No Limits Ladies.com

Last week, we talked with Allese Thomson from Wesabe.com about women's self image and finances. Today, I thought we'd hear her thoughts on what impacts self image.

What factor, do you feel, has the strongest impact on self image?

"The sheer proliferation of images of unreal women living fictitious lives (think television shows, fashion advertisements, celebrity tabloids). It is virtually impossible to see these images and to not subsequently be impacted by them in some way. “Being impacted” can take variety of forms: it could be rejecting the promoted female beauty standards and lifestyles and taking a strident stand against them; feeling an urge to live up to them; or simply buying an advertised lip gloss or getting a similar haircut to a cool celebrity. The point I am trying to make is that the impact is not always negative, but can be neutral or even positive.

However, these standards and lifestyles are not real. They are created for consumer consumption, they are specifically designed to trigger an emotional response and desire in the viewer, so that they will buy their product or service, be it a sweater or tuning for the next TV show. After spending nearly two years of my life as a runway and print model, I can guarantee you that women in ads and on television are not real; they are by-products of make-up artists, lighting, airbrushing, and hairstylists. Most women are aware of this; it is just really hard to see past it and even harder to accept oneself within these widely embraced, yet unattainable, social
standards."

If anyone doubts Allese about how unreal the stuff we see on tv is, watch the Dove Evolution ad where they take a normal woman and change her into a supermodel.

And if you think that's restricted to only humans, you'd be mistaken. I once watched a photo of an orange be painstakingly airbrushed for hours to eliminate all imperfections.

Dr. Lona Smith has walked us through the benefits of a prenup and how best to approach the subject.

Now what are some of the common mistakes we women make when negotiating a prenup?

Dr. Lona Smith: "There are many mistakes ladies make when negotiating their Prenup. Here are a few:

My book, Help! He Wants Me to Sign a Prenup, was written from the point of view of a woman being asked by her fiancé to sign a Prenup. However, my book is the one-stop shop for all things Prenup. I will teach you how to find and interview the best attorney, as well as how to negotiate, fight fair, and compromise all while taking care of the beautiful you. Remember we do love this man. My book will show you what he is feeling and experiencing during this process. The whole point of a Prenup is to have a fair and valid contract but still get married. My book will help you see the good, the bad, the ugly, and the victory of having a Prenup."

That's one of the things I love about this book. You see Dr. Lona Smith offers a peek into the male point of view, having included her now hubby's input (as I do when I write my romance novels). She also reminds us that we are negotiating with someone we love.

A buddy of mine is thinking about starting a day care business. She is simply in the thinking about it stage and I was helping gather her information. I got tidbits here and tidbits there but then I hit the jackpot.

I "met" Fiona at ChildCareOnly.com. Fiona has done her own research as a daycare operator so thoroughly that she has a DVD Guide titled... you guessed it... Start a Childcare Business.

What are her top tips for managing a home daycare?

"It can definitely be challenging to operate your daycare business from home and separate your personal life from your business but it is not impossible. Here are a few tips to help make the home based day care work.

d. A disadvantage of working for yourself especially if you are home based is the tendency of friends and family to assume you are always free for visits. It is important that you inform these well intentioned people that this is a job. They must understand that you have certain hours each day that are dedicated to work and your family and this time should not be interrupted. Explain that you are a professional and as such need to focus completely on the
task at hand during these hours. Then switch on your answering machine!"

Oops... there's still more to cover. I'll continue this next week. Until then, you can check out Fiona's blog with tips on how to complete pre-employment screens and even how to deal with late payments.

I’m not big on material things. I figure everything can be replaced (not like people). Or at least I used to think so. Until I started the replacement search for my calculator.

I’ve had my calculator for 20 years (I’ve had my hubby/boyfriend 15 years) and well, I’m quite attached to it.

Okay, okay, I confess. I call my calculator Tex (his formal name is the Texas Instruments TI – 35 SLR). He is a hard case (which is why I haven’t destroyed him yet), solar (no need to replace batteries) and has big buttons. In other words, perfect.

So I figured that I’d better look for Tex II just in case (‘cause I’ll cry when Tex goes to that big desk drawer in the sky). I looked on eBay. No go. I did a Google search. None for sale. However, I did find quite a few people looking for replacement Tex’s also. And other calculators.

