No Limits Ladies.com

There's nothing quite like going through a divorce to rock a woman's stability financially. Many women have taken a lesser role when it has come to bringing in money for the family, and even if that is not the case, it is still a disorienting experience.

How can a woman go through a divorce and be financially stable afterward? Although situations may vary, there are some things that I think apply across the board.

Make A Clean Break
Although divorce can be messy, the important thing is the end result and getting there as painlessly as possible. The dividing of the things is a process for sure, everything from furniture to friends, as well as assets and the less fun debts and loans. Make sure that everything that once was joined together, be put asunder, leave nothing tied up, to chance or negligence.

Get The Cash Flowing
This is true especially for women who may not have been working prior to the divorce. This is something that needs to be thought of and worked on because it can take some time to either find a job, get paid, start a business, etc. If there are reserves to live off, that is great, however, they are best "reserved" for absolute emergencies and not lived off of until they run dry. Without income, or cash flowing in, you may find yourself up a creek without a paddle.

Getting Back On Track
It is often necessary to downsize after a divorce, at least for many women. Statistics say that in the first year after a divorce, a woman's standard of living drops an average of 73%. It is important to protect things that can keep you going and help get you back on track, like cash flow and credit.

As a Forbes.com article (How to Survive a Divorce Financially) puts it:

"The unhappy fact is that, once the terms of your divorce are settled, you will be poorer than you were during your marriage. The upside is that you will know exactly where you stand financially and what you need to do to get back on track."

And you will. It is possible to bounce back and be more successful and financially stable after a divorce ladies.

With high gas prices and the summer roadtrip season stretching before us, there have been many, many articles about reducing the amount of money we pay at the pumps.

David Bach suggests that we look for the least expensive station, keep our tires properly inflated, get a tune-up, use regular unleaded, adjust our driving habits, clean out our trunk, carpool, look at a hybrid or at least a more fuel efficient car.

Ben Stein talks about the politics of big oil and then suggests staying home and reading a book as one of his solutions.

Sure, those are all great ideas. But lets face it, most of the easy ones (inflating our tires properly, hauling the junk out of our trunks), we’re already doing. No big savings there. The big ideas like buying a more sensible car…well…we drive our cars for about 10 years minimum. Sorry. This is not the car buying year for this decade.

Then there’s the changing our habits so we can save money route. Do I want to give up our long weekend roadtrips? No way, I love those trips (driving down the freeway with the windows open, music blasting “Walking On Sunshine”, singing off key and trying to figure out how people lose shoes at the side of the road).

So what’s my solution?

Instead of only looking at saving money, I look at how to make money. For each of my big monthly expenses, I have investments to offset. Oil prices go up? My oil companies make more money and their stock price goes up. Natural gas prices go up (my home’s heating choice)? My natural gas stocks go up also.

Does that mean I’m buying oil stocks right now? Nope. I wait for the discounts. For when they go on sale (could wait years for the right price). But I do have them on the watchlist.

Yesterday I was feeling sorry for myself. In addition to being massively jetlagged, one of my investments (my great hope) didn’t pan out.

That happens. Not only happens but is to be expected. As a gambler told me last week, it’s not about individual results but averages. On average, my investments pay out but there are always some individual duds in my picks.

Knowing that, I still get a little blue when faced with a loser. And when I’m blue, it’s so easy to quit, to pack it in, to ask myself why I bother. That is, of course, the wrong attitude for wealth building.

So how do I turn it around?

I look over my long term financial plan.

My financial plan not only consists of future expectations but also summarizes past results. This history is key for motivation. I look at mine and see that 14 years ago, the hubby (then boyfriend) and I had a zero net worth. Absolutely zippo. I see how small those annual numbers were in the first few years. I remember how we had to have faith, faith that the plan would work.

And I see the financial mistakes made. Some pretty near disastrous. Like the time I made a big bet that the index would tank only to see it up almost 20% by year end. We recovered, not only recovered but prospered again.

If we can do that once, we can do that again. Especially with my much smaller (and expected) blooper. The plan does work. All I need to do is stick to it.

There are many ways people describe wealth. I like R. Buckminster Fuller's definition of wealth:

'A person's ability to survive X number of days forward.'

Financially, that means how many days can you or I survive without working? Key words here being without working.

In the middle of a nasty tax audit myself (about a deduction I took five years back), I know the importance of a great filing system for all that paper. Me, I use the binder method (part of being a project girl, binders are easier to lug to board meetings, and tabbed the papers are quicker to flip through and find information).

But rather than me going on about my rather challenged system, I thought I’d ask organizing guru Jessica Duquette of It’s Not About Your Stuff about her system.

Jessica - “It's frustrating to realize that if we get audited and we don't have the right paperwork, we can suffer penalties levied by the IRS and even go to jail if our transgression is bad enough, but nowhere in the tax law is there a record retention schedule for us to follow! I have developed a beautifully simple and effective archiving system that works really well for my clients and costs around $50 up front to implement for life.

Here are the supplies you will need: (please get these exact items)
1 plastic file bin with a snap on (not clamshell) lid.
2 packages (4 each) of accordion hanging file folders (total 8 folders)- letter or legal, depending on your files
7 clear file tabs (the little ones that fit into the hanging file folder)

Simply put 7 accordion hanging file folders in the file bin and label them the previous 7 years. (i.e. 2006, 2005, 2004, etc) Put any archive tax back up material you may run across, by year, into the respective folder. DO NOT put the tax return itself in this system!! You will need to keep those in another location, as according to the IRS, you will need to keep the actual returns FOREVER. At the end of each year, you can simply pull the oldest file out, shred it's contents and use that folder for the current year's taxes.

This file bin can be kept in your garage, attic, basement, storage space, remote closet,etc. as you will (hopefully!) only need to access it once a year.”

For more helpful hints, visit Jessica at It’s Not About Your Stuff.

"When credit dries up, cash goes into hiding," said Robert Kiyosaki at one of our meetings. He was talking about the current markets, and how he didn't think we were in a housing bubble so much as a credit bubble. He went on to talk about how they are paying down their own mortgages, and freeing up cash in order to take advantage of the opportunities this kind of market provides.

When cash goes into hiding, those who have it, get the deals.

That was a couple months ago and I am really starting to see it happen. I have a vehicle for sale right now, and wow is it a different market than it was back in November when I bought this one.

When people's house values are up, they feel good, "house-rich" and are more inclined to spend. When housing values go down, people feel much less inclined to spend money, especially when so many were highly leveraged and may not find themselves upside down in their homes.

Cash goes into hiding.

So, even the market for cars has changed. Those with readily available cash can find really good deals right now, not only on cars, but houses, etc. (Range Rover anyone?)

"The pessimist borrows trouble; the optimist lends encouragement." - William Arthur Ward

Rich Woman.com is hosting a Book Study through Rich Woman, a book on investing for women, by Kim Kiyosaki. Click here for the overview and full book study schedule. Each Monday, a new thread is started on the Rich Woman forums for the current chapter being discussed. Grab yourself a copy of Rich Woman, follow along and join the discussion with other like-minded women!

Planning a wedding involves many moving parts like the dress, cake, ceremony, food, flowers, attendants…and of course music. Music for the ceremony (to walk down the aisle) and music for the reception.

The big choice for the reception is live band or DJ. Both are money making opps for entrepreneurs. The live band option requires…well…having a band. This is not a solo gig. The DJ option usually requires a lot of fairly pricey equipment. Equipment that you can rent sure, but still involves upfront cost.

So what to do for the musically inclined entrepreneur with neither a band nor the cash for equipment rental?

Focus on the ceremony.

Often the ceremony is at a different location to the reception, could be a church or a beach (as my sister is having) or a park. The DJ or Band is usually setting up at the reception location.

Which gives the solo musician an opportunity to make some quick cash while adding joy to a couple’s special day. The average going rate varies by area and by talent but for an unknown, it is reasonable to expect $100 for an hour’s work. The hot instruments are the harp, actually any string instrument including the violin, the saxophone and of course vocals (preferably better than mine which make dogs howl). If the location has a piano or organ, that is an option also (not like you want to lug that around).

