me at (home phone number) with any questions after (departure date).

Thank you,

My Name

Yep, very simple.

I set up a meeting with my manager with a hairy fairy subject line like Staffing Issues. That usually gives her some heads up. I walk in, I sit down, I hand over the letter and as she reads it, I make small talk.

If she asks why, I say I was offered an opportunity I couldn't pass up.

I never accept counter offers. Remember that as soon as I tender my resignation, I'm looked at as an outsider, a traitor to the company. A counter offer doesn’t change that. The manager might offer it to buy some time but if she is smart, she will spend it looking for my replacement. The first neck the next axe lands on will be mine.

Because I don’t accept counter offers, I don’t talk about compensation. Nothing ticks a former manager off like hearing I now make more than her. I’d rather not tick anyone off, especially someone I’ll likely need a future reference from.

The manager will want to know where I'm going. I don’t share this information. The working world is small. Odds are the manager or some of her manager buds know someone in the new organization. I would rather they not gossip about me before I even start. There is no benefit to sharing and lots of potential problems.

My response?
The situation is delicate so I’d rather not share at this time. You understand.
"The situation is delicate" is manager code for the employee I'm replacing hasn't yet got her butt fired. "At this time" is added to show that I'd like to stay in contact with my manager after I leave (remember that precious reference). "You understand" reminds the manager that she could be in the hiring manager's shoes and she wouldn't want it talked about either.

I hold firm against inquiries, knowing that my silence drives more respect, not less. It shows that I'm mature enough to keep my mouth shut. You'd be surprised at what your now ex-manager will tell you in that sort of situation.

This holds with co-workers. They don’t need to know where I'm going (I usually tell them it is "bad luck" to say what company I'm working for before I start and I don't want to "jinx" it), how much I'm making, or even why I'm leaving. Any of this information will simply serve to make them feel bad and cause hard feelings. Again, the working world is small. I assume I’ll work with my team members again.

It is my manager's job to notify co-workers, clients, and other work relationships. I'll confirm that in that first meeting and I'll offer to give my manager a list of people she should contact. If she wishes for me to notify them, I'll send an email or phone them and say that I've decided to leave the company but my manager (or some other point person) would be happy to help them. Again, less information the better. Most business associates care less about me than how me leaving will affect them. It is my job to make the change as easy as possible.

I give co-workers my personal (or a temporary) email for contacting. I have personal business cards for this purpose. If they give me their personal contact information, I will contact them first after leaving (telling them where I'm working and in what capacity - remember the contact list is gold). If not, I wait for them to contact me. Once I leave the company, unless I receive an email first, the company email list is off limits.

Human resources will often set up an exit interview. Exit interviews are seldom used or looked at, unless I make a fool out of myself (did that on my first real job). Then they will be shared with the entire management team (and I'll hear about it decades later). They have no upside (if I want to blow off steam, that is what non-work buddies are for) and all downside for me. I tend to avoid or refuse them for that reason.

On my last day, I always bring in some sort of baked goods (donuts) or treats for the team. If I get a going away lunch, I only speak favorably of my time there and my associates. If there are buddies that have helped me out a lot, I'll send an email to their managers telling them why this buddy is fantastic with concrete examples of their superstardom. This has helped land promotions for many and has earned me some loyalty.

When I start my new job, I don't talk badly of my old job. The new company hired me for that experience. They don't want to hear that experience wasn't worth the cash. Also my new manager will assume that I'll talk about her or her company the same way when I eventually leave there. Not a good scene.