Hhhmmm… I thought. Turns out, I’m not that strange, emotionally bonding with my calculator. I talked to a buddy and she had fond things to say about her calculator also. She’s had her calculator even longer.

‘Course many of us are going online to serve our calculator needs (Bootstrapper just send me a great list of 100 Financial Calculators Every Entrepreneur Needs) and some are even using their phones/blackberries for portability.

But me… I’ll be using Tex as long as I can.

One of the issues with spending the summers writing is that my writing uniforms, daytime pajamas, are usually quite roomy (an active sleeper, I buy them a size too large). I don’t notice when the weight is creeping up (due to all that chocolate eating – lets not even talk about the upcoming post Halloween candy sales).

Then, in the fall, I go back to a contract gig with a business dress code and I notice… my suits don’t fit that well anymore.

There is nothing frugal about gaining a dress size. An additional dress size means an entirely new wardrobe (except for shoes which is my theory for why there are shoe freaks, shoes almost always fit). It means discarding my ol’ faves, that sky blue Italian blazer that never fails to make me feel beautiful, that black pair of slacks with a bit of stretch for fat days. It means instead of building a wardrobe over time, I have to build it overnight. Costly and…

I’m not gonna do it.

I’m taking the other alternative. I’m trimming down. That means that chocolate is back to being a treat, not a food group. That means having soup with my dinners (I find soup fills me up so I still feel stuffed without actually stuffing myself).

I’m not doing it for myself. I’m not doing it for the hubby (though he likes to think so). I’m doing it for the navy pinstripe power suit hanging in my closet.

Entrepreneurs often ask me "When do I need a business plan and when do I need a business proposal?" They are two very different tools so it is important that businesswomen and entrepreneurs know when to use one and when to use the other.

So I looked around the web for an expert to clarify this for us. I figured... shoot for the top, ask June Campbell, author of not only a guide to business plans but also a guide to business proposal. Two different guides, two different proposals.

Much to my delight, she happily explained the difference.

"There is a HUGE difference between a business proposal and a business plan. A business plan is the detailed document you create when you start a new business -- or when you modify and update your planning for an existing business. A business plan describes every conceivable aspect of your business-- from product description, market research, SWOT Analyses, delivery methods, procurement methods and very importantly, a detailed financial analyses. When you have completed a business plan, you have addressed every foreseeable issue that could impact on your business success for the next five years. Failing to prepare a thorough business plan is undoubtedly the number one cause of business failures with a startup business.

A business proposal is a document that you prepare when you are proposing some form of business arrangement to another business or organization. You may be initiating the proposal, or you could be responding to a communication from the other business in which they indicate they are seeking someone to provide a certain product or service. A business proposal may be short or long, depending on the situation. It contains topics similar to that in a business plan (including a budget). However, the financial analyses addresses the proposed venture, not your business as a whole -- and you do not necessarily include all financial information pertaining to your proposal. A business proposal document is essentially a sales document. You are selling the idea that the other company needs the described product or service and that you are the best choice to provide it."

Next week, June will let us know what the number one mistake is when writing a business proposal. For those that can't wait (okay, I couldn't wait), check out her articles on http://www.nightcats.com/ including 11 Tips For Writing A Business Proposal. Be prepared to spend a day or two (especially if you are interested at all in writing for magazines like I am).

I was yapping it up with Allese Thomson, one of the many savvy women over at Wesabe.com, and found out that she was knee deep (actually it sounds like she's neck deep) into studies of women and image, including some fascinating insights into image and finances. I thought this information too intriguing to keep to myself so I just had to interview her.

There is SO much great information that I'll be breaking it into three posts, one a week.

Allese, from the research you have done/read on women and image and finances,
do you feel that a woman's self image has an effect on her finances?

"We live in a culture where self-image is less discovered through individual reflection but rather force fed by a constant proliferation of visual images pictorially defining female beauty, physique and style, selfhood. Images of women in advertising, celebrity culture and television function to consistently reinforce that you are not ok they way you are and that you need x product or service to be more desired, beautiful, happy, liked, or successful.

In a society where reality is more and more defined through visual terms, people respond by claiming themselves visually, be it through a car, outfit or house."