Kdog over at Live Learn Invest had a great post this week about poker and investing that I wanted to share because I think it is very insightful.

He says:

"We are so results oriented that we don’t realize that results don’t matter when analyzing failed or winning investments. Just because your investment went bad and failed doesn’t mean you made a bad investment. You have to look back and analyze your decisions based on the information that you had at that time. If you review your decisions and conclude that they were sound and correct, thats all you can hope for."

(You can read the full post here.)

Admittedly, I am always behind the times when it comes to knowing what is the coolest new thing on TV. I ran across information online about how to apply to be part of season 2 of Big Spender, a show on A&E that tackles people's financial issues.

The show's host, Larry Winget –' New York Times Bestseller and the self proclaimed “Pitbull of Personal Development” –confronts people head on about their spending and shopping problems and then puts them on a budget to help get their lives back on track.

Every Saturday at 6:30PM/5:30C Larry ambushes our BIG SPENDER, catching them in the act. And once he does, everything is fair game – from digging through their closets to unearth 40 or 50 pairs of new shoes, to letting a spouse know that their partner has secretly taken out a loan for $50,000.'

Gotta love a guy, on our financial blogs, who is quoted as saying this:

"You can't drive that Louis Vuitton bag to the grocery store." - Larry Winget

Anybody seen the show? Thoughts?

30% of people who sign up for a gym membership have dropped out less than 3 months later. The thing is…they usually don’t cancel their contracts (notoriously difficult to do) and they continue paying the monthly fees. Maybe thinking they’ll go back? I don’t know.

But if you are attending and haven’t officially cancelled by now, when the weather is great, and everyone is outside, having fun in the sun (hhhmmm…bbq), you definitely aren’t going to go to the gym during the summer.

So unless the penalties are steep, steep, steep, cancel. No use paying for a service you aren’t using. And ensure that it is really cancelled (the gym likely has you on autobill).

If you are still attending, talk to the manager about renegotiating. The worst they can do is say no, no way. The best case is of course a decrease in fees.

I apply that thinking to most of my services. Every so often, I’ll ask for a decrease in fees. Telemarketers are helpful with this. When the competing cellphone company presents an offer better than my current one, I get all the details and then call my company asking for a decrease.

It seems like nickel and diming but I currently pay half of what my friend pays for internet and we’re with the same company. I’ve asked for the discounts over the years and she hasn’t.

Tuesday morning, I attended a staff meeting. Robert and Kim Kiyosaki were updating all of us on their recent trip to Africa and talking about things they themselves are learning.

One thing RK said has stuck with me all week. He made reference to a book he had read called "Excuse Me, Your Life Is Waiting". He said the book spoke about how it's not what is happening to you, but how you interpret what is happening to you that matters.

I have been trying to apply this to my life right now. What situations am I in that I could be complaining about, blaming others, playing the victim, etc? How can I take responsibility, learn the lessons, and change my attitude to one of, "okay, how am I going to make the best of this?"

Attitude apparently is everything!

We all need seed money for our investments. It could come from flush family members or a lottery windfall or…even a job (where I found my starter cash).

But how to get that job?

To start with, you need a cracker jack resume. When I needed that first resume, I asked an already successful friend. He taught me about whitespace, about using the key words employers are looking for, how to make that paper route sound a bit more senior (cash management, customer service, sales).

Then you need somewhere to send it to. The month before I graduated (way back in the dark ages), it was a very tight job market. Thumbing through the want ads, I sent my resume to hundreds and hundreds of employers. I tweaked each one to meet the employer’s specific requirements. I applied for anything remotely close (I took the starter job and used that job to get another – much easier to get a job when you have a job).

The best sources of jobs, however, are friends and family and other connections. When I first started out, I shied away from this area. I didn’t want to “bother” people (instead I bothered hundreds of strangers with my applications). Today, that is the only way I get assignments. I don’t look through the paper, I send out an email saying that I’m available for work and this is what I’m looking for.

What about recruiters and temp agencies? Never, ever, ever pay to be placed. Employers pay, not the applicants. Unfortunately I find both tend to want only experienced people. If you have experience or are lucky enough to find an agency dealing with fresh faced job hunters, then it is definitely worth considering. As a manager, I preferred to hire from the skilled temp pool than an outside applicant. Less likely I’d make a bad hire.

Whenever I think of women and finance, I always think of two things:

1) Knowing how to make our own money

and then also,

2) Knowing how to manage that money.

Too many women I think have been trained to think that balancing a check book = financial education or is managing money properly. While it is important to be able to do that, and it is amazing how many ladies need to start with that, managing money onto more growth, tying it up, and moving it into other investments that make money is the key.

How do you make money? Then, how are you managing it onto more growth?

Richard Parker over at The Trump Blog talks about how poorly run businesses can be the best ones to buy. Businesses that survive with horrible management teams can be snapped up at a crazy discount and then turned around by great management.

This has impact on all three areas of investing.

First in the entrepreneurial space which Parker addresses. Of course the assumption here is that you are part of a great management team. Completely fresh and inexperienced people need not apply.

Second in the stock market. For those fundamental investors out there (like I am), the management team means everything. We are all creatures of habit. Just because your title consists of letters like C.E.O. or C.F.O. doesn’t mean this fact changes. People are usually known for a few strategies.

For example: I was working for a company and the board brought in a new C.E.O. This C.E.O. had a history of successfully restructuring companies and cutting jobs. As an investor, I would investigate buying. As an employee, I polished up my resume and dusted off the contact list.

Third in real estate. Regular readers know that I’m not a real estate bunny but I have to think that this would hold in that area too. An apartment building poorly managed yet still full of tenants could bring in even more profits if better managed.

"If you don't like something change it; if you can't change it, change the way you think about it."

— Mary Engelbreit: Innovative artist, illustrator, publisher.

Last week, Jessica Duquette of It’s Not About Your Stuff talked to us about incoming mail. But some of that mail has to be kept (for years and years). So what type of filing system does she recommend?

“I like to keep things very simple. Most people way over-manage their files and so they never get the papers in the file cabinet because it seems too time-consuming. Check with your CPA for details, but for the most part, you don't have to keep any personal records that are not tax-related unless it's a receipt for a purchase over $250.00 for proof of insurance. Most financial companies such as credit card, investment, etc. will send you an End of Year Statement in December or January.

That means unless you are taking a deduction for business use of your home, you don't need to keep utility bills, credit card receipts, regularly occurring invoices such as mortgage payments, etc. (again, check with your CPA for eligibility or see IRS # 587- http://www.irs.gov/pub/irs-pdf/p587.pdf)

If you are a person who returns things to the store often, you may want to keep a special folder at your mail station called "possible returns". Just drop the receipt for the item you are not sure about in that folder and if you need it in the next few weeks, you know exactly where it is. (the catch is, you'll need to clean out this folder every so often). Keep any store coupons and gift cards in the side pocket of your car. That way, if you are passing the store and have a few minutes to run in and pick something up, the coupon or card is right there at the ready.

I am a very visual person, and I like to have my papers out in front of me, to remind me to act on them. I keep my most used folders on a desktop file holder and the projects that I am actively working on live on my desk. If I need to do something right away, I will put it on or near my keyboard to make sure it gets done.

3 quick filing tips:

1. only keep this year's files in your active home office filing cabinet. Anything that is related to taxes from previous years or archive legal issues or past refinances can go in an archive location elsewhere.

2. keep the files you use the most (daily or weekly) closest to you in your filing system. Put reference materials and resources in the back of the file cabinet, or if you have more than one cabinet, in the more remote one.

3. Some people prefer to file alphabetically, some by subject. There is no "right way" to file, it just has to work for you. You get to name your files anything that makes sense to you, even if it is not mentioned in the organizing books! And, by the way, that saying of "only touch something one time" makes no sense. (email me and I will send you a special report on 10 Useful Folders for Your Filing System)”

For more helpful hints, visit Jessica at It’s Not About Your Stuff.

Rich Woman.com is hosting a Book Study through Rich Woman, a book on investing for women, by Kim Kiyosaki. Click here for the overview and full book study schedule. Each Monday, a new thread is started on the Rich Woman forums for the current chapter being discussed. Grab yourself a copy of Rich Woman, follow along and join the discussion with other like-minded women!

