Our friend Amanda over at Young and Broke posed the question yesterday: should she join accounts with her husband, or keep her own account?. My response was that she should keep her own accounts open, and continue to maintain her identity. It fueled a great conversation. I was glad to have it hit a nerve. (Especially with the men...)
When I got married at 22, I did not have a freakin clue what I was getting myself into. (I was raised by a single that had never been remarried since she divorced when I was 2.) As newly weds, we joined everything- that’s what you do right? I let him handle all the finances, make all the financial decisions, especially after I had two babies and he was the primary "breadwinner". I became completely dependent. I literally had nothing in my name, except this joint account.
When the crap hit the fan, I found myself starting over again at 28. I have literally had to create a financial "footprint" for myself. I didn't have bad debt, but I didn't have really any credit history. They were like, yeah, where have you been?
Maybe I am an extreme example, but I don't think so. I truly believe that all women should maintain their financial identities, look at the statistics. It doesn't mean your marriage is doomed, it can mean extra protection, and a little nest egg for you, or even a place for you to stash cash for buying your loved-but-unjoined-one a birthday gift!
At the very least, keep a credit card (low limit if need be) in your name, have some utilities in your name, and have your own savings account. What I would love to see is women "carrying their own purses" with their own money in it, owning their own homes, and having their own investments for the future. Of course that's a whole other topic I'll address tomorrow! Cheers ladies!
Comments (5)
Forget divorce, what about death (freezing accounts if the will is contested or gasp there's a screw up somewhere)?
Or what if someone sues the spouse or you?
Or a million other reasons.
The hubby and I have both joint and separate accounts. We have assets in each of our names as well as in both. Each of us are primary cardholders on separate and different credit cards.
Posted by Kimber | September 1, 2006 11:30 AM
Posted on September 1, 2006 11:30
Great points K! The intial concern Amanda had was having too many accounts- however, the more wealth and assets you accumulate, the more safe guards you need to have in place- which means separate accounts, business accounts, LLC accounts for properties, etc.
Posted by prlinkbiz | September 1, 2006 11:41 AM
Posted on September 1, 2006 11:41
I think there are two separate issues here. One is the decision to have separate accounts due to good financial savvy...ie. Kimber's example above. Then it makes complete sense to do whatever is best financially.
The other is the committment issue. In that area any kind of division can lead to ... well, division. Which as your stats point out, happens a lot.
Posted by Jon | September 1, 2006 12:16 PM
Posted on September 1, 2006 12:16
Jon, a good point.
A clarification.
I'm not saying have a secret separate bank account or even to manage them separately. The hubby is fully aware of what is going on with my bank account as I am with his. The statements are open for any of us to review.
Whew...does that make you feel a bit better?
BTW...the majority of married men have a SECRET separate bank account while a much lessor (I think its around 17%) percent of married women have them.
Posted by Kimber | September 1, 2006 12:36 PM
Posted on September 1, 2006 12:36
CHEERS!! I'm a firm believer in individual accounts to maintain your own credit score/financial identity AND to establish a J.I.C.S. fund (as one of my girlfriends call it...Just In Case Shyt happens).
No individual (male or female) should be completely dependent on another. An account for him and an account for her (with other joint accounts and full disclosure of everything) does not imply a division of interest in the relationship. Nor does it imply commitment issues in the past, present or potentially in the future. IMO, it just says I am an individual, as well as a partner in this relationship, and I want to maintain the identity of both.
I think a husband who's looking out for his wife's best interest should recommend it. Statistics show that she will most likely live longer, so why not make sure she has the ability to stand on her own two feet.
Posted by Single Ma | September 1, 2006 1:15 PM
Posted on September 1, 2006 13:15