Oh, shoot Allese, you're bang on the money about teenage girls being great, great consumers (and marketers know this). But I will defend my girl Carrie. The girl got a high off the strangest things (Mr. Big - I wasn't too big on him) so it isn't that far fetched to think she was elated by a sweet pair of Manolo Blahnik's.

Dr. Lona Smith has shown us the benefits of a prenup, how best to approach the subject, and common mistakes but what about us long married gals without a prenup? Is there any way to decide the fate of Fern The Second now?

Dr. Lona Smith: "This is a little more tricky. There are Postnups. A Postnup is a Prenup done after a marriage. It is a fairly new concept and therefore is not enforceable in all states, so you will have to consult with an attorney. And of course, broaching the topic of a Postnup with your husband could be very tricky, but if you are in the beginning stages of starting a business you could always ask if he agrees that the business is yours and if he does you can ask him if he would mind putting it in writing “just in case.” If you have business partners you could also say they are requiring it.

Another option is to employ asset protection strategies in which your assets are placed in structures that you don't actual own but maintain control of such as trusts and partnerships. The advice of an experienced asset protection attorney would be needed to setup these structures."

Many, many business partners insist that this type of agreement is put in place before starting business. That way, they don't end up with a partner they never agreed to.

A couple months ago, I thought seriously about selling one of my blogs. The blog had decent traffic and yes, I enjoyed posting to it, but lets face it, with a book launch coming up, I’m strapped for time (big time).

I ended up not selling it.

Why?

The number one reason was that I didn’t know how.

Sure I could have done all the research but if I didn’t have time to blog, do you think I had time to do the research? Nope.

I’m not the only person in this busy boat. Talking to many bloggers, they mention that they’ve thought about selling their blogs. Talking to many aspiring bloggers, they muse about how much easier it would be to simply buy a blog.

Which leads to an opportunity. The blog transfer middle man. A head hunter for blogs. At the time, I would have happily paid a % of the purchase price to someone who could facilitate the transfer for me. Someone who could handle the details.

Yes, there are blog auction sites but I care about my readers. I don’t want to hand them over to someone who might mistreat them or worse. Its about more than the purchase price to me and blog auction sites don’t really handle that aspect.

Where there’s opportunity, there is usually profit.

I was reading a post on one of the forums I visit and the question came up about living below our means. Is it really needed? Can’t a person simply earn so much money that they naturally won’t spend it all?

Perhaps… but the odds are against it.

You see the ways to spend money are unlimited. My Mom used to tell me that my eyes were bigger than my stomach (I couldn’t eat everything I wanted). For many people, even the high earners, their eyes are bigger than their bank accounts. We’re talking $25,000 hotel rooms. $1,000 ice cream sundaes. You name it.

And it causes a problem. The same problem someone earning $14,000 a year has. No savings. Zero net worth. Once the income stops, they have nothing.

In a survey by HSBC Direct, the number one excuse that income earners in the $250,000 and above bracket gave for slacking off on savings (investments) was because they had to pay bills. Pure and simple.

Sure everyone’s perception of frugality is different. I consider European suits, that can be hand washed, bought at a discount to be frugal. Someone else may think it an extravagance.

But ya gotta live below your means. Its simple accounting. Income – expenses = retained earnings = net worth. That’s the only way to build wealth.

It is time for the Romantic Times American Title Contest. Similar to American Idol, every round, readers can vote for their favorite contestants and the writers with the least votes get kicked off the island (wait, am I mixing up my reality shows?).

What attracts aspiring authors to American Title?

Contestant Trish Milburn, author of the entry "Out Of Sight", gives us her reasons.

"I really love the book I entered and would love to see it on bookstore shelves. I'm a big proponent of taking every opportunity that presents itself, and when I saw the announcement for this contest I decided to give it a try."

Out Of Sight is a paranormal which is a hot, hot market right now. Was the market a factor in her choice of plot?

"Only partially. Because the paranormal market is popular right now, I was exposed to lots of great stories. The more I read, the more I wanted to write one myself. This story started with a "what if?" question -- "What could you find out and help bring about if you could make yourself invisible?""

Well, I could probably figure out why my drilling service stocks were free falling. That would be helpful.

I'm always curious how other writers are managing their time ('cause I never seem to have enough). What is Trish's top tip?