I was talking to one of my author friends and she is slowing getting sucked into the public speaking circuit. She’s not too unhappy about it. She loves to talk, the event hosts pay her travel bill, and she gets paid. Oh, and she sells more books.

Everyone is an expert in something. Odds are, there’s someone out there wishing to be an expert in that something also. And they might be willing to pay.

Yep, getting paid to talk or lecture or give a seminar. This could be an intro opp like hosting an adult learning course at a secondary school, college, or library (my friend got started at the library). Stand up there, give a good talk (prep work is key) and get paid.

The sweet spot in the public speaking business is, however, when the speaker has other products (like books, DVD’s) or services (consulting) to offer. According to the Speaking Industry Report by Lilly Waters, 51% of income for speakers is something other than their speaking fee.

For example: If I were a plumber, I’d offer a seminar on a topic like replacing a sink. Maybe a local home renovation company would sponsor this seminar, paying your fees. Maybe you’d charge a fee (renting a classroom). Some of the people attending the seminar will end up doing it themselves but some of those people (raising my hand here) would want to hire to have it done. Who better to hire than the expert giving the seminar?

"No pressure? No diamonds." - Mary Case

Here's some Saturday fun with speed-linking!

Skinny Jeans Steph has lots of good fun for the ladies, but this quote was amazing I thought...

Our girl Kimber, aka Client K talks about getting to yes...something that is extremely important in negotiating, deal making, and reaching our financial goals...

Madame X hosted the Carnival of Personal Finance #100, featuring 100 posts (including one from NLL)...

Short and sweet...now get out there and enjoy your day, look for deals or enjoy your family!

As many readers are aware of, you are eligible to receive a free copy of your credit report every year ( David Bach recommends AnnualCreditReport.com ).

The thing is…you’re eligible to receive one free credit report from each of the main bureaus (Equifax, Experian, and TransUnion).

Sure you could get them all in one shot. But most consist of duplicate information and unless you have reason to believe otherwise (identity theft, a stolen credit card, disappearing from the mailbox bills), you don’t really need them all at the same time.

So some financially savvy folks (like wolf in the article comments) get one credit report every four months. That decreases the time period monkey business (not to be confused with Keith Urban’s Monkeys as his crazy fans call themselves) can happen.

Remember also that this is one free credit report from each bureau for each family member. If you have a social security number (which almost everyone has), then you should check your credit report (and no, you don’t get penalized for checking your own credit report).

That includes your kiddies. As good Moms (and Dads), you look after your children in other ways (keeping them safe from the baddies), extend that to their finances also.

The harder you have to work for something, the more difficult it is to just let it go. At least that is how I am feeling in my life right now.

I have spent the better part of the last year working hard on building my personal credit. I have had strategies in place, and have been monitoring it closely.

The EFT train wreck this past week threatened to derail all my hard work...and I was not about to let that happen. I went on the offensive and made sure I covered all my bases, crossed my t's and dotted my i's. I am not about to let someone else's mistakes set me back on my financial goals.

I also feel that way about my physical goals. Since hiring a trainer, and getting my ass handed to me three days a week, I'm a lot more reluctant to eat things that may keep me from reaching my goals. Maybe if I had only been taking a diet pill that promised to do all the work for me, I would not be so determined. Instead, it costs me something personally and I am unwilling to have all that hard work be for nothing!

My point is, the harder you work for something, the more difficult it is to give in, or let someone else ruin it for you- that is true for our credit, and especially true for our financial futures ladies. It's easy to be comfortable, get by, easy to not make the effort or to hope someone or something else will fix it... been guilty of that myself.

You want to take control of your financial future? Make the effort, and keep after it. It does make a difference!

"Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work."

- Thomas A. Edison

Charles Munger recently boiled down billionaire investor Warren Buffett’s success down to five key factors.

His Brain
Munger claims that although Warren Buffett is a very smart man, he likely overachieved his natural mental ability. However, being half decently intelligent certainly doesn’t hurt, now does it?

Intense Interest
As Munger states “There is no substitute for a very intense interest.”
Buffett lives and breathes investing.
He loves the stuff.

And he…

Started Early
Time is your friend with investing.
Berkshire Hathaway has been in business for decades.
Buffett is no day trader.
He buys when the stock is on sale and then sits on it.

Constant Learning
Munger calls Buffet one of the best “learning machines” and said that the way to gain wisdom is by "sitting on your [behind] and reading all day."

Concentration
Warren Buffett is clearly the leader at Berkshire Hathaway.
He has been since the beginning.
And so he calls the shots. He doesn’t have to worry about folks (hubbies) hanging over his shoulder questioning all his moves.

Okay, looking over this list, we have some of everything. Sure, we may not be as smart as Buffett is, we may have other interests than investing, we may…well…not be that young anymore, we do learn constantly however, and most of us only have, at the most, a spouse to answer to.

And then again we don’t really need $46 Billion. Little ol’ me would be happy with a fraction of that (and STILL be able to afford my cabana boy).

Yesterday Kimber wrote about Nice Girl's Don't Get The Corner Office, which reminded me I have Nice Girl's Don't Get Rich: 75 Avoidable Mistakes Women Make With Money on my bookshelf. (Yeah, I've read it already, and now I'm a rich bitch...)

I flipped through it again, and found a book marker on Mistake #59, which also happens to be very similar to Mistake #57- both of which I think are important to make mention of:

Mistake # 57- Giving Away Your Time and Mistake #59 - Not Charging For Your Services

Both of these, giving away your time and not charging for your services can be traced to us as women wanting to put relationships before money.

All women can fall into this kind of thinking, from high paid professionals to stay at home moms who do extra things for others.

No matter where you find yourself on the money making side of things, the point is that your time is worth something- it is a valuable asset and you should not short change yourself.

The money can really add up and make a huge difference in the long haul. Remember Kimber's post on what $10 can buy? (If you missed it, you should definitely read it!) And be aware of the messages we are sending the younger girls who look up to us. Do we really want to perpetuate that women should do things for free that men get paid for?

Bottom line is that we as women are equaly capable and equally responsible for ourselves, and we have got to value ourselves and our time.

"It's not so much how busy your are, but why you are busy. The bee is praised. The mosquito is swatted." - Mary O' Connor

As I was writing up my post for RomancingTheBlog today, talking about one way that I used reading romances to get ahead in my corporate gigs, I got to thinking that we don’t talk about corporate careers much here at NoLimitsLadies.

So I looked around my home office and saw this book. Nice Girls Don’t Get The Corner Office, 101 Unconscious Mistakes Women Make That Sabotage Their Careers. I started flipping through it, looking for a good topic to cover and then stopped cold.

Career Mistake #29?

Being Financially Insecure.

Yep, not being comfortable with our finances can mess up our careers. Lois P. Frankel cites a few reasons. “Women are more likely to remain in dead-end jobs and be forced to work beyond the normal point of retirement because they can’t afford to leave. Women are less likely to make tough, but necessary, decisions because they’re afraid to rock the boat and lose their jobs. And women are often less able to understand the financial implications of business decisions because they don’t pay close enough attention to their own financial affairs.”

My area of expertise, project management, is high, high risk. I’m only as good as the last project, I’m one of the first people on layoff lists (as projects aren’t “core” activities) and if funding gets shifted then usually I do also. However, it is also high reward. I get paid to take those risks. If I were financially insecure, I’d have to stick to more steady eddy positions with average pay.

I just ran across a post Kimber made on a forum we are part of. She said this:

" Since semi-retiring two years ago at 34,
I don't recall a single person asking how I did it.

Nope...not a one.

Got a lot of "must be nice"'s (and yes, it is)
and heard too many excuses
but not a question.

And THAT is the real reason the rich get richer. "

Kimber (aka K) has paid her dues and is a wealth of knowledge and experience- we are blessed to have here here at NLL! Thank you Kimber- you're the best girl!

**Kimber also writes about her experiences in business over at www.ClientK.com (formerly known as K's Blog)- check her out there too!

"Chase your passion, not your pension." - Denis Waitley

I've got business on the brain right now, since I've been working on a new project. My personal plan has always been to create businesses that provide excess money to invest with (real estate and more businesses) , so that's what I'm doing.

