Usually, weekends are fun around here (well, everyday is fun). K takes the weekend off, and I rant and rave about various women and money things. However, as I have been going through Rich Woman this week, and especially after the joint account issue, I felt I had to press on and stir things up even more by bringing up the issue of investing and the spouse. Now I am just one girl, and my experience is just one- but you can learn a lot from me. I have done everything bass ackwards. K, also brings a lot of insight. She is my cultural counterbalance! You ladies probably fall somewhere in between our life experience!
There are really four options for us ladies when it comes to dealing with investing and a significant other:
1) Invest with partner as a team.
2) Invest on your own - with partner's support.
3) Invest on your own - without partner's support.
4) Don't invest.
Obviously, option 1 is ideal. Option 2 is probably the next best thing. Option 3 - not something any of us want to have to do, but really, it's your future. Option 4 shouldn't really be an option, but unfortunately for us as women, is too often the path of least resistance.
I tried for years to get my significant other on board. You would think securing our financial future would be a priority. But people are different. We are wired different, raised different, and sometimes we find to our dismay that we want different things in life. I had the unfortunate experience of having a spouse who actually decided to work against me. Most any issue can be worked through, even a spouse who may not quite be on the same page you are. But when respect for you is not there- girl, you gotsta do what you gotsta do. (K chime in anytime before people think I'm pro-divorce and not pro-women...)
I want desperately for us as women to stand on our own two feet. It can only bring stability and confidence to us, our marriages (if we so choose), our lives, our children, our future, etc. Where are you at? What are you going to do? How are you going to prepare for your financial future, spouse or no?
Making a special Saturday appearance, K chimes in:
When the hubby and I first got married, we were at completely different
places in the investment learning curve. He was Mr. Guaranteed Investment.
Although a great little saver, he knew nothing about investing or the stock
market or saving money on taxes (I looked at his tax return and cried).
He thought that stock market values were all "make believe", not realizing
that shares were merely shared ownership of a company. A company he
could touch and feel.
I had been investing seriously for the previous five years (I'm lazy and
investing well is easier than working beaucoup hoursovertime at a job). I had
already moved past mutual funds to more complicated investments.
Investments that scared the hubby half to death.
So I managed our money differently. I kept a portion (that we called "his")
in the guaranteed investments he was comfortable. Another portion
(we called "mine" - it was easier for the hubby to think he wasn't risking
"his" money) was in the complicated investments (with much, much, much
higher returns..did I mention higher returns?).
Eventually (lucky 7 years later) the hubby, with my encouragement, had
moved along the investment curve. Now, although for security reasons we
divide the money into separate legal ownership (that is only prudent), we
invest as a team. I still take the lead as the senior (and most
interested) investor but the hubby, at least, feels comfortable with our
decisions.
I believe marriage is for the long haul. No use taking huge leaps when
baby steps will get me to the same place less painfully.