"Don't fall into the trap of thinking you have to have a big chunk of time to successfully accomplish your goals. I've written in 10- and 15-minute chunks, and all that completed work builds up faster than you think it might. Also, no making excuses. I've heard so many people enumerate "reasons" why they weren't writing (or working toward their goal), but these "reasons" were just excuses. If you or a family member is really ill or there's a death in the family, that's one thing. Being tired or having to saying you don't have time because you have X, Y, and Z to do are often just excuses to not devote time to the accomplishment of the goal. Ask yourself how much you want to accomplish your goal and what you're willing to sacrifice to do so."

You can vote for Trish Milburn's novel "Out Of Sight" at http://www.romantictimes.com/news_amtitle3.php

There are some very exciting sites popping up on the net and one of the most creative I've seen in a while has gotta be FashionMash.com.

In founder Meg's words... "At Fashion Mash, you share the contents of your wardrobe, arrange them into outfits and get feedback from your circle of friends."

Where did she get the idea?

"My husband, Keith, complained that I was always asking him about my outfits & said I should be asking my friends. And out of that I came up with the idea of Fashion Mash so that I could get feedback from my friends quickly and easily."

"We started Heliostorm Digital Media, Inc. to develop Fashion Mash. Right now it is just the two of us: Keith is doing the programming and I'm doing the design and people side of things. We do plan on expanding our team next year as the site grows to handle features we want to add, like an application for Facebook."

Who is using Fashion Mash?

"We've had men and women from teens to babyboomers join up so far. People use the site for their own daily outfits, to display costumes, and to show off their collections: from their shoes to what items they carry in their purse. There is also some unexpected humor, like an empty outfit titled "The Emperor's New Clothes." Users have put up their outfits on their blogs and emailed the links to their outfits to their friends. Our ideal user is anyone who likes to experiment with their clothes and share their outfit ideas with their friends."

I love going to FashionMash.com simply to see the Featured Outfit.

Last week, Dr. Lona Smith, Author of Help! He Wants Me to Sign a Prenup, discussed the benefits of the prenup (deciding in advance custody of Fern The Second) but when should we bring the subject up? On the first date? When he's on bended knee, ring in hand? At the Altar?

Dr. Lona Smith: "It is very important to discuss a Prenup early in the relationship before feelings get involved and when the man will want to be as fair and even as chivalrous as possible; however, the key is creative presentation.

Here is your pomegranate martini- do you want to play a game? I ask you a question and then you ask me a question. #1 Are you a dog or cat person? #2 What is your most embarrassing high school moment? #24 What are your thoughts on Prenups?"

Okay, there was no way, no how, this gal was discussing early on in the relationship her most embarrassing moment. Lucky for me, the now hubby never asked, assuming, I guess, that the embarrassing moments I had with him were the "most." LOL... little did he know...

Today is Blog Action Day, a day where bloggers concentrate on bringing attention to one single issue. This year the issue is the environment.

Environmentally friendly products are an area of opportunity for smaller companies. Having explored the concept while working in product development in a few Fortune 500 companies, I know that using recycled materials is more expensive. This expense when passed along to the consumer raises the price. Most often out of the reach of the average consumer.

While the higher income, environmentally conscious consumer is too small a niche for the big companies, it is the sweet spot for smaller businesses.

What products to target? The plastics are a good place to start. A local business in my area is selling high end cloth grocery bags, reusable pieces of art. High end grocery stores can’t keep them in stock.

Oh, and they’re putting out a Halloween version for trick or treaters so little pumpkins can advertise their environmental consciousness to the neighbors.

I pride myself on getting all my holiday gift shopping done by December 1st. This allows me not only to save money by shopping during sales, and save time by not having to stand in those deadly lines but it also allows me to better enjoy the other aspects of the holiday season.

Sure I still go to the mall. I love to see the wide eyed kiddies sit on Santa's knee and to hear the holiday music and put my toys under the toy drive tree. But I pick and choose what I do. I'm not elbowing some sweet little ol' lady away from the last Tickle Me Elmo (I kid you not, I've seen that sort of thing happen).