Just last night I was talking to a friend who had decided that he only wanted to do business now with friends, which I was surprised at. Maybe that is because after starting a business with my ex, our marriage and the business both suffered, so I am careful when it comes to mixing business, friends and family.

Rhonda Abrams (The Passionate Entrepreneur) column this week on Yahoo Finance is about this very thing... well, Hiring Family Members- but I think the same sort of thinking applies if this is something you are going to attempt:

1) Hire them because they are qualified for the job.

2) Set clear boundaries and be respectful.

3) Leave it at work.

Do any of you work with friends or family, or do business with friends or family members? If so, what are your thoughts?

I don’t know about you but the mailman loves me (well, a little less now that he tripped over my white picket fence, landing with a facer on the driveway). Every day, I get confirmation of trades, financial reports, monthly statements, ballots for voting, and all the other material that comes with stock trading. And then, of course, there are the bills. They never stop coming.

So what is the best way to deal with the paper?

Instead of sharing my method (which involves stacking and then a once a week purge), I thought “why not ask an expert?”

Jessica Duquette of It’s Not About Your Stuff is one such expert. Not only is she extremely professional in everything she does, but she’s generous with her expertise. Her blog is jammed full of helpful advice.

How does she recommend dealing with incoming mail?

“Have you ever noticed that for most people, mail clutter congregates on the FFS---the 'first flat surface' in your home---your kitchen table, your counter, the credenza in your hallway. Once that pile of unopened mail starts, it has an interesting way of disappearing from site and mind, and the late fees, penalties and bank charges really add up, not to mention missed deadlines, events, offers. If mail pile-up becomes a serious issue, why not hire a personal assistant to come and deal with your mail a few times a month? You may actually find yourself saving money, not to mention peace of mind!

Just remember, there is no 'magic bullet'--- any organizing system takes maintenance even if you don't feel like doing it, so make it as easy as possible for yourself. I call it the Lazy Way to
Staying Organized.

3 quick mail tips:

1. Create a simple mail station close to the door you use to enter your home. Have a recycle bin, a shredder and if you have space, a place to keep your unpaid bills. If possible, you can put a calendar and a small and decorative desktop file holder in this spot to hold invitations, directions, school information for your kids, etc.

2. As soon as you walk in the door, presort your mail to winnow it down to the 'meat'. Leave the envelopes, inserts, junk mail, etc. at your mail station and take the rest to your desk to be dealt with when you have the time. Make sure you pull out your bills to be paid and keep them separately, so they don't get lost in the sauce.

3. Set yourself a digital reminder once a week or twice a month to pay your bills. (if you use Outlook, the calendar reminders work well, if not, create a Google Calendar account www.calendar.google.com. Set up the reminder system (it's easy!) and Google will either text message you on your cellphone or send you an email reminder to pay your bills on a regular basis. Best of all, it's free!)”

Great advice from Jessica. Being tech inept (yeah, ironic as a blogger), I haven’t switched to digital but I do jot paying bills down on my primitive paper calendar. Actually most of my bills on auto pay so no checks necessary (but I do have to look at the bills to ensure they’re accurate).

For more great organizing tips, please visit Jessica Duquette’s Blog at It’s Not About Your Stuff.

"Work joyfully and peacefully, knowing that right thoughts and right efforts will inevitably bring about right results."

— James Allen: Author, As a Man Thinketh.

I'm a control freak (this is very different than being a neat freak, although both are members of the freak family). I have never signed up for EFT (electronic funds transfer) or automatic payments. I like to know who, what, where, when, and why my money is leaving my account.

However, I was pleasantly surprised to discover that my ex had our old car insurance set up on EFT for two years in my name, which actually built my credit (trade line history).

I was so inspired by this, and since I am still (always) building and looking for ways to improve my credit scores, I took a bold step and set my new car insurance up on EFT.

This turned out very badly. The results were a trainwreck that just kept going and I was left to pick up the pieces, and I'm working to make sure my credit has not been damaged by the incident.

I have cancelled EFT and do not plan to use it again. I thought EFT would be my friend, but it turned out to be my foe.

Anyone else have experiences good or bad?

Rich Woman.com is hosting a Book Study through Rich Woman, a book on investing for women, by Kim Kiyosaki. Click here for the overview and full book study schedule. Each Monday, a new thread is started on the Rich Woman forums for the current chapter being discussed. Grab yourself a copy of Rich Woman, follow along and join the discussion with other like-minded women!

In ancient Rome, the groom said good-bye to his bachelorhood by distributing walnuts to his buddies. In eighth century Italy, noble families gave gifts like solid silver to their wedding guests. Today, we wedding guests get knick knacks, celebrating the couple's commitment, as a thank you.

My craftsy sister is busy mass producing the wedding favors for my other sister, floral pens in her wedding colors. The wedding is small, about 100 people, so this is manageable. I had two years to plan my wedding (3 times the size) so I had time to make the lace placeholders and dip the fortune cookies that my family expected from a Chinese dinner (and the hubby’s family tolerated) in chocolate.

But not everyone has the time or the inclination. A big subsection of the arts and crafts market targets these brides. There are dedicated companies (like My Wedding Favors) which specialize in these gifts.

Which means that there is also opportunity for entrepreneurs with a unique offering. What brides are normally looking for is something that can be specialized for her wedding (colors are a biggie, ribbons can help with that) and can be mass produced at a low cost. Food items specific to the area (mac nuts in Hawaii, citrus flavored seasonings in Florida, etc) are popular and practical.

The easiest way to get business is to team up with wedding planners, florists, wedding cake decorators. The less stops a busy bride has to make, the better and that way, she is assured that everything co-ordinates.

"Striving for excellence motivates you; striving for perfection is demoralizing." -Harriet Braiker

Happy Mother's Day to all our girls out there! We celebrated Mom and Money all week here at NLL, and thought it would be appropriate to do a quick round up of other mom posts today:

Back in Skinny Jeans has this funny video paying tribute to moms on the playground (check yourself...)

Rich Minx shares a Mother's Day money memory...

Start Up Princess features Mom Entrepreneurs inspiring would-be Mom Entrepreneurs...

Freakonmics shares about the power of Mom's Influence...

Businessweek has an article about MBA Moms and how they are handling school and family...

Summertime and my mother are synonymous for a plethora of reasons. Mostly because it was during this time that I learned life's important lessons that were by far the most paramount to the academic ones I was being fed the other 9 months of the year.

Some of these key learning opportunities included the time she silenced my older sister and on a I family road trip to Atlanta from quibbling over hunger pains by splitting an apple in half with her bare hands.( An amazing party trick that still has our jaw dropping in our adult years. I addition, I have attempted to try to replicate it only to nearly loose a digit! ).

My mother was always a maven for making much out of very little. A prime example of this talent was her brilliant negotiating tactic of bartering for my private education by availing her culinary skills to my grammar school. However, the magic trick that saved my derriere throughout college and currently now as an adult is the "five buck wonder".

The summer before my fifth grade year turned out to be the most financially challenging for many reasons, despite this circumstance my mother's exemplary "steel magnolia" fashion proved to enrich my life for years to follow. My mother and I needed to buy groceries and while the major bills of mortgage and utilities had been paid through the summer we still needed to eat.

Between the two of us, we had five dollars that we were able to round up. We trekked up the street to the bus stop because our transportation was sometimes not as reliable as we would have desired. Armed with bus passes, my mother's coupon pouch and five dollars in hand, we proceeded to our local Save n Pack. In my mind I was only anticipating a loaf of bread, jelly and peanut butter, but as I learned that summer and continue to appreciate more and more, my mother had plans that were beyond my expectation.

To my amazement we walked away with cereal, bananas and milk( due to a coupon that allowed for a free half gallon of milk and 1 lb of bananas with the purchase of a particular store brand cereal) , a package of leg quarters, a loaf of bread and 2 rolls of paper towels ( buy one get one free). I can remember leaving the store and feeling like the folks in the famous biblical parable where the loaf of bread and fish were divided among thousands.