One of the things I like to get the loved ones in my life are books. Not only juicy romance novels (I finished Anne Gracie's The Perfect Rake and loved it so much, I ran out and bought The Perfect Kiss too - supposedly there are two more novels in the series), but personal finance books also.

Now, I won't sugar coat it. Most people (nutbars such as myself excluded) don't find personal finance books that enjoyable (adding chocolate to the gift tends to help). That's why I tend to lean towards the softer, fairly number free finance books.

One such book is Kim Kiyosaki's Rich Woman. This is a good book for the very intro investor or finance gal. And if you buy it during the month of October, a portion of the sales will go to Breast Cancer (telling a Mom that, combined with chocolate, MIGHT prevent a book to the head).

One of our fave PF bloggers, Single Ma, is participating in a Personal Finance Challenge, a fund raising drive to help promote financial literacy in schools.

This cause is, of course, near and dear to my heart. If it weren't for mentors teaching me about financial literacy, I wouldn't be blogging here today. I'm living proof that it works. It was education in financial matters more than in any other subject that broke the cycle of poverty for me. And it will do the same for others.

Instead of running my own separate competing challenge, I prefer to support Single Ma in hers. I encourage anyone lucky enough to have had financial help in the past to pay it forward.

It is the best present (other than love) you'll ever give a child.

For years I had the grand plan of retiring at 35 and living a life of leisure. I made my goal a year early, took 4 months off, wrote a novel, and then went back to work (though on contract gigs).

In other words, I failed retirement.

So since then, I've asked more "successful" retirees how they did it. Allison Knight, author of 12 published novels, including her latest Heal My Hurting Heart, is one such person. She retired from a career in teaching to write full time.

Did she know that writing would be her next career?

"I started writing romances while I was still teaching school. At the time, thoughts of retirement were vague, to say the least. I knew I wanted to write, I just didn't think about it in terms of another career. And yet it is. Today I spend from six to ten hours a day at the computer, but even early in the morning, or in bed late at night, characters are dancing in my head. Writing is not so much of a retirement career as an obsession. I have to write. It just so happens that now that I'm retired from the working world, I can devote even more time to honing my craft and developing my tales."

How to make retiring (at any age) easier?

"I can't stress enough how important I think continuing education is. Today, our older americans have access to technology that exceeds every imagination. They must and can enjoy a satisfying relationship with this technology. If they e-mail family and friends, I believe relationships are stronger because of it, and they need to use cell phones, play on computers, take picture and communicate. One of the saddest sight to me is the lonely old man or woman standing in the grocery store talking to anyone and everyone because that individual doesn't have anyone else to talk to. If they had the knowledge and skill they could communicate with their friends on-line and continue worthwhile conversations on line. Education therefore, is the key."

Okay, I might be one of those folks yapping it up in the grocery line. That's where I've met the most interesting people (and yes, I look at what people have in their carts). But I do agree that continuing education is the key... at any age, any stage of work, retired or not.

Buy It Now

One of the wonderful things about the blogosphere is that there are great bloggers for every type of reader. Here at NoLimitsLadies, we don't talk much about debt management. We don't talk much about starting out our financial lives. 'Cause, well, the focus on both was a while back (we won't say how long... LOL).

But Mrs. Micah does.

Mrs. Micah is a young wife (compared to this old wife) balancing a new marriage with a new career and of course, the debt that comes with all that.

Which (new marriage vs new career) does she find most stressful?

"Newly married, I think. Not because of anything my husband is or does, but because I know that my financial screwups affect him too. While all our debt came from his student loans and car payments (though I get a lot of use out of the car, so I consider those mine too), I don't find those nearly as stressful as the short-term things. Specifically, our anti-depressants. Since we don't yet have insurance, they cost a lot (but less than insurance plus copay would).

I've been exploring programs online, since we're technically low-income until I'm hired, to see if we can get the prescriptions filled more cheaply."

Why is she blogging now, rather than when she becomes more established?

"I see my blog as an unfolding story. Somedays it's tips I think are helpful, somedays it's personal experiences or things I'm dealing with and reflecting on. I hope that it will be useful or at least encouraging to others who've found themselves in similar situations."

For more on her financial journey, visit Mrs. Micah.

As many of our readers are successful investors and business owners, one of the common questions I receive here at NoLimitsLadies is about prenups. Frankly I'm not the person to answer this question. I got married fairly young before having significant investments and getting a prenup didn't even enter my brain.