Vivid to this day the teaching challenges me to convey its value to my daughter. She is three and already is learning about saving but most importantly even earlier than I about cost and budgeting. Just as my mother taught me on that summer day, occasionally we enter the store with only the money in mommy's pocket…$5, $10 or $20. Our game is to stay within that budget and even try to get change back. The change she gets to put in her piggy bank.

I am grateful for this lesson more than my mother will ever know. And that is to know that wealth doesn't come from denying ourselves of our needs but learning how to maximizing the potential of obtaining them by being creative with the resources to which we already have access.

We are lucky enough to be tagged quite a bit here on NoLimitsLadies.
(Hhhmmm...might have to do with the hours we spend hanging out with our buddies on the blogosphere).

But getting awarded the Thinking Blogger Award this week was special.

Why?

We got nominated by one of my favorite authors of all time, Margaret Moore, which just goes to show that hounding heroes (via their blogs) does work. Sure I read her blog every day but I'm one of many. However, I go one step further and comment (which I would say that 1 in 1,000 readers do). Almost every day.

Margaret also is a blogger outside our tight personal finance community. I love, love, love (did I mention love) our PF bloggers but lets face it, most don't have a lot left to learn from us (like JLP at AllFinancialMatters, what am I teaching him?). Its our girls outside the trenches that I'm most concerned about, the ones that have not yet obtained that bullet proof vest of financial knowledge, the ones being targeted by not-so-ethical people in the business and financial world.

One of my girlfriends is getting married. This gal pal is a bit of a control freak (yeah, we’re still friends). She not only wants pink roses, she wants pink roses from some special South American country (she told me multiple times but I still can’t remember), a special pink, and the blooms can’t be completely open, they have to be semi-closed and…and…and…

She is driving her poor florist nuts and getting upcharged left, right, and center for that privilege.

Then there was me and my rather relaxed wedding planning. When I went into the florist to get my flowers arranged (the florist is one of those honorary Aunties, treated like family but with no biological connection), she asked me what I wanted. I told her that the now hubby and I had been going out for five years so I’d like five roses in my bouquet. Oh, and the reception was at a Chinese restaurant, the lucky colors being red and gold, and my dress was ivory and here’s my rather slim budget. Any specific look for the bouquet? Nope. What did I want on the tables? Didn’t matter.

She looked at me suspiciously like I was about to yell “fooled you” at her. “Are you serious?” she kept asking. “How many weddings have you done?” I asked right back. Thousands, she had recently been flown to Hawaii to do some multi-million dollar affair. Well, this is my first wedding, I told her, lets go with your judgment.

Repeat the above discussion with the cake lady (another honorary Auntie) except that I gave her the phone number of the florist so they could huddle.

Did I get what I expected for flowers and cake?

Nope.

The result far exceeded my meager expectations (and budget). Giving these two experts flexibility meant that they could bargain shop. Giving them some control meant that they could do the wedding they wanted to do. Total creative freedom. I got left over ribbon from the million dollar wedding. I got extra sugar flowers from a last minute cancellation (one bunch took a month to create and ten years later, I still have them in a display case).

Oh, and my roses came from some exotic South American country too (the name still escapes me).

I thought it was appropriate to post our girl Amanda's post Mom and Money on our "Mom and Money" Week here at NLL! She lists the tips from mom she found on Bankrate.com and threw in her own "two cents" as well! (<----PF Blogger Joke)

10 choice 'momisms'

1. "Have a place for everything, and everything in its place."
2. "Don't be late."
3. "You can do anything if you set your mind to it."
4. "Know your own value."
5. "Do your homework!"
6. "Practice, practice, practice."
7. "Don't be afraid to ask for help."
8. "Take your time, and check your facts."
9. "Be yourself."
10. "There's more to life than money."

Man, I could write my own commentary on each of these! How about you? Thoughts on any of these?

1) I'm just a girl... (We're not afraid to say, "I don't know", are willing to ask for help, and have much less ego.)
2) Moms are great shoppers. (Instead of shopping for shoes or groceries, we learn to look for deals..assets that put money in our pockets instead of take money out!)
3) Moms get their hands on information...(We are very good at researching, and usually more risk averse, so we don't tend buy on the "hot tip".)
4) Mothers are nuturers. (Good at managing, improving properties and businesses, as well as nuturing social connections and circles.)
5) Mother's intuition. (Sometimes we just know...)

I could go on... any of you have more reasons you would like to share?

With Mother’s Day coming up (got my flowers ordered from the crazy busy florist and the card was sent snail mail a week ago), much has been written about Moms and Money. As MP Dunleavey at MSN Money states about women “Eight out of 13 have followed their mothers' example, even when it wasn't positive or profitable.”

So what if your Mom is terrible at managing money or what if you are a Mom and terrible at managing money or a much bigger or... what if your child is not a financial clone of yourself? Shockers.

Then take a leaf out of the ol’ school book. Ever notice how teachers change from year to year? Ever wonder why the same teacher doesn’t follow kids from grade to grade? Or why college kids graduate with the influence of at least 50 different professors?

Well, that’s because different teachers have different skills (some are qualified to teach the lower grades, some specialize in the higher grades). They also have different teaching methods. Some are show and tell types. Some lecture. Some story tell. And then, there are the students. Every student learns differently. What works for one might not work for another.

So why is it that when it comes to a just as if not more important subject, personal finance, our Moms and Dads are supposed to be the “perfect” teacher for each and every one of us in each and every life stage?

Sounds darn silly, doesn’t it?

What’s the solution? Money mentors. Exposing kids to a variety of different financial role models.

At least, that’s what worked for me.

You see, my Mom is terrible at managing money. She admits it. She doesn’t own a home. She is in credit card debt up to her eyeballs. She spends every cent she has and then some. The best I can hope for at this point is her retiring with a zero net worth. Actually I would be thrilled if that happened.

Yet, as I mentioned in my Single Ma post, I consider her the reason why I’m financially fab. She, knowing full well that she was financially challenged, lined me up with a selection of financial mentors. There were a couple false starts, personality issues (I was not exactly a saintly child) but I hooked up with one couple whose success I could copy (for a while and then I got bumped up to a higher financial level).

Do I credit them with my financial success? Partially but mostly I credit my Mom…for having the guts to admit she wasn’t perfect (which ironically made her more perfect in my eyes).

In my previous contract gig, I’d head out to work every day at 6:30 am. Now being “off” for the summer, I decided to stick to my schedule except instead of heading to the bus stop, I head to the track to walk for an hour (helps me plan my day and work out the kinks in my next chapter).

Since starting this addition to my exercise schedule, I’ve received assorted feedback.

Some people tell me that walking an hour a day the way I do won’t make any difference and is wasting time. These, interestingly enough, are usually the people that aren’t doing any exercising at all.

Some people tell me the best way to walk, the best equipment to use, the best time of day to walk. They haven’t walked themselves as a form of exercise but they know how its done.

Then there are the “serious” exercisers telling me of all the other exercises that are better for me and that I should be doing instead. I have to mix it up a bit, they say, switch from exercise to exercise.

I have yet to hear one person tell me “good for you” without at least one but attached (and that isn’t the big ol’ butt following me around all day).

Hhhmmm…doesn’t this sound familiar? Isn’t that exactly like investing? You get the gang who tell you that your $25 a month won’t make a difference (it does, I started with $25 a month). You have the folks who aren’t wealthy telling you the best way to get rich (if they knew that secret, why aren’t they?). You have the investors that tell you to switch from uranium companies to tulip bulbs to real estate.

Still we plug away on our own programs and grow our wealth. In my case, in a week and a half of “useless” exercise, I’ve dropped some weight (unfortunately all off my bust but that’s a post for a whole other blog).

"Action is the antidote to despair." -Joan Baez

Yesterday, we addressed some of the money myths we may have learned from our moms. So today as promised, we are going to talk about how to break away from the female stereotypes when it comes to money.

Kim Kiyosaki writes in her book Rich Woman about busting our of old stereotypes:

"It is no longer a valid excuse to say, 'I'm not good with money,' or 'I don't know anything about investing.' The past doesn't matter at this point. What does matter is the choice you make today.

As best I can see there are two choices:

1) Accept that you have no place in the world of money and investing - be content balancing a checkbook and paying the family bills.

OR

2) Choose to take control of your financial life. Know that your financial future is up to you and no one else. Get smart with your money. Get prepared. Take action. And go make things happen.

This is the decision: Am I going to commit to do what it takes for my personal financial success...or not? If not, then I understand that I am agreeing to allow someone else to be responsible for my financial well-being and accept the consequences that go along with that. If on the other hand, I am willing to commit, then it's time to put aside all excuses and get to work."

We believe that women should not set any limits to what we can or cannot do, especially when it comes to business, finance and investing (hence the name of our site!). So now that we know women and this week's focus particularly- mothers- can take control of our financial futures, tomorrow we'll talk about the Top Five Reasons Moms Make Great Investors!

Currently, I’m investigating an IPO offer. I don’t own any private ownership. I’ll be purchasing the shares on the market first day (or second or after things settle down) just like everyone else.

IF I decide to buy which is a big if.

Now some people will tell you that IPO’s are a crapshoot, a gamble. There’s no share trading history. No support levels. No research to be done.

The last is, of course, wrong. There’s more research to be done with an IPO and most of that research has to be done by the investor, not necessarily analysts (so no being lazy).

The first thing I do is ensure that I have a concrete footing in the industry. I look at comparable companies. I look at their Price-Earnings Ratio. Their market capitalization. Their financial statements. I look to see if previous new entries grew the total sales or merely ate other companies’ lunches (called cannibalization, when sales come from other areas and aren’t “new” – who says investing isn’t graphic?). I look at what geographic markets are doing well. How are new offerings (stores, restaurants) doing? That sort of research.

Then I look at the information I have on my IPO. And there is information, usually quite a bit. The first place to look is the prospectus, filed with the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission. That has financials. Number of locations. Much of the stuff that investors can find in publicly traded company annual reports. I Google the company. I Google the management. I Google the owners (especially if its owned by hedge funds). What’s the style? Why is the owner giving up ownership?

I compare the IPO company to a few of the established companies. How big can the IPO company get? How long will that take? How much money is that going to take (‘cause there could be secondary offerings)? What is the growth factor? What is the risk factor? How much am I willing to pay? When would I sell?

It isn’t a perfect calculation. Investing never is but if I build in enough of a buffer (which I always do), I’ll make money (which I don’t always do ‘cause sometimes my buffer isn’t big enough).

"You can never tell what type of impact you may make on another’s life by your actions or lack of action. Sometimes just with a smile on the street to a passing stranger can make a difference we could never imagine."

— Ed Foreman: Congressman, advisor to 5 American presidents.

I ran across this article on the Money Myths We Inherit From Mom.

Here is an abbreviated version of the article (you can read it in full here):
Money Myths We Inherit From Mom
Talking to women about how we manage money makes it clear that our mothers are powerful financial role models -- for better or worse.

How do women learn about money? Where do we get our habits, attitudes and expectations?

Writing about the Women in Red leads me to ponder these things. It gives me the chance to observe the way many women (and not just WIR members) manage their financial lives. Or not.

And the Not is what troubles me.

In past columns I've explored the financial influence of everything from one's innermost fears to the sitcom "Friends." But there's a larger force that looms in every woman's life: Mom.

Surgeon General's warning
Don't worry, I'm not about to skewer our mothers as the source of all money woes. Nor am I saying that women in general are financially clueless. Clearly, many women are making economic progress. And kudos to them! But as far as I can tell, this rising tide isn't lifting all boats...

In the six months or so I've been focusing on where my gender is at financially, I must have interviewed 50 or 60 women across the country. And what I see depresses me. Most women I've spoken with:

* Are worried about money.
* Don't feel in control of their finances.
* Wish they knew more about saving and investing, but "don't know where to start."

And a significant number either rely on someone else to manage their money or are waiting, hoping or praying for that to happen.

Your mother, your self
It's no secret that parents play a big role in your financial development. But Harvard psychologist Carol Kauffman, Ph.D., says that women get a slew of complex messages about money as they're growing up, specifically from their mothers.

"Unlike men, women who grew up in the '60s and '70s got mixed messages from their moms -- and from society -- about whether you were supposed to be in control of your finances or wait for your husband to do it."

What also became clear, as I interviewed 13 women on this topic, was that our mothers were powerful financial role models -- whether they planned to be or not. Eight out of 13 have followed their mothers' example, even when it wasn't positive or profitable.

Three more live financial lives in direct reaction to their mothers.

Only two women seemed moderately influenced by their moms, but had managed to craft their own financial way of life.

Mothers, daughters and money
Each mother-daughter relationship is unique (right, Mom?). Still, I noticed a few maternal archetypes and the financial impact they can have:

1) The coupon-clipping mom.

2) The extravagant mom.

3) The head-in-the-sand mom.

4) The financial-dynamo mom.

Coping with your mom's money messages
You may feel a mix of things about the financial example you got from your mom (or your dad -- but we'll tackle him in a later column). Here are some tips for working with inherited money habits:

* Acknowledge your mother's influence: Whether your mom was a positive role model or not, it's important to be aware of the ways you're following in her financial footsteps or trying to be the polar opposite.

* Skip the blame: Finger-pointing won't help your finances. Seeing yourself as a separate financial person will. Brice recently watched her mother make some impulsive, short-term money moves. "I was shocked. I may not have a lot to work with myself, but I'm gaining an understanding of how to manage money -- and I know she's not doing the right thing."

* Make your own choices: There's a tendency to forget that you're not stuck with what you're raised with. Like many of the women I spoke to, (especially Brice, Beth and Anna), I'm grateful for the money skills I got from my mom. But now we're realizing that we can be even more proactive about money. And what mother wouldn't want that for her daughter?

Tomorrow...more on how to break away from the female stereotypes when it comes to money and learn how to make different choices about your financial future!

Despite best selling author Kelley Armstrong running full out with her whirlwind promotion schedule around her eagerly awaited Otherworld release No Humans Involved, she spared a few minutes for her girls at No Limits Ladies.

What is the best advice you ever received?

“Write what I love, not what will sell. Someone in a writing group told me that years ago when I was struggling to write a story that I thought was more marketable than my usual fare. Did I listen? No. I spent years working on more marketable fiction, while secretly penning a werewolf novel...and it was the werewolf book that sold and launched my career.”

Ummm…was that little werewolf book the bestseller Bitten, perhaps? The novel about the world’s only female werewolf? About our girl Elena surviving in that manly man world? Sort of like a very hairy Working Girl (owww…eighties flashback headache)?

What one attribute do you feel has contributed most to your success?

“Passion. I love storytelling and after my experience above, I've grown very protective of that love, making choices that aren't necessarily the most "business savvy" but that will ensure I never see a book as "just another work project."”

E, does this sound familiar? Does this or does this not describe our blog? Not our most business savvy decision but all love, sweet, sweet love.

What has surprised you most about the process?

“The uncertainty. I came from the corporate world, where unless I screwed up big-time, I had a career for life. In writing, I'm only as good as my last novel. It's the kind of success that can evaporate very quickly. That's stressful, but it's also challenging in a great way--it keeps me striving to do better.”

Sounds like the crazy world of entrepreneurship, where we’re only as good as our last sale or project or product launch.

If you haven’t read a Kelley Armstrong novel, I suggest the already studied in popular lit classes Bitten. If you’ve read all her novels and are a crazy, crazy fan, well, you’ve already pre-ordered No Humans Involved anyhoo…

Rich Woman.com is hosting a Book Study through Rich Woman, a book on investing for women, by Kim Kiyosaki. Click here for the overview and full book study schedule. Each Monday, a new thread is started on the Rich Woman forums for the currnet chapter being discussed. Grab yourself a copy of Rich Woman, follow along and join the discussion with other like-minded women!

I remember when I moved to the big smoke and encountered my first person looking for a handout. It was a young guy, looking for bus fare to get home. I felt for the guy. I grew up dirt poor. There were days I didn’t eat and I still wouldn’t have had the guts to ask a complete stranger for money. That this young man felt he had to…well, needless to say that I reached into my pocket and gave him one of my few bus tokens.

Then he turned around and told the next person the same story.