So I was thrilled when an expert on prenups, Dr. Lona Smith, the happily married author of Help! He Wants Me to Sign a Prenup, approached me to do a four part series, generously sharing some of her knowledge (not only on prenups but on negotiating anything).

Why consider a prenup?

Dr. Lona Smith: "You worked really hard for your money and everything that you have. A Prenup will protect what is rightfully yours - plain and simple. No one ever truly knows what their martial future holds, a Prenup is the smart financial move for any woman. The sad reality is that all marriages will end: death or divorce. A Prenup is love insurance against these 2 Ds. It’s your money, you should decide its destiny.

Prenups are becoming the norm. A Prenup is for the every man and every WOMAN!"

Yikes. I didn't even think about the pets bit ('course I don't have any pets, the hubby being allergic, but I do have Fern the Second).

Serial Entrepreneur Lesley Spencer Pyle has started a new venture www.HireMyMom.com, a service linking work at home Moms with companies looking for professionals providing remote services.

Normally I advise my readers not to deal with any employment companies charging fees to the employee for placement. www.HireMyMom.com deliberately breaks this "rule".

Why?

As Lesley says...

"We want to make it VERY appealing to businesses and individuals to post jobs and projects to our Mom Professionals. If we charge a fee, we will not get as many to post. On the other hand, so many moms are so eager to get work from home, they are more than willing to pay our nominal (less than $10 per month) fee for us to market the site to businesses and individuals who may need their services."

She also encourages Moms to take their applications seriously on www.HireMyMom.com.

"They should make sure they are putting forth the most professional image they can and only responding to jobs or projects they are truly qualified for. Businesses are not going to use their services if they do not appear to have experience or expertise for that particular job. Sending sloppy emails, unprofessional questions or resumes can hurt their chances as well as hurt the reputation of our site in general."

Good advice for any job hunt.

Recently I attended a live interview with Sandra Wilson, Founder of the indoor baby shoe company Robeez. Sandra, after being laid off from her job and having a baby in daycare, bootstrapped a company (her first pair of Robeez was made from an old leather purse) into a baby accessory empire earning $30 million in sales a year before selling it to Stride Rite.

A key to her success? She “didn’t hesitate to ask questions and be resourceful.” At first, almost all her resources were borrowed. Family and friends were part of the Robeez team. She printed her packaging using a contact at her former employee. It was designed by someone else she knew. She asked and she got. Even when she was thinking about selling her company, she asked advice from Chip Wilson, Founder of Lululemon and he set her up with his contacts.

In contrast, I’m working with an aspiring entrepreneur. I am continually suggesting that she contact people in her field (not direct competitors). These people could save her money by setting her up with vendors, sharing their lessons learned, and partnering on promotions. Has she contacted them? Nope.

And that is SO not frugal.

As regular readers have probably noticed, my blogging buddy E has been spirited away from No Limits Ladies by those pesky cabana boys she always talks about. I don’t know how long she’ll be gone, perhaps (sigh) forever (my secret wish is, of course, that she’ll return but those cabana boys can be persistent).

Can this site be called No Limits Ladies if it is all about (gasp) me? I don’t think so (plus that would be so-not-exciting for me as a blogger).

In response, I want to ramp up with the interviews. Sure, I’ve got a long list of people I would like to interview (Oprah, if you’re reading this, email me girl, we’ll work something out) but I’m sure there are some great people out there that I haven’t even thought of.

How to overcome this challenge? I’m hoping that you can help. Do you know of a story that should be told, a lesson that needs to be shared with fellow wealth building ladies? This could come from you, another blogger, an author, an online businesswoman or a local store owner.

If you do, send me an email (my addie is on the sidebar) and I’ll set up a super short (3-4 questions), cyber interview.

Whew… finally had a spare moment to stick my head out of the gopher hole (anyone else love that bit from the classic movie Caddyshack… “if I kill all the golfers, they're gonna lock me up and throw away the key... ”?) and look around the personal finance universe. Things have changed, some for the worse (a few of my fave bloggers have decided to fold it in) but a lot more for the better.

One of the for the better changes is the launch of the Millionaire Mommy Next Door blog.