The next time I was asked, I told the beggar (different from the first) that I was getting on the bus too. I’d pay for him there. He said he was going in the other direction (I never told him which direction I was going) but thanks anyway.

I still give to street people if there’s a doubt in my mind about whether they’re legit (I prefer to give to organizations which help street people). However I’m very picky about which ones.

Does begging work? Yep, one street person confided to me that he pulls down $2,000 a week tax free (this is the same guy who asked me for money and after hearing my excuse that I was “just a temp”, told me proudly “That’s tough luck, girlie. My job’s permanent.”). $2,000 a week is a 6 figure income.

Cyberbegging works basically the same way. The first high profile cyberbeggar was Karyn Bosnak of www.savekaryn.com . This shopaholic got herself in financial trouble by admittedly buying too many Gucci handbags so she asked complete strangers over the internet for money.

And it worked. She paid off her debt and then some (her website claims that she donates all the money to charity). She now has a book out that she’s selling to pay her way in the world.

Other cyberbeggars have followed. I hear it is less lucrative than it used to be but that these sites still pop up means that people give. It works. But as in Karyn’s case, I have to wonder…if you have the skills to put up a site, to organize payment, to write convincing enough copy to get people to donate, why resort to begging?

"Mom and Money" contest entries are all in. We would still love to hear your "Mom and Money" stories! Send them in all week through Saturday, May 12, in celebration of Mothers, and we'll post your story and send some link-love your way!

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As promised last weekend, today I’m reviewing Dale Carnegie’s 1944 book How To Stop Worrying And Start Living.

Pretty darn timely. Especially the chapter on Ingratitude.

Next weekend, there’ll be Mothers out there in the blogosphere (and elsewhere) receiving nothing for Mother’s day. There’ll also be kids receiving no thanks for what they did give their Mom. One of us will have sent her dear Mom the heavily hinted at yellow roses and hear that they were delivered at the “wrong” time, right in the middle of her weekly girls gab (which her loving daughter knows is really the exact RIGHT time).

Maybe there’ll be disappointment because gratitude was expected but, as Carnegie points out, “It is natural for people to forget to be grateful; so, if we go around expecting gratitude, we are headed straight for a lot of heartaches.”

He reminds us of the story of Jesus and the ten lepers (only one of the ten was thankful). He tells us of Samuel Leibowitz, a famous criminal lawyer, who saved 78 men from going to the electric chair and didn’t receive a single thank you. Me, I once spent a board meeting begging for a project team member’s desperately needed job and then listened to the same team member complain about working overtime that evening (if he only knew…). Gratitude is a rare thing, an exception, and while it should be celebrated when expressed, it should never be expected.

This book, as our girl Rich Minx stated, is a bit dated (the helpful housewife hints). I saved it for when I was in a fruitie tootie, nothing can get me down, mood. I also wouldn’t recommend giving it to your hubby to read especially if he’s like mine, singing the new Aaron Lines song “Its Cheaper To Keep Her” (Living with a crazy wife beats an empty bank account) at the top of his lungs, pausing only to dedicate it to you. Nopers, better to give him a heavily edited summary.

"Those who think they have not time for bodily exercise will sooner or later have to find time for illness."

— Edward Stanley

I was talking to one of our on-line buddies here at NoLimitsLadies. The beauty of cyberspace is that we have buddies from all over and this buddy happens to be Canadian.

This happy Canuck was saying that of all the women in the business world, she would most like to talk to Heather Reisman, the Founder of Chapters-Indigo, the biggest chain of bookstores in Canada.

Problem is…she’s too shy to talk to the businesswoman herself.

So I told her…no problem (we say that a lot here, don’t we, E?), I’ll try to track her down and ask the questions for her.

Then I got to thinking (always dangerous)…there must be a few more readers out there with some other businesswoman or role model or author or even (gasp) politician that they’d like to hear from.

I know that I can’t get enough of Debbie Allen, the author of one of my fave books Confessions Of Shameless Self Promoters. Debbie has already agreed to offer up a sound bite (yay Debbie!!).

Please let us know. Who would you like to hear from? Is there a local businesswoman or investor or expert that we No Limits Ladies can learn from (this is a worldwide challenge so don’t be limited by geography)? I can’t promise miracles (snagging a cyberinterview with Hilary Clinton may be a challenge though, of course, I'm trying) but we’ll give it the ol’ college try.

Send us your "Mom and Money" stories by today, Saturday May 5! We will post "Mom" stories all week long, with lots of link-love to contributers...and a book and bling from NLL for our favorite "Mom and Money" entry! Read here for more details!

First big movie of the summer hits theaters this weekend, Spider-Man 3, and you can be certain that many of us will be seeing it (remember that upside down kiss in the first Spider-Man, hot, hot, hot).

The tickets aren’t exactly cheap, especially for a family but as our girl, Rich Minx points out, the killer is the concession stand. And when you go with a family or when your kids go with their school friends with you tagging along as chaperone, everyone wants their own bag of popcorn (forget kids wanting their own popcorn, I once went on a date with a cheapster who wouldn’t share his popcorn, and no he wasn’t old fashioned enough to buy me my own bag – notice I said once, one date was all the man-child got - I admire frugal, I detest cheap and stingy and, most of all, selfish).

What I’ve seen those always thinking super Moms do is buy a crew sized bag of popcorn (that size you can ship a VW Beetle in) and then separate it into individual bags. These paper bags she grabbed for pennies a bag at the dollar stores (hhhmmm…the ones with the Spider-Man motif perhaps? Making the kids the envy of the theater?).

But what about the movie sized chocolate and licorice? These Moms buy shareable treats like M&M’s or E.T.’s fave Reese's Pieces or Nibs (instead of the licorice whips) and then dish them out in Dixie cups. This allows the kids to get a mix of candy too.

Sure, it’ll still cost you but it’ll cost you a little less and I’ve seen kids end up even happier with this alternative (I know I would be, I always like to try a little bit of each candy). Being frugal isn’t about giving up experiences, merely making them cost less.

Send us your "Mom and Money" stories by Saturday May 5, and you may win a book and bling from NLL! Read here for more details!

Reuters had an article about Stay-at-home mother's work worth $138,095 a year:

NEW YORK (Reuters) - If the typical stay-at-home mother in the United States were paid for her work as a housekeeper, cook and psychologist among other roles, she would earn $138,095 a year, according to research released on Wednesday.

This reflected a 3 percent raise from last year's $134,121, according to Salary.com Inc, Waltham, Massachusetts-based compensation experts.

The 10 jobs listed as comprising a mother's work were housekeeper, cook, day care center teacher, laundry machine operator, van driver, facilities manager, janitor, computer operator, chief executive officer and psychologist, it said.

The typical mother puts in a 92-hour work week, it said, working 40 hours at base pay and 52 hours overtime.

A mother who holds full-time job outside the home would earn an additional $85,939 for the work she does at home, Salary.com.

Last year she would have earned $85,876 for her at-home work, it said.

Salary.com compiled the online responses of 26,000 stay-at-home mothers and 14,000 mothers who also work outside the home.

Kimber here...
Okay, I'm going to tag onto E's post 'cause this "research" ticks me off.
Moms add value...a lot of value.
The human race would be extinct without them.
Taking a serious look at the serious contribution of these Moms is essential.

This is NOT a serious look.

Why?

According to the U.S. Census Bureau, the 2004 median income for full time year round workers was $40,798 for males and $31,223 for females.

That means that our SAHM is making the equivalent of about 3.5 full time workers.

The most common work week in the U.S. is 40 hours (1997 Bureau of National Affairs) so working 3.5 jobs, our dear SAHM is slaving away 20 hours a day, every day.

4 hours of sleep a night just ain't healthy, ladies.

Any opponent of putting a value on SAHM's valuable work will do the same calculation.
They'll laugh at this survey, laugh at the topic and dismiss it.

When it should be discussed.
If Salary.com was serious about this subject,
they should do Moms everywhere a favor and put a serious price tag on their value.

Guy Kawasaki had a great blog post, just in time for Mother's Day, linking to an article about What Stay at Home Mothers Are Worth. I thought it was great- Guy has always been very respectful. However, after I started reading the comments, I was appalled. Their mothers and wives should be ashamed of some of them.

Here is an elaborated version of the comment I left in reply:

"The point of the article (done every year) is to show that there is monetary value to what stay at home mothers do... at no charge to the end users.

It is about respect for women who have chosen to stay home with their families. How about a little thankfulness? Obviously Guy has respect for mothers and the mother of his children.

Besides the survey doesn't factor in all it costs a woman to make the choice to be at home:lost experience and time at a career, lost retirement and other benefits that often accompany a job, and her own money from a job or career and all the investments, etc. she could have done with that money (to name a few things)- that is a hell of a lot more than $138K a year.

I have chosen to be a work from home mother- I have friends who stay at home and I have friends who have careers- the bottom line is is costs to be a woman and have children.

Not looking for sympathy or special help, but at least take a good hard look and acknowledge the women who made and make sacrifices like this everyday."

Agree? Disagree? I believe the internet has leveled the playing field, so women can stay at home and make their own money. However, whatever choice a mother makes should be acknowledged and respected, not for what she could theoretically make, but for what it has cost her to make that choice.

I’ve been reading post after post lately saying that the stock market is overpriced, that real estate is about ready to burst, that the internet is too crowded to play in.

Well, you know what? I don’t buy “the stock market.” I buy individual company stocks and there are deals out there. There are ALWAYS deals out there.

Sure when the entire stock market is rising, you might be able to buy any ol’ company stock and get a half decent return. But I consider that awfully risky. No, not my type of play at all. I’d rather buy a good company at a great discount. Like a classic blazer on the clearance racks. It may take a bit more looking and a bit more legwork but its worth it.

What about real estate? I see people still buying houses. I see builders still building houses. Don’t these smart businessmen know that the real estate market is dead?

And blogging, well, we all know that blogging is breathing its last, right? The blogosphere is so crowded that no one can make any money. Then why is Jon over at Art Of Money running his $100 a day blogging project? What’s he doing? Didn’t he get the memo?

Even the happy, happy world of romance has its doomsayers. Medieval Romance Author Margaret Moore was told time and time again that Medieval Romance was dead, done, wouldn’t sell, kaput. Over 40 novels later, she’s still writing Medieval Romances. Someone seems to be buying them.

If I exited every time I heard that the stock market was overpriced, I’d never buy anything ever.

Got a "Mom and Money" story? We want to hear it!

In anticipation of Mother's Day on May 13th (2007), No Limits Ladies decided to have a contest in celebration of all things "Mom and Money"!

Whether it was an example your mother set for you, or your grandmother, or maybe a funny story about you if you are a mother or perhaps about one you know...send it on it!

All posts/stories need to be emailed in to us by this Saturday, May 5 by 5PM PST. We will post entries here on No Limits Ladies.com each day leading up to Mother's Day beginning the following Monday, May 7.

We (Kimber and I) will select the winning "Mom and Money" story which will be posted on Mother's Day, and the winner will receive our special "Book and Bling" Mother's Day Gift: an autographed copy of Rich Woman (by Kim Kiyosaki) and some bling from our friends over at Filthy Rich Celebrity Jewelry (here in AZ)!

We'd love to hear your "Mom and Money" stories, Kimber and I will share a few ourselves! Send them on in, we'll send lots of link-love your way...and who knows...you may just win a book and bling too!

Add on by Kimber:

At the beginning of the year, I posted this about my own Mother on Single Ma's Fab Site.
When I showed it to my dear hard working Mom, it made her cry (in a good way).
That I would post that in public, and not just in public, but on another neutral site, touched her greatly.

This "contest" isn't about the giveaway (though we love to give things away), it isn't about the "best" entry, its about recognizing our Mothers (I capitalize the word Mother because that's what we do with positions of respect).

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We often hear about married folks not having enough money, however, what about the flip side: divorced women who have children and extra money? Having experienced this personally, I'd like to share my thoughts on the subject.

There are many things we are told by financial gurus to do with our money. I truly believe that extra money just sitting will find its way to someone else who will put it to work for them, so it may as well be working for me, right? I, for one, have become a fan of investing in things that cash flow, and am looking for more ways to do so.

I am a fan of cash flow for two reasons:

1) My money keeps moving (earning and growing, instead of sitting or perhaps wandering off to the mall...)
2) More money in my pocket (my asset pays for my life, liabilities, and other assets)

These give me more security as a divorced mother with children, and also more income with which to do other things with, or income coming in if godforbid something happens to me.

There are different investments to choose from, always try to love what you invest in and understand it (the two really go hand in hand).

The two things to be aware of with investments from this extra money, in my personal opinion would be:

1) Look for the best ROI (biggest bang for the buck, making more of and for less...)
2) Look for the most control over your investments.

These two have become important to me because holding out for an investment with the best ROI (return on/of investment) I can is the best use of that money- more bang for my bucks. The control is something I really have come to value. If the proverbial shit hits the fan, the more control you have over your investment, again the greater security when you have children who rely on you.

Are you a divorced woman with children and extra money? What are you doing with that money?

It drives me right around the bend when I read things like…

“Financial freedom is available to those who learn about it and work for it. It's unlikely for those who want to rely on such risky investment strategies as mutual funds.”

There are no “bad” investment classes. Investment vehicles like mutual funds, real estate, gold and yes, even the super hot right now uranium stocks are tools. At the right time with the right investor, all can make money. The opposite is also true. At the wrong time with the wrong investor, they can all lose money.

As I’ve noted on this site, I started investing in paper with $25 a month (no magic pot of cash available). I could have saved my little bit of money up til I had enough for stocks but I learn by doing and to learn about the market, I needed to be in it.

So I invested in mutual funds…for years.

Do I invest in them now? Actually, yes, yes, I do (F class funds). When I invest in high risk buckets like emerging markets (where information is harder to get at), I like an active manager in charge rather than playing the index. Its not the bulk of my portfolio but I do have some.

Are there other investments I could be invested in instead? Of course but this works for me.

There are no hard and fast rules to investing. On this site, E and I talk about how we do it. We don’t suggest that you follow our strategies 100%. Unless you’re a clone (and if you are…get your butt to the gym and stop eating so much chocolate). Do what works for you.

One of the few non personal finance bloggers making his way on our sidebar here at NoLimitsLadies is Seth Godin (also known...to me at least...as Seth baby), Mr. Permission Marketing himself (I wanted to see him in Phoenix at the end of the month but it turns out that I may be in Morocco that day...or was it Monaco? One of the M countries, can't remember which).

I felt a little guilty begging E to make an exception for him (okay, not begging E as she's a fan too) but darn it, the man has skills (despite his Purple Cow book small font).

Today he conveniently (for us) writes about marketers and personal finance. In short...don't spend more than you earn. And I like his bit about not borrowing money for anything that goes down in value (so no leveraging on high risk stocks ladies).

Nothing that makes Suze Orman tremble in fear over losing her job but still solid advice.

My hubby was a very hesitant investor. His main argument was that stocks weren’t “real.” I could have pointed out til the cows come home (cows actually do return home to the barn on their own to get milked) that what we were buying was partial ownership in companies and he’d still insist we weren’t truly buying anything. We don’t even have share certificates, merely numbers on a computer screen.

I was making very poor headway until we bought shares of an innovative consumers product company. I was in the grocery store, saw one of their new products, and brought it home for the hubby and I to try out. He got excited, really excited, but more importantly I finally got it.

My hubby is a visual investor.

He likes to see what he’s purchased and not just the numbers getting bigger. He wants to touch and feel if he can the product or investment. Now I don’t talk about the company without showing him something from the company. I don’t say “the company makes Tylenol”. I plunk a Tylenol container down in front of him.

Some people may read this and think that’s silly. But this is so common that companies pander to these investors. That’s why there are photos in the annual report. Charts.

We’re invested in a real estate private placement and they’re constantly sending us photos of properties they’ve invested in. My hubby studies these purchases intently. He notes their addresses and checks them out in person when he gets the opportunity. Sure he does all the other number crunching and so on (actually I do it for him and he reviews it) but these are some of his favorite investments. They are “real” to him.

"Power is the ability not to have to please." -Elizabeth Janeway