This blog speaks to me. So much that I had to speak back, getting the straight scoop from Millionaire Mommy herself.

I was wondering what set her on the track to financial freedom.

"Money was a constant source of tension and stress when I was growing up. My parents divorced when I was 13 and my mom struggled to raise her three kids as a single, working mom. I watched my mother approach retirement age with much anxiety over the fact that she hadn't saved for her "golden" years. My father had always been a workaholic (and still is at age 69). My family wished that he would work less and choose to spend more time with us instead.

At age 30, I decided that I wanted to be a financially-free mom. I didn't want money to get in the way of my parenting. Since I had always wanted to adopt, I didn't have to be concerned about my biological time clock-- I could wait for the right time. I studied personal finance and created a lifetime financial plan that would allow my husband and I to be free of most of our money worries by age 40. We are now happy and financially-free parents to our terrific two-year-old daughter."

Along the way, we all learn lessons. What has been Millionaire Mommy's biggest?

"Set a goal, make a plan and monitor your progress. In my opinion, consciously choosing to do something (such as achieve financial freedom) is more than half the battle. Reaching your goal is just a matter of taking care of all the little details."

The blog isn't just about giving back to her readers, she gives to charity also.

"I heard about Kiva on the Oprah show. I was immediately struck by the concept of micro-lending to entrepreneurs in developing countries as an incredible form of empowerment. An individual lender participates with just $25 on Kiva's super-easy website. All of the lender's money goes directly to the entrepreneur of their own choosing. In turn, the entrepreneur's success lifts his or her family and community. The lender gets paid back, then can re-loan the same funds again-- over and over and over again. Brilliant!

I was so inspired by the concept that I've decided to use my blog's revenue for micro-loans. When I announced my decision to my readers, some "paid it forward" by making micro-loans, too. I love the ripple effect!"

Yeah... I know. How can you not read the story of such a woman?
Visit Millionaire Mommy at http://millionairemommynextdoor.blogspot.com/

I was shopping in Target, in the toy section, hunting for discounted classic toys for the December toy drives, when I saw a little cutie with her Dad. The curly haired toddler was crying her eyes out and the Dad looked quite frantic.

He shook a Barbie in front of her, pleading “Here’s a Barbie, don’t you want a Barbie?”

“No, I don’t want Barbie.” She wailed, tears streaming down her chubby cheeks.

The Dad grabbed the next thing off the shelf, “What about a princess dress? You like princess dresses.”

“I… (sob) don’t… (sob) want… (sob) it.”

“A movie? Do you want a movie?” The Dad was desperate by now.

“No, Daddy, no.” The girl was equally upset.

“I don’t understand it.” He threw up his hands, searching for something he could buy to make his daughter happy. “What do you want?”

“I want… (sob) to go… (sob) pee.” She yelled at the top of her lungs.

At which point the Dad stopped short, a stunned look on his face and then bent over, slapping his knees, howling with laughter (which I thought was crazy, he should have been hustling to the bathroom).

I often wish that relationships were so simple, that we could buy a magical something to make them right. But just like we can’t substitute a Barbie for a trip to the bathroom, we also can’t substitute a new car for a missed graduation or flowers for a missed anniversary.

Where does that leave the pursuit of financial freedom? Well, talk to people who are financially free and they will often tell you that the biggest item bought with it was time. So no substitution is necessary. Graduations are attended. Anniversaries (when remembered) are celebrated. Loved ones feel loved.

Back to school time and with it, the back to school type jobs. One of them is the researcher (I see researchers advertising in writing magazines all the time, big, fancy, expensive ads so there must be some money in it).

This is exactly what it sounds like. Individuals get paid to research. Students writing papers hire them, semi-grown up people writing books hire them. It could be an hourly rate or a set fee per topic.

Be very, very careful with this one, folks. There are plenty of scams around, the equivalent of the read books for money scam that yours truly got taken in decades (we won’t say how many) back.

How not to get scammed? Only deal with companies that you find a few solid references for. That is, YOU find ‘cause shady companies can supply plenty of so called references. Better yet, go it solo and find your own clients. Advertise on Craig’s List, at schools, in libraries, in writing magazines.

Do you need to OWN the research books? Of course not. All you need is access to them, whether it be online or